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Member
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 43
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#61
Nobody actually said I had to choose but I know I can’t have both... no matter what I choose someone will be disappointed and I don’t see an option where I’m actually happy.
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Member
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: US
Posts: 422
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#62
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Member
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 43
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#63
Well, the more I read what every one has to say I’m starting to realize I just don’t want to let go. Even if there isn’t anything there left to hold onto I wasn’t ready to lose so much of my life all at once. Every day we don’t fight is just a tease I’ll never have again... I know a lot of you are frustrated with my dilemma because apparently everybody on here and in my life I’ve talked to has said the exact same thing to me.... I’m just not ready to accept it yet I guess. Nice guys finish last and I’m the apex of pathetic in a world of users. I got lost in something I didn’t know about and now that I’m so far in and gone not only do I not know how to get out but I’m not sure if I even want to. I’ll admit, obviously, I have several mental ailments I’m dealing with that are not helping with my situation at all either. Nothing dangerous or even medicated(anymore) so it’s not an immediate issue as far as I can see.
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Werewoman
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guy1111
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Poohbah
Member Since May 2014
Location: Betelgeuse
Posts: 1,472
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#64
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Then his friends started asking me what I had done to him. They said he changed and suddenly started behaving responsibly. I was very skeptical, but that soon passed. He is my best friend and soulmate, and we have been together 30 years. Sometimes, people are wrong. __________________ You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. ~ Robin Williams Did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? ~ Pink Floyd |
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*Beth*
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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#65
When I was much younger and before I was married my then-boyfriend and I separated for some months. During that time I became pregnant from a man I was dating. But my then-boyfriend had second thoughts about he and I splitting up and made his thoughts known to me. In the meantime, the baby's father opted to be out of the picture.
My then-boyfriend wanted to raise the baby with me. We decided to get married. We raised our daughter together and, a few years later, had a son. Ironically, my daughter and my husband have always been especially close. As for her biological father, he has very occasional contact with my daughter, just to basically say Hello, how are you. But my daughter fully considers her adoptive father (my husband) her "dad." She's now almost 36 years old. If everyone in the picture is mature about the situation and never uses the child as a pawn - never - the situation can work out to be wonderful. Every child deserves to be loved and cherished. It's only our selfish egos that stand in the way of that. __________________ |
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Yourself
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Werewoman
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#66
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Have Hope, Molinit, Turtle_Rider, Yourself
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,129
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#67
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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#68
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Although your question is rudely worded, I'll answer it: Yes. My husband has a big heart, a small ego, and room to love any child. And vice-versa; I would feel the same way were he to conceive a child outside of our marriage. 'Nuf said. __________________ |
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Werewoman
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Member
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 43
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#69
She says the same thing to me that if it were the other way around she would gladly raise my child with someone else but 1. I don’t believe that for a second. And 2. I can’t have kids anyway so it’s very easy to say that when it’ll never be an issue anyway...
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AzulOscuro
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
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#70
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You are the right one to know how your future with her could be, not us. In marriages, in couples, there aren’t rules that say this is good or bad (this is updated as a user stated) only the one the members of the couple decide. Wonder yourself if you are gonna be happy in these circumstances. You have the right to think about what it best for you. Do you feel she loves you? So go ahead. This is the most important but if you have a doubt, let her cope with the consequences of her acts. I wonder why she in the earth told this guy she was pregnant? I also wonder why you have so clear that she would never raise a kid you conceived with another woman? The History is full of examples like this. You could have more clues about her that you don’t share with us. So, it’s necessary that you follow your guts since you are the one who knows her better. __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
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#71
Your case is not under the same circumstances. You were separated from your ex. You can’t compare.
__________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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#72
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Member
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 43
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#73
I think I messed up... I’m sleeping with a pregnant woman... I am weak 😔 and confused, everyday feels like a nightmare I thought I woke up from but never did...
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Werewoman
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#74
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,505
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#75
Good point. My grandfather was a wonderful man, husband, father and grandfather, great person all together. He wasn’t my mom’s bio father. But he was her father. We never even think about that he didn’t conceive her. I think people put too much emphasis on who biologically conceived a child, instead of who is actually being a parent.
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*Beth*, Werewoman
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
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#76
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,129
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#77
Love is supposed to be a happy and fulfilling experience.. not daily emotional torture and certainly not a nightmare.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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#78
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Exactly. __________________ |
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Member
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 43
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#79
Yes it’s with my pregnant woman haha I didn’t find another. We are trying to be together but now that it’s getting better I’m getting worried I had nothing to do with it and I’m just waiting for her... I feel selfish but if I don’t have any say or control over my own relationship am I really even part of it? To be fair my current situation seems to laughingly scream no in my face but I could be over thinking. Or I could be a terrible person I don’t know...
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Werewoman
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,129
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#80
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It's really simple. A happy and healthy relationship does not involve so much anguish and turmoil. An unhealthy relationship involves the above kind of negative emotions. I know you say you love her no matter what, but at what cost to you? No need to answer... just to ponder. If you're happy or truly believe you can be in this relationship, then great! And if not, then maybe think on this a bit more. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes Last edited by Have Hope; Feb 21, 2021 at 08:46 AM.. |
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Yourself
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Turtle_Rider
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