should i stay... or should i go?

Ive been lurking for a while now,but i really need some advice!
Im married for 3 years,together for 5.In the beginning it was great,i felt he adored me.Things went downhill as i have anger issues,(i hit him a few times...and he hit me back)I also self injure,which drives him nuts.I have been in therapy for over a year,and it is slowly working.About 6 months ago his two teenage kids(16 and 18)moved in.I have a 10 year old already living with us.I may be crazy,but he almost changed overnight.He changed towards my daughter,and i just dont feel loved.He seems very bitter towards me,and i dont blame him.He is unsupportive of therapy,thinks i should only talk to him.We fight over everything.He lets his kids do whatever,im from a different school.i worry if they are safe.I worry what effect they will have on my daughter.I know none of the kids will be around forever,but our marriage is falling apart.We dont show each other any caring or love,just bitterness.This all makes me cut even more.
Should i try to save my marriage,or just go.How do you even go about saving a marriage.I cant talk.I feel too hurt.

Have you tried couples counseling? Or maybe have him talk to your therapist to have your therapist help explain your condition a little better?

I'm in a similar situation so I'm not the best to advise you...but I don't think you should make the big step to leave until you try at least some type of counseling to help with communication issues.

That is, unless there is any abuse.....is there?

What does your therapist say about the marriage? I'm not sure if you want to work for it or not. I think if you do, you have to let go of some of your own bitterness and work on helping him, see what is there and if the marriage can be saved. You say you don't feel loved, does your husband feel loved? You can't change what he does, only what you do. I would work on that for a bit and see if things appear to get any better.

No,he doesn't feel loved either!
My Therapist tends to think i don't have enough support at times,and that he is also responsible.I always get the blame for every argument(as i have anger issues!) but he just pushes and pushes until i get really mad.Then its "there you go again..."He has offered to work with us both,but hubby wont go.
I know its down to me to sort things out,but its hard when you think he doesn't give a damn.I have changed quite a bit,and manage my anger more,but get depressed instead.I feel i have so much to deal with,cant he try for a change?

No,there isnt any abuse...we are as bad as each other.Ive been in abusive relationships before...and i would really leave,with no hesitation.

Seems like time for family counseling but you said "hubby won't go". I know the feeling. I've tried to get my now ex girlfriend to go but she doesn't think she has any problems that God can't fix...Oh well....

Anyway, there are some good self help books available on saving marriages. (trust me, I've got a bunch of em) Most of the ones I have are Christian based but that doesn't mean the material can't be applied.

Check out:

Healing the Hurt by Dr. Gary & Barbara Rosberg
The 5 Love Needs of Men & Women by the same authors
The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
Starved for Affection by Dr. Randy Carlson
Husbands who won't lead & Wives who won't follow by James Walker Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
Rescue Your Love Life by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
Boundaries by the same authors as above (cloud & townsend - there are several in this series, and workbooks to go with them)

Or you can try: http://www.family.org/

I know they various services

If you need more info, lemme know and I"ll see what I can find for you....

Best of luck..

Thank you so much for the advice here.I will definitely check out these books and the link.Its as good a start as any!
Thanks again

Like I said, need more, lemme know. And lemme know how you make out.