[BamaSurvivor]

Me and my ex boyfriend Bo were together for a year, we broke up on our one year anniversary. This was TWO years ago... I've tried moving on, I've tried dating, occupied my time, etc, etc... I'm still as in love with him now as I was two years ago.

His mother and my mother are somewhat close friends and she has said he's dating some girl but they aren't serious at all. What should I do? Should I talk to him or should I continue thinking the way I am? Should I not say anything because he is seeing someone? I'm so confused. It's been two years and I still want to be with him so badly. Is this even normal? *sigh*

[JohnShaft]

I'm in the same boat as you, though it's only been a year out of the relationship for me. I feel like it's destroyed my capacity for love. I'm dating a girl right now and feel terrible because I know I'll never love her.

I just can't get over my ex. She's my first thought in the morning, my last before bed. I think of her many times during the day. I gave her my soul.

She doesn't care about me though. She's marrying some turd (filthy rich turd I should say) after six months of dating.

I can't bare to see her. I tried, and though it makes me so happy to see her, I know I'll be thrown back into despair after she leaves. I haven't been invited to her wedding which is probably a good thing. I don't think I could bare it.

I guess it's not too unusual to feel this way Bama. At least I hope not. Here's hoping we both can get over this.

[SpazKatt]

John, I think someday you MAY love this girl, I never thought I could love again after a 3 year relationship, it took me at LEAST 2 years to stop loving and then to realize it's OK to love others! Best wishes both of you. I know how it feels and it really sucks *HUGS*

[Wants2Fly]

I think it takes longer for some of us to heal and "get over" things than others.

I don't see any harm in contacting your ex, as long as you won't be hurt even more than you already are if the contact doesn't fulfill your expectations. Some of which may be hidden even from yourself.

((((((((((((((((((Bama))))))))))))))))))))

[nothemama8]

It took me 4 years to get over my first love and he was my abuser, now I'm in the best place ever 29 yrs married It can happen to others
Angie

[sadnconfused]

I know how you all feel. I was with my ex for 3 years and I broke up with him because drank and spent a lot of time with his friends and not tell me where he was. We have benn broken up for 8 months now and about a month ago I gave his friend my number to give to him and 2 days later he called me. I know he has a girlfriend even though he won't admit it and the other night he was at my house and I checked his text messages and they had both texted each other that they loved each other. I confronted him and he got mad at me for looking at his phone. He tells me he doesn't have a girlfriend but she calls him and texts him all the time. He has been staying at my house for the last 2 weeks and I love him being there. I feel like I can't love anyone else until I get over him. Even though he is doing this to me I still love him with all my herat and soul. When we broke up 8 months ago he was distraught and promised he would change, I didn't give him another chance and now that he has a taste of freedom and being with someone else he doesn't seem like he wants to change. You see, I have a good job and the other girl he is with is about 24 with 2 kids and no job, she doesn't get on him about anything and she hasn't seen him for 2 weeks. I don't know what to do because I know he still oves me too.

[nothemama8]

sadnconfused, right now he's havin his cake and eatin it too. He'll get tired of no money, no stability, stick to your guns DO YOU REALLY WANT THIS KIND OF MAN IN YOUR LIFE hun you deserve better
Angie

[sadnconfused]

I know everyone keeps telling me the same thing, but this is the only person I have ever loved. I went out with someone for the last 7 months and even though he would tell me he loved me and I would say it back I didn't mean it becasue toward the end of our relationship I started thinking about my ex and how sincere he was when I broke up with him. So, I though he would still be the same. But, I guess now that it has been so long he feels like he can be without me. I know he can change he has before, and I think that is why I keep sticking it out. Him and his "girlfriend" don't live together, he has been staying with friends, but now I live alone and he has been staying with me. I think he is getting used to it.

[Wants2Fly]

Is it love or is it pheromones + hormones (lust)?

[sadnconfused]

I believe it is love because he is always on my mind and he was the first person I ever loved. The whole time we were broke up and I was with someone else, that person would tell me they loved me and I would say it back, but I didn't mean it because I was thinking about my ex and the love that I had for my ex was not the same as the one for the guy I was seeing.
I broke up with my boyfriend of 8 months because my ex and I had said that we both wanted to try and get back together because we had been through a lot together and wanted to keep things going, so I got rid of my situation and he told me he didn't have a person to get rid of even though I knew different. I believed him because he really wasn't with her that much. He was always with his friends.

[BamaSurvivor]

My ex was also one of my abusers at one point. When we first started out, he was so great and awesome to me. We were engaged 6 months after being together because we found out I was pregnant but soon after he started doing drugs (at the time I was still clean) and staying out all the time. We got into a fight one night about it and I lost my child from him kicking me several times in the stomach while I was down. Me being stupid loving him, I stayed. He broke up with me because I was always 'nagging' on him. blah!

But last I heard he was off drugs, in an outpatient program and had his life straightened up. I know he's a good person because I seen it in him for a long time... But the drugs took over him, as it does most addicts.

Bama, this is a difficult situation. I find it hard to use drugs as an excuse for violence but then again, I'm a recovering addict myself so I can understand where this comes from. I think that it's completely normal to still have feelings for someone after this much time. I remember the first time Cupid hit me. We dated for a year and what an amazing year is was. I joined the military after high school and went away while she was finishing school (she was a year younger). The moment I left the relationship was doomed. Two love struck teens can't survive that kind of distance for that length of time no matter how hard they try. That was 8 years ago. I still love her very much. Sometimes I think a part of me is still in love. I've been in love twice since then, but no one will ever take her place in my heart. I think wants2fly offered some extremely good advise about comtacting him. As long as you're prepared for anything I'd have to say go for it.

ryan

[BamaSurvivor]

I think I'll take that advice too. Thanks y'all...

Seems like this is blast from the past week for me. Not only has he been on my mind a lot more lately, but an ex boyfriend I cared for left me an away message on AOL lastnight asking, "Wanna go swimming?"... See, when we were together we used to go swim in the river late at night and watch the stars and moon. He said he was moving to Colorado so he had to move. He never did, though nor did he try contacting me again until lastnight. I don't get it? Blah!