[nowheretorun]

because forgiveness is so important, i am hoping to be forgiven for my past mistakes and wrongs and i in return am willing to forgive those who have wronged me.. i do this in order that we may all grow and benefit from our various trials and struggles as we go along our paths..

as i forgive i will remember that the true path of transcendence is not laced with forgiveness or matters of the human ego, but instead is a spiral staircase to the upper reaches of loving consciousness...

in my struggle to discover the truths of life for myself i have had to ask hard questions and face difficult answers...

moving on means letting go of past mistakes and choosing to live more healthfully in the future.... i can begin today by letting go of the past errors i have made in matters of ego and pride...

i choose to remember the struggles as lessons and my adversaries as fellow students...

i choose to remember the lessons of trust and safety for myself and others..

i choose to remember to be a stronger and kinder defender of the wounded...

by forgiving i hope to lay open the door for a healthier self and society....

in choosing to forgive the wrongs of the past i also make a vow to myself to remember the forces that gathered around me as i struggled for what i believed to be my righteous causes... and to have a deep respect for the far reaching effects of my defensive actions...

i will remember the anger and resentment of those who opposed me and i will recall their nature as one to be wary of in future times...

i will pray that all others will rise to the opportunity of healing and whole living in the name of Gods pure love and sacredness..

thank you God

[(JD)]

Beautiful. Blew me away (((NWTR)))

We can forgive in our hearts before we ever verbalize the words "I forgive."
We may or may not choose to express our forgiveness directly to the one who injured us,
depending on our sense of the situation between that person and ourselves.

Forgiving usually involves a process of inner healing. I believe it is entirely valid for
people to forgive for the sake of their own well-being and inner healing,
as well as for this reason: God forgives.

Inner healing is a giant step spiritually.
Forgiving is another.

(((for those who are able to forgive others)))) includes me on both counts and both ends of the spectrum.

[TaintedGoth1]

Forgiveness is never easy...but it is worth it!

All my life I have been the one who never forgave anyone for anything...big or little things. But I came to a point in my life where I was sick of the anger, hostility, and negativity. It created enemies where there otherwise wouldn't have been.

Slowly I am forgiving people and ya know it is a wonderful feeling!!!

[EJ711]

If we don't forgive others, we won't be forgiven.

((((((((((((((nowhertorun))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
"
moving on means letting go of past mistakes and choosing to live more healthfully in the future.... i can begin today by letting go of the past errors i have made in matters of ego and pride...

i choose to remember the struggles as lessons and my adversaries as fellow students...

i choose to remember the lessons of trust and safety for myself and others..

i choose to remember to be a stronger and kinder defender of the wounded...

by forgiving i hope to lay open the door for a healthier self and society...."

I so agree
sometimes letting go and forgiving is the hardest
Let hope we all can forgive and grow
just the sheep
muffy
(((((((((((everyone)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[BrnEyedGrl]

That was so lovely.
I have often found that forgiveness truly gives us peace along the way. And for many reasons even now in my life I realize that not forgiving has held me back from so many things, almost blocked me from experiencing what life has to offer.
And last, I think forgiveness generates a positive energy within our spirit that attracts more of the same to our lives everyday.

[nowheretorun]

((((muffy)))))
((((Sky)))))))
(((EJ))))))
(((((TG1)))))
(((BrnEyedGrl))))))

((((((((NTR))))))))

I was moved to read this. However, i cannot forgive the person who took away my innocence and my childhood. Therefore does this make me a bad person?

I continually strive to be a better person, forever learning lessons, becoming more aware of others' needs, trying to be less selfish. But i cannot forgive 'him'.

sorry

Jinny

[nowheretorun]

hi Jinnyann

imo none of us are bad people... because we are all learning and growing, it makes our experiences, even the hard ones, lessons to be learned from.. that is not in any way to discount the serious and tragic human reality associated with abuse or the wide range of sufferings that far too many of us are subjected to against our own will....

it is not for me or any other to say you are right or wrong to feel as you do imo... what you feel is what you feel and there is no way i can compare my own suffering to any others... for them it is real, and to them, it is suffering... i take them at their words....

you will know what is right for you to do... i believe the choices we all make enable us to soar or fall, or stay somewhere in between... only myself knows what action creates the healing feeling i seek.. what works for me doesnt work for all... we each are bound to our own choices imo Jinnyann... and some of those paths we travel were not of our own choosing at all, but i believe it is we ourselves who choose what to do with our experience.. whether to choose growth or stagnation is a choice we can make every day, every moment...

i hope i choose growth in all cases, but at times, my human limits are very apparent and i have to chew on the same lesson over and over til i finally look at it from the right angle.....

