Stay or go

My husband and I have been together for about 11 years (only married for 2 though). When we got married we agreed that neither of us wanted kids. Recently I became pregnant (by carelessness on our part) and although I was not thrilled I eventually accepted it. My husband wanted me to have an abortion but I just couldn't.
At 9 weeks I had a miscarriage. I went to the hospital and was admitted. My husband didn't seem to care at all that I was in hospital. He didn't drive me there and only visited once. I was upset about losing the baby but what hurt even more was his total disinterest in my well-being. I am still shocked by how cold and uncaring he was.
I did ask him why he didn't care that I was in hospital and he mumbled something about it was because I was pregnant. I know he didn't want the baby but I still feel that was not the way to handle the situation. My heart is just broken by his actions and although I am trying to forgive and forget it just doesn't seem to be happening, especially since he doesn't appear to be sorry in any way.
I guess I need some help on how to handle this situation. I've tried to talk to him but he was not raised to talk about problems and just sits there not speaking when faced with an uncomfortable conversation. I do love him but I really feel that I deserve more. How do I get him to talk to me about this?

I'm so sorry you virtually went thru this alone .... your husband sounds a little unfeeling here i can understand why you are hurt ..... is he usually unemotional? It's hard to give advice when so little is known about you both, but my advice would be to sit him down, look him in the eye and get him to look at you and see how much you are hurting ..... he really needs to talk to you about this o it will fester within you ... it is a horrible thing to go thru losing a baby, i am so sorry, maybe some councelling would be good for you too? sending you gentle hugs if that's ok, please keep reaching out here too, we will support you.

love, Jinnyann xoxoxoxoxo

Hi labracorn

Welcome to PC I am so sorry for your loss. Even though neither one of you wants children, I know it is still very difficult to mourn the loss of an unborn child.

It sounds like your husband and you share a wonderful relationship generally. You seem to know he is not one to generally talk about things. Perhaps avoidance may be why and the type of home he was emotionally raised in.

When I had one of my miscarriages several years back, we had decided on no more children. My husband as well, was very distant and unwilling to talk. I just let time take its course, and eventually (many months later) we talked about it.

Wish you luck and take care!

(((((labracorn))))) How awful to you! I know that would make me look at my husband in a different light that's for sure! I'm so sorry that you had to go through this alone. Can you sit him down and tell him that it is a necessity that you two talk this out if your marriage is to continue? You're right, you really do deserve more!

Welcome to PC, you'll get the support you need here.