Do you think looks are more important than personality when it comes to relationships

I agree and I would say looks sometimes get in the way of happiness , as I shared previously , I just got out of a relationship with someone who isn’t right for me, there was love and romance , but not happiness, not for me, and both of us are beautiful/handsome people .

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Ouch. I don’t think I will be that harsh but I definitely need someone who’s financially independent in the sense of being a full on adult.

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When I was 15 I was dating a jock and he was sooo cute BUT I soon found out he had the intelligence of a rock. Then I had this epiphany (or at least it seemed like one at 15 lol) If I'm only attracted to someone for their looks or money that someone can be in an accident and be horrifically scarred or that person could have a change of circumstances and lose it all. If I like them for their personality well short of a brain injury or something along those lines that doesn't usually change. So I decided right then and there to do my best to forget about looks and focus on personality.

I'm not saying I don't notice if someone is attractive (in my eyes, to each their own) but if they don't have personality forget it. In my experience liking someone's personality makes them attractive to me. I think I am in the minority though.

It depends on the type of relationship one is seeking. I am now seeking just lovers who are friends. So, for me, a nice build and looks to some extent are important. The dating app online world is rather superficial and most men have chosen me based on my appearance. So, I know this because they keep talking about my appearance initially, instead of my job or personality. I am nice to a certain extent and this seems to be not a factor for some guys. I have been on dating apps off and on for about four years and it is a very superficial world out there. Because of this, I don't recommend online dating apps to anyone. I have been also called fat -one time, after I met the man - I am curvy so this may be called fat. But, I looked at him and he was a short bald fat man himself. I was glad he was turned off by me as I was to him. Most people on the dating apps online use photos that are really old or photoshop their pics. They also lie on their profiles about their age. One man was about 75 and said he was in his 60s.. So, it is highly recommended to meet in person right away to see how the person really looks like in reality and see if there is any chemistry. So far, I have had only one rejection based on looks but have been rejected a few times because I am not from the country I am living in. But, who cares?

I am currently seeing a former soccer player and am satisfied. He is nice and decent as well as tall and well-built. I don't know how it will turn out but so far, he is good to me so I guess although I like his looks, how one treats the other is equally as important. Some people are nice personally and this is great but I'm looking for sparks and fireworks when I meet someone initially. Truthfully, looks are important initially but afterwards, the veneer rubs off and there has to be more than looks to keep a relationship going. So, if someone has both looks and a decent personality, then this is the best combination. Of course, having a decent job and a rather healthy lifestyle are factors too. So, one can't base a relationship on just looks and personality since there are many factors to a good relationship. I sound if I am experienced in relationships but am not. I have had only bad ones so know from my mistakes that I must feel attracted to the person and also get along with him. I'm becoming wiser but so far I have never had a good relationship so take what I say with a grain of salt.

So why do I meet success with women ten times easier when I'm in shape?

Because it makes you feel good about yourself which in turn boosts your self confidence. Now THAT women notice. Self confidence is almost as sexy as intelligence.

Looks fade in time, but who you are, personality etc........is what is important.

How do looks get in the way of happiness? I am a good looking woman and come from long line of good looking people (although it changes with age of course) it never interfere in our happiness in any shape or form and why would it? I am not making a connection here. Some good looking people are happy and some aren’t but not because of looks

Right. They see my confidence before I open my mouth. They see my confidence when I walk past them on the street. They see my confidence when I'm sitting at the bar and staring at the wall when they're 20 feet away. That's some deeper level of BS, no offense.

Let me gain few pounds, ignore my skin care routine for two weeks and wear some random clothes and then we'll see how far my confidence's gonna get me

Looks change over time. I've always been attractive and that hasn't changed. I have some wrinkles, and a few light brown spots which are the result of my sun worship as a teenager. Other than that my hair is natural and so far not a grey in sight.

Oh and I can still rock a corset. 😋

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Originally Posted by leomama Ouch. I don’t think I will be that harsh but I definitely need someone who’s financially independent in the sense of being a full on adult. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Lol....in otherwords....I don't need a man in my life to make my life complete

I agree with you, BB. At first sight people notice your looks. However, it is subjective as to what people consider attractive. Then they notice personality. Sometimes, it could be the other way around, but both looks and personality are factors in someone’s attraction to another. Someone may say they haven’t a care about a person’s looks, only their personality to choose as a romantic partner…I say “That’s incredible!”

When I met my college bf, at first glance he was a short, thin, but cute guy dressed in a leather jacket and punk look (early 80’s) who was carrying on a gambling game in the dorm hallway! I was attracted to both looks and personality equally at once. He was edgy, he was outrageous, different from anyone I had previously known, interesting, and cute and sexy. This was all subjective to my opinion.

I agree with the poster who said it depends on what kind of relationship you want. For someone looking only for sex, then physical attraction obviously is most all that is taken into account, I suppose. Maybe if they had a horrid personality, the person wouldn’t even stand them for a one night thing.

SarahSweets- I think you enjoy posting a question about a subject that brings about a lively discussion. It’s cool. Opinions are like azzholes, everybody’s got one!

Looks are subjective like Tisha said and also looks are very much culturally/ethnically defined. There is no such thing as universally good looks. Even talking about weight, in some cultures heavier set woman is considered much more appealing than a thin one. Some people consider others good looking if their features conform to main stream majority of the population’s standard. And so on and so forth

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Originally Posted by eskielover Lol....Personally I want it all... good looks, personality, common sense & intelligence & someone who isn't a financial looser. Exactly why I am staying single after a 33 year bad marriage

To clarify my comment, this only has to do with a marriage partner. I worked in an mostly all male career & got along & enjoyed (& still do), the company & friendship of all kinds of guys. Not many subjects I don't know enough about to have good conversations. Looks has nothing to do with it. Personality does but really if they can have good conversations great. Just not letting anyone into my shared personal space unless they are perfect which is basically saying. NOT LOOKING, NOT INTERESTED

Well it’s like seeing a room that looks good and everything is fine. Yet it’s not a room that is inviting and cozy and warm. Then there is the room that’s like country cozy with a fire lit that you want to go into and sit down in because it’s warm and inviting. It’s ok if it’s a tad messy because that doesn’t take away from how warm and cozy it is to spend time in and put ones feet up and relax. It is a room that one wants to spend time in verses just looking at where it’s too fancy to sit comfortably in.

A beautiful person is a person who can see you and a person that is comfortable to sit with and perfection doesn’t matter. It’s like that cozy room with a warm fire that is so relaxing and comfy to spend time in. 😉

Not taking care of your skin, dressing badly and in some cases (not all as weight is more complex than that) neglecting your health/diet routine isn’t really about looks. It mostly sends people message that you can’t care less about anything.

Ignoring skin care for two weeks is a “life style” and “hygiene” issue, not “looks” issue. It’s about how you carry yourself. You can have the most perfect body and facial feature but if you ignore basic health routine and refuse to groom yourself, then your issue is not “looks”. Size of my nose or my height for example I can’t control. Dressing in random clothes or or washing my face I sure can control

Well, what do I know?
I've been married longer than you've been alive.

Its more important to focus on compatibility. You have to be friends first. Maybe your problem isn't your looks. It could be your attitude towards yourself. If you like yourself and are self confidedent it shows in the way you carry yourself and women notice that.

On the most primitive level, men want women who will be good breeders and the women want the strongest men as providers for them and their children.

And? I'm talking about laws of attraction and it's likely I've been on dating battlefield longer than you since, as I said before, I'm not a relationship kind of guy. Marriage is much different.

I didn't say to dress badly, I said to wear random clothes (nothing special).

I didn't say don't take care of your skin. I was talking about taking care of my post-acne routines that keep my skin in great shape.

Neglecting my diet? I was talking about gaining few pounds just so I won't have classic muscular body type, but more average/random.

These three have nothing to do with the message you're talking about and trust me - they make a DIFFERENCE. If you don't believe it, be aware of today's girls in mid 20s. They care about it a lot.

What kind of a problem do I have?

I'm just saying that looks are very very important and I'm explaining why.

I’m sorry my writing didn’t make sense to you.

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This is a difficult subject. Feel I could be very controversial with what I say here.

Having both in equal measure would be ideal, but life isn't like that. How we are "wired" means we have different priorities and as we age, they may change. So now I'm going to give the personal opinion of a single female, mature in age.

I think there needs to be "something". A sparkle in their eyes and a nice smile. Am I bothered about eye or hair colour, no. I prefer guys with hair, sorry the shaved look doesn't do it for me. Nor do tattoos or earrings. I like a guy to be clean and look smart, except when he's doing the garden, lol! Massive ego as bad as no personality at all. Personality wise, someone who can talk about many subjects without making me feel foolish and respect my views.

Unfortunately, we live in an age dominated by social media and the quest to have perfect looks. Only a few young people understand that there are other important traits when seeking a life partner.

I don’t see issues with your writing. I just don’t understand how good looks are causing problems. Since it’s not causing problems for me I genuinely wanted to know how it causes problems for you. You don’t have to respond. I was just curious

Actually the picture on the left? That young man is not ugly. I would not have turned him away for a date.

The issue is with my writing because that’s not exactly what I was saying. I was saying relationship based on looks is problematic.

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