me and my parents

I have a few years left living with my parents and wtih my older sister on her own for a few years now, Im in the middle of it all.

my dad is in his 40s and my mom is in her 50s

I have to constantly be stuck in between them-sometimes complaining about each other to me and its slighty disfunctional

they have been together for around 21 years now and both had spouse before they met each other.

my bigest fear is that what unity is still holding them together might collapse or grow very weak when I leave

I'm not going to stop me from living my life-but I grow very worried sometimes

my grandparents on my dads side are getting their in age and when they pass on it will probly only make things worse- at least for my dad

thats basicaly my relationship with my parents and my point of view
-if anyone needs clarity or ask questions go for it

I am so sorry you are pulled in the middle. maybe sit your parents down and tell them you do not like where they are putting you. too much for a child to deal with.

(((((whiteNight)))))

I'm sorry that your parents are putting you in the middle of this. First and foremost I must say that you are not the only thing holding them together. And don't think that when it is time to be on your own that you should stay to keep them together.

One thing you can do to lighten your load is to tell each of them that you are not gonna listen to them speak badly about the other. That, in my experience, is like making a child decide which parent they favor. Of course in the parent's position this doesn't come to mind, but it does happen.

My mom would often complain to me about my father. I listened to years and years of it. Although my parents were divorced, I was still the middle man so to speak for all their communication. My mom refused to speak to my dad personally without screaming at him so I became the person to relay messages to my dad. My dad never said a bad word about my mom, though. Not to me. So I tended to favor my dad over my mom because of her behavior.

I hope this helps some.

i don't know if its guilt or my own personal struggles holding me back from talking wtih them about it-il probly try talking wtih my sis b4 I have that kind of talk

so much happening right now with me aboiut to graduate from high school next month

but thx for opening up a path that i should follow

While it would be nice to have two parents who get along and live together harmoniously, one must accept the fact that they may need to live apart, or they may be happy with a disfunctional relationship. You shouldn't feel caught between them or feel like you will be the cause of conflict or separation. If you do feel that way, it is their fault for doing or saying things to make you feel like you are (or will be) somewhat to blame.

My parents are happy together (but aren't perfect, of course, like none of us are), so I probably can't totally identify. But good luck anyway, don't take it personally if they fall apart after you leave.

the most stable relationship i have witnesed in my family is going to be my grandparents on my dads side- they have been together for over 50 years now

got to let the polar bear infront of you fall in the ice for you sometimes

personally im 19 and have never been in a relationship

theres been 3 times in the past that I have tryed to start one but im still underdeveluped in that subject

the reason is probly from having a tramatic event of loosing my 2 best friends at the end of 1st grade at the same time(leaving the school) and for 7 years i isolated myself and over half my memories are "blacked out" one of Frued's theoryies on loosing memory relates wtih my story

I took group theropy around 5 years ago but I moved to a diferent state alltogether- that can be very stressful- but I spent 10 years at the same campus(a private school system prek-12 i went to 8th grade)

I got to start my life over but im still on a long road to recovery

I want to live a life with a family of my own-but in my current status that will be very hard to do
-I know im only 19 and ive got college and my life ahead of me-but im still learning to crawl

all of you that are married and feel that sense of loneliness before you spouse comes home that urge to be held
-well as of now thats all i feel

I know I have a family that cares for me but Im alone in a crowded place

my parents always said i was a "thinker" and I am but when it comes to trying to start a relationship thats all I ever do is think of what I could of done

-some of you can probly remember a time when you played out a entire conversation in your head for what you and the other person is saying-well thats all I ever do most the time

thats pretty much my inner turmoil with relationships-and i have my parents relationship on top of that and my sister recently breaking up with her BF of like 4 years and graduation coming up-its like ugh

(((((whiteNight)))))

Take your time with relationships. There's no rush.

I think we learn how to behave in certain situations from our parents and when we don't have a good example then I think we'd be pretty apprehensive about having our own relationships. So I can certainly understand why you're apprehensive, along with the experience you had when you were younger.

It sounds a little like you lack the confidence to put action into your thoughts. Don't take that the wrong way but how it sounds to me is that you've got the thinking going on and you shy away from acting on them. I have to admit...I do that too. Usually if I wanna say something to someone or it would create some sort of conflict then I don't act on my thoughts.

Hang in there.

I totally agree wtih you on that

im learning about stress in psychology right now

im dealing wtih a lot of Approach-Avoidance conflict

wanting something but has fear or doubs of actual outcome

I try to just think of this as part of the roller coaster that takes you up before the first big drop
-some just take longer than others before diving in