Hi, thanks to anyone who responds.

First off, I know only a MH clinician can accurately diagnosis me, but I am not looking for a dx, I am just looking for opinions from those who have been dx as to whether or not this sounds like it could be schizoaffective. I can read the list of traits online from various sites, but I am only looking for personal experience here.

Every so often, I get this pretty much at the same time (like over the course of 2 or 3 days):

• severe agitation, irritation, and dysphoria
• inability to concentrate and focus
• crying spells and despair along with suicidal thoughts
• mild to moderate paranoia while not fully breaking from reality
• mild to moderate visual hallucinations while not fully breaking from reality
• mild to moderate delusions while not fully breaking from reality (the movement of the blinds start to 'have meaning")
• sexual hypomania
• flashbacks and emotional memories of trauma
• severe, psychotic-like panic attacks
• dissociation--'blank' mind, numbing, hours goes by, sitting and staring w/o blinking
• depersonalization and derealization
• voices (my own) that say I hate you, kill you, etc.
• psychotic-like dissociative experiences that feel like I am possessed (with no complete break from reality) that my therapist and I refer to as an introject
• constant memory problems
• eyes shimmer/jerking

*adding-I've had racing thoughts too, just not most recent episode

...feeling totally messed up and hopeless.

[insilence]

i had those about 10-15 years before full on daily voice attacks. stop drugs and drinking, ditch tv, get niacin and vitamin b and diet.

Originally Posted by insilence

i had those about 10-15 years before full on daily voice attacks. stop drugs and drinking, ditch tv, get niacin and vitamin b and diet.

So for you, it was progressive? What are the voice attacks like?

The diet is a good idea. I did get a multi vitamin B, but have trouble keeping up with any regimen due to the lack of motivation. I will try harder.

It seems like the symptoms became worse when I quit drinking about 10 years ago. I still drink on occasion, binge on occasion (not even once every 2 months and it will be 1 small bottle of wine). I don't like drugs.

I don't take anything but Strattera now (for depression) and don't want to take a mood stabilizer or antipsychotic. I just want to use benzos when I get these attacks. The 'attacks