Jinnyann said:

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I was moved to read this. However, i cannot forgive the person who took away my innocence and my childhood. Therefore does this make me a bad person?

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[(JD)]

No guilt trips from me Don't put yourself in that place, of feeling inferior if you can't forgive. In it's truest sense, forgiveness is only an issue once someone has asked for it. Otherwise, the general term for it is "letting go" of the grudge and hatred and anger etc, for your own best interest.

[recluse1]

((((((((jinnyann)))))))) i understand what you are saying sweetie. Sometimes, in certain situations, just the thought can be a trigger for us. Especially in a situation like yours. It doesn't in anyway to me say that you are a bad person. It says to me you have been thru so much at the hands of another, they are the bad person. Not you.

I do like what Sky said about above. Letting go of the grudge, hatred and anger, etc... I personally think that being able to do that, to purge ourselves of that negativity is to take back the power and energy we used to hang onto them. It is these things that tire us down and weigh so heavily on us. Kind of like setting down the access baggage and lightening your personal load to carry. Then your arms will be open to receive something positive in it's place.

Does that make any sense at all said aloud? It made sense in my head, lol.

[MyBestKids2]

I constantly forgive those who wronged me in my mind.

I just can't forgive myself

[TaintedGoth1]

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jinnyann said:
i cannot forgive the person who took away my innocence and my childhood. Therefore does this make me a bad person?

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(((((jinnyann)))))

I don't blame you one bit, personally. I know there are people that I could never forgive...I forgave my first abuser because I truly believe it was a curious child thing. But the others are a different story...they were adults.

Not forgiving DOES NOT make you, me, or anyone else a bad person. You know that saying that there's only one person whose job it is to forgive someone don't you? I think about that...that it's God's job, not ours.

I think it's easier to forgive someone when you've completely come to terms with everything...maybe we haven't come to terms with certain people...I don't know. But what I do know is that forgiveness is not necessary for healing.

[Fuzzybear]

[BrnEyedGrl]

I agree with (Tainted) as well. I think it's great if you can forgive, because I do think it lifts a heavy weight off you.
But I also think there are times when it's just not possible and NO ONE is a bad person because they cannot forgive. I think abuse and murder are two of the biggest area's where forgiveness sometimes is just not an option and I totally get that.
In the end hopefully we can try and heal in what ever way works for us.

[KathyM]

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BrnEyedGrl said:
I think abuse and murder are two of the biggest area's where forgiveness sometimes is just not an option and I totally get that.

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((Jinnyann))

I agree with BrnEyedGrl when it comes to these two issues in particular. It's not something you can wipe clean and be done with. It's something that has to be worn and incorporated into your life somehow in a good way. Only you can decided when and how to accomplish this feat.

If you can't forgive this person, I don't blame you. In NO WAY does this make you a bad person.

You're in my prayers, and I hope you'll be able to find a way to let go of the anger you feel toward this person.

[recluse1]

((((((TaintedGoth, BrnEyedGirl)))))))

Thankyou all so much. I suppose, just lately I feel much better, happier, less angry and definitely less aggressive and hurt.

I have learned to pity this man rather than hate him, i have learned to 'cope' with certain triggers, not all just yet. My mother was one of my abusers and she is out of my life, she was given a choice to make amends, apologise, accept what she had done.

My life is so much better without her around. This makes me sad for the people who would love a mother, but she was just my incubator really, never protected me, was never there for me and never believed me when i told her about her lover abusing me. i pity her too. I pity her formissing out on her daughter, grandchildren (though i have never once stopped them from seeing her if they want to), her son in law etc ..... i can forgive my mum because i still love her and she is who she is, but right now i can't have her in my life.

Sorry if i am rambling here i'm trying to get it out as i'm thinking lol.

Basically no, I will never forgive him, just pity him. I cope by thinking i was a child and had no say in what he was doing, i feel no guilt any more like i used to. i know it was not my fault. Maybe one day i will forgive who knows. But i know i am not angry anymore, and that has given me sweet release ....

I feel open to breathe, love, care, share, but most of all i am free to live my life for the first time ever. This is after good therapy, good friends and fantastic family. i still havea way to go but i have the strength now.

thankyou for listening, Kerry/innyann xoxoxoxoxo

hugs to you all