I let him back in and now I am kicking myself #2

I think I am going to ask him to pay for the tax services. I can't contribute $150 or whatever my half the cost would be.

It’s fair. He could pay for it.

He is nice.. so far. I will take it slow. I am not sure yet what he's looking for.

I think so too. I mean, I bought him that chair - he can pay for our taxes to be done.

That is amazing

Once again, I am freaking out. I just realized that I only have 2 weeks to get a job. My apartment lease is ending, and in two weeks, I have to let my landlord know if I am staying or leaving. If I don't have a job by then, I will have to move in with my mother & have my husband take my cat!! I thought I had more time, but my landlord requires 60 day notification, it's written in my lease that way, and my lease ends May 31.

You should be able to ask for a short-term lease -- that's what we did when our lease expired in December and we weren't moving out until June.


Also find out what happens when you break the lease - usually it's just a penalty like half a month's rent. Basically a cash grab.


I really hate it when they make you sign a lease every year. Here usually it's just the first year, then after that you rent month to month.

Try not to panic - you can just sign the lease and trust that you will find something.

My landlord won't do a 6 month lease. I already know this.

And breaking the lease makes me responsible for (1) finding someone to take over my lease and (2) if I don't find someone, then I am responsible for the rent.

I woke up this morning in a panic about all of this. I can't lose my cat, or my home.

I suppose I could do the fundraiser now that I know I will lose my home if I don't have a job.... I am back to thinking about doing this.

My husband dropped off his tax papers for me yesterday and we talked for a while. Or rather, we got into a heated argument for a while. And, I am just plain disgusted by him.

He told me he would have fought me tooth and nail about alimony, IF I had chosen to pursue this. He said he would have driven up my legal fees in order to fight me. This is in addition to him also telling me that he will pay off all my debt and half my rent IF I give him another chance. So, he's not willing to help me unless I date him again, and just as I predicted, he would have retaliated had I pursued alimony! He disgusts me. He knows the very bad position I am in now.

Then I asked him if he would take my cat short-term if I have to move in with my mother. He is really the only option. He tells me that IF he has to take my cat, along with his 2 other cats, that he should just keep my cat for the long-term because it's too disruptive & confusing for the cats if we separate them again once I am on my feet.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I told him, no way, she's MY cat... and you are NOT going to keep MY cat. This would only be short-term until I can get back on my feet again, and then I will want her back. The cats will adjust, I said.... so he said, you view them as "just cats", well, they are effected by our divorce too, because they all got separated and moved out of their home, away from their sister. Again, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I reiterated to him, that no, I don't view them as "just cats", and that they WILL adjust again in time... it may take a couple months, but they will be fine if we have to bring them together and then separate them again.

So, here he is, making me out to be some sort of monster who doesn't care about the cats' well being. I was so upset after seeing him that I bailed on my plans for the night and stayed home. And I cried.

I cannot believe the position I am in now. It's totally a pressure cooker of a situation at this point. I don't want to have to move in with my mother, and I don't want to lose my cat, even for the short-term. And I don't want to give my cat to my husband, even for the short-term, but there is no one else. I suppose I have one other friend I could ask, but she has 2 dogs, and I think my cat would be freaked out by 2 dogs.

UGH!!!!!!! WHY is this happening???????

I talked to my mother. I finally told her and confessed that I've taken out a large loan. She says give back the personal loan, and she will loan me the money instead to help make ends meet.

I put up an ad for a roommate on Craigslist this morning. If I can get a roommate in the next 2 weeks BY CHANCE, then my mom will have to loan me a lot less money than I need right now without a roommate.

Did i mention that my a-hole husband balked at and rolled his eyes when I asked if he would pay for our tax consultant?????? So, here he is, willing to wipe out ALL of my debt, and pay HALF of my rent IF I agree to date him again, yet he is annoyed and pissed off that I asked him to pay $300 to our tax consultant, saying I cannot afford to split the cost with him?????????

I am BEYOND peeved at him for his a-holish-ness.

Good luck in court today.

I’m sorry to hear that.

Roommate might be a good option as well as moms help. Your now ex shows his true colors

Thank you @Buffy01.

@divine1966, yes, if I get a roommate, and with my mother's financial help, it would help me to keep my apartment, provided of course that I find a job... all is contingent on me finding a job. And yes, his true colors are coming out, once again.

if we was in the same country i'd offer to take your cat short-term (Willow allowing)

Have you tried reaching out to charitable organisations and asking for help from there? i know it might feel like too much of a drag but you never know, you could be pleasantly surprised.

Your welcome

No, but I was thinking of running a fundraiser & passing it around on Facebook to all my friends to ask for help.

Aw, thanks for the though, dear willow!!

So sorry to hear that ex is being a jerk. Wow, I can't believe the leases are so strict in the US. If you break a lease here you just have to pay a penalty but you certainly don't have to find another tenant or pay the (I assume) full term of the lease. You might want to verify your legal obligations -- what if you had to move due to illness or work requirements?


I'm sorry you are feeling pressured. The lease thing doesn't have to be a pressure cooker. I would tend to just sign the lease as the likelihood seems high that you will get another job. And the loan from your mom gives you time. I've had poor luck with roommates so I would get several references if you go that route.

This situation will resolve itself. This will pass. I personally think that moving with your mom and giving up your cat (even temporarily) would be a mistake. Pets are important to our mental health. I couldn't be away from my fur babies.


If you haven't done so already though, you may wish to double check that your mom's residence would not allow a cat under any circumstances, even temporarily. Because where I live said "1 pet only" and yet they accepted our second cat after confirming they are indoor only. I had to write the strata for permission. Another apartment I lived in that was strictly "no pets" (rental building) allowed us to take my brother-in-law's bird for several weeks. So exceptions do get made. Otherwise it's probably best to stay where you are and not add the stress of moving to the stress you are under.

I believe in you and that you will find work soon. I'm very glad your mom agreed to help so you don't have to use the bank loan.

But I AM panicking. And I AM in a pressure cooker of a situation.

I posted an ad for a roommate... I would need one within 2 weeks. With a roommate and my mother's help, I can get by for a while, but the economy isn't helping. I have not had an interview in over 2 weeks, nor a single reply to ANY of my recent applications, of which there are many.

I am in a very dark place emotionally right now and I am in a bad way. My mom told me she won't allow my cat in her home. I have no choice but to give her to my husband if I have to move in with my mother.

And there are no signs that the economy will improve, so there's no guarantee I will get a job. I fear that my last job ruined my entire career and career prospects.

Don't be afraid to ask for help hun especially if you really do not want your Ex anywhere near you.

I Hope everything works out for ya..

Thank you.

Suggestion: is there anyone on the forum who is near you who can help by looking after your cat short-term, so you don't have that stress from your ex?