Help, I need to stop looking for an affair

I have been married for 7 years and have 2 young children. I got married when I was 18 and have been with my husband since I was 16. We have had our ups and downs and have gone to therapy before. He's a great guy, no complaints, except I am bored to death!. I know it sounds awful, but we have nothing in common, he doesn't make me laugh at all. I don't really find him physically attractive anymore. We have both agreed in the past that if it weren't for us having children we wouldn't be together. I was pregnant when I got married. He tells me he loves me all the time but I don't think I feel the same way towards him anymore. We can't afford therapy. Any Advice. I find myself constantly looking for other men without even realizing it. I have not met anyone else and have not had any type of affair yet, but I fear I will. I am terrified of divorcing and hurting my children because of it, but I'm going crazy int his relationship! Please help!

it sounds like that old saying about the 7 yr itch. marriage is really hard work to keep it alive. I know my husband and I have gone thru this similar to you. I can tell you we have both started working very hard to become friends again and start laughing again. all our life together we have had other people living in our home. now that we are alone we don't now how to behave around just us. keep working at it. I am sure you will find that love again. we have found that we really really enjoy sitting on our front porch with a little fire in the little pit we bought. it gets us away from the tv and computers and we are finding that we can actually talk again. keep trying hon.

Hope...It would be nice, wouldn't it, if it could be like lovely Bebop says.
I was married for 20 years, much as you describe, and much from the beginning. I had many "fantasy" affairs, though I was never physically unfaithful to my husband. I even told him about a couple of these infatuations. The reason I didn't leave, and I wanted to, from early on, is that he told me he would take our daughter from me and throw me out in the street with nothing...and I believed him. In retrospect, I think I would have had more rights, but I was so brainwashed and dominated by him.
Your situation may not be this severe. And maybe, as Bebop says, there is hope for the two of you. I can only related to what I experienced. And I did leave, but only after our daughter had left for college, at which time he was sheepish and apologetic.
Patty

Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. Laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh laugh. THE most important things you can do together. Everything else will fall in place, but it is work. Anything worth having is. If you were in an orchard and wanted an apple, you could walk around and find one laying on the ground. It might even be shiney and round. But bite into it and it's full of bruises and worm holes. Look at the top of the tree, though and you'll find the one that is just right for you--but you have to work for it! Good for you for recognizing that you have these feelings before acting on them!

My advice... would be to start looking at your husband with "fresh" eyes... look at him... like you have never seen him before... and find... new things that you like... they are there... hidden but there...

If it is that you are just bored - and not abused.. in any way... that is...

The other side of the "fence" and perhaps something to think about.. as you go thru this.. I was married to a man that beat me.. for 12 years..

My son's friend's..... parents - they lived behind us... beautiful home.. in a beautiful neighborhood... his wife got "bored".... and divorced him.. 2 young children 8,5.... he made good money...
It was truly a case of boredom... by her... she was bored..

The divorce.. the home sold... she in/out of relationships.. the children torn apart....
Her "boredom" never got "cured"....

So... if what you have is comfortable.. in that it is not... abusive...from looking at their marriage and the outcome... I would say... look for the "new" within him... and you will find it..

I would have given my "eyeteeth".. for a "boring" marriage.... one that I could have "fixed"...

Why wait. If you are not happy with him now what makes you think you will be happy in 10 years .Lots of people make this mistake and over time end up hating the other person for all the wasted years and if you think you kids cant tell guess again. What are you teaching them that being married means being unhappy you are setting them up to fail i their relationships .Whats better for them ? You and your husband happy a part or unhappy together .

Thank you all for the input. Part of me thinks my husband feels the same way but just won't admit it. I've asked him plenty of times, He is a good man, I feel awful because I should be greatful. He doesn't abuse me in anyway, He loves his kids and is constantly doing things with them. He has never cheated on me or anything like that. I'm scared that if I chose to leave I would never find someone thats a good a man as he, but when you constantly try to find things to do together and always come up empty handed, what to do then? I like socializing and being around people and he would rather sit at home all the time. He also plays the victim alot, and is pessimistic about alot of things and both those things together are a HUGE turn OFF for me. I've told him too but he feels he shouldn't have to change. I don't think I could ever go through with an affair, for my childrens sake, not his. I'll keep trying to work it out though. Hopefully it'll get better, It's sad when you are married with two children yet even when your home with a full house you feel extremely lonely;