they always say "live in the present" . . .

they always say "live in the present" but what if the present is too painful, always?

You still do have the power to change things.

Usually all our distress comes from either worrying about the future or about the past. Being in the present is the only way that you have any choice about what you do and can make choices. Take care of only one moment at a time.

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That is a question I also have had many times. I don't know if this would help you, but I have listened to Eckhart Tolle on youtube many times talk about it. Even if you don't agree with the simplicity of what he is saying, I find he has a very soothing peaceful voice.
There is one about the "painbody" that seems to explain how to handle painful moments. Try it if you haven't.

If the present is too painful it means that something has to change.

It is as simple as that.

You need to figure out what needs to change, then change the things you can now and accept the things you cannot change now.

Life is trials and challenges.

You need to know what the purpose of life is.

We are here to learn and grow into wise, strong and loving beings.

Everything will be ok

oh my gosh, i do understand..i have been there and i am there now:

Nobody said that the "here and now" is going to be easy!

The whole point in being here now is so you can function without pain from the past and fear for the future.

To function in a healthy manner, one must make peace with their past and have no fear for the future.

When I am anxious and worried and replaying events in my mind, it is almost impossible to be in the present, it is extremely painful and I can become very agitated. I know though, that it does get better, which doesn't particularly help while I'm in it but it does get better again. I am learning to deal with these situations when they occur.

when the present is too hard to bear - i use grounding techniques, slow my breathing, touch a rough surface and try to really feel it through the panic and pain - that is what grounding is all about - as has been saidby the many wise people above if its the past or the future that is worrying you then being in the present is the thing to be -

There are many grounding techniques at the top of the PTSD forum that i have found useful - sometimes they work other times they dont and you just have to ride out the pain until it passes. easier said than done i know.

You do belong - you may not feel like it i know i didnit and often dont - thatshalf the problem thinking and feeling you dont beloong when if you keep taking one second at a time - then one minute at a time , you can do this .

We are all individuals - as perfect and beautiful as a snowflake

It's difficult to when your depressed or suffering from other forms of mental health but through practice, hard work and determination you can?

it IS very difficult to control one's thoughts when in high pain, or fatigue etc I know this personally. I also realize that it isn't the pain or fatigue that is causing the anxiety and worrisome thinking...it's my thinking that is causing the increased anxiety and fear!

To live in the here and now is very perfect living...and we being imperfect humans...well there will be a disconnect of some sort.

It does me no good to think about yesterday, or even last hour and what went "wrong" for instance...it's over, I did the best I could and that's that! And it does me no good to think about tomorrow or even next hour, as I have no idea what it brings ...whereas right now I DO know and I can focus on doing my best... even in high pain I do better if I stay in the here and now and manage it because if I begin to think beyond right now (what if it doesn't stop, what if it gets worse, how will I ...????) then I make it worse in the here and now. I surely don't wish to do that!

It didn't come easily, and I'm not perfect at it (which is why posting here at PC when in that cycle is a good thing to help break it) but I did learn how to take care of myself when in pain flares... I have mantras I use to remind myself, in fact, such as, "this is just tough right now, it won't stay this way", "I can do this" etc.

It's a learning process...but well worth the effort.

Then you break the "Present moment" into seconds, minutes and today passes in 24 hours. We always have a choice.

There is a song that goes something like this:
I beg your pardon,
I never promised you a rose garden.
Along with the sunshine,
There's gotta be a little rain sometimes.
When you take, you gotta give, so live and let live.

Be gentle with yourself.

i have a hard time living in the present too and i talk to my mom about it, she's very wise, but it is a hard thing to do for me.

here and now. what does that mean to you? with complex PTSD my dissassoiation and flashbacks are here and now. they say remember it not happening now, i like live it and tell me that. you need something to hold that makes you feel safe and here and now. my way not the most happening one so wont mention it. but a stuffed toy, blanket, book, photo. my grandpas coat helps. sitting in the dining room surrounded by gradmas and grandpas stuff helps. also water helps me. visualize a safe place make a collage of happy stuff. its yours put whatever u want. u dont need to share. less u share your safe place the safer it is.

good luck! Sending Blessings

I'm a more future oriented person. I would say to keep hope & faith alive. Not easy, I know. I've been discouraged & despaired of circumstances many a time. Without the belief that things will improve, I might never leave my bed.

I completely understand you SPG. My own experience is that takes a lot of practice to live my life in the present. It does not mean that I don't care about my past, or that I don't have goals for the future. What is mean is to be present at the moment, at the hour, focus in the present when all the racing thought come alone for example means for me to re direct my thoughts to only focus in one thing and only that one thing. Even if the thing I choose to focus is a paint in my wall. Till I come back to a place in my mind when being present is better. It is not easy to explain, but read about it girl, watch again the YouTube videos, talk about it here with us. Complain about it, I care about you no matter what, I am your online friend but that is not less caring than Real Life. This is very real too.

It is not easy, nothing is easy most of the time, but we can do it!

Big hugs

This too will pass

Is the present too painful physically or mentally?
If physically, your environment must change
If mentally, your perception can change - you have the power to choose the meaning you make out of life

To me, live in the present means to come into full awareness of the place you are in emotionally, physically and spiritually, at this present moment. It means, to the best of your ability, to understand how you came to be in this place, realistically, without assigning guilt or shame to yourself or others. It means to understand there are reasons for why you are presently in the place you are in at this moment. It means full honesty with yourself and your surroundings and to know and understand you have the strength you need to find your path to a more healthy place.

I think I agree with that description. Thanks. You know, "living in the present" is something so unnatural to me that I feel I barely understand what people mean by it. This helped me a bit. Thank you.

Plan for the future...live in the present.

The present can be broken down into 24 hours segments or even smaller. I am keenly aware of being in the present today...just enjoying a day off and giving myself a break from worry. I have never ending woes, but today I'm giving myself the break I need.

I've worked some on my family history-dad's side, cleaned up the apartment and am doing a few loads of laundry before popping a movie in...

So, there's my spin...lol...Cat

You can live your life as it is or you can change it. Sounds like you need to do something to change it.

i've made many efforts, nothing helped.

please do not make this out to be my fault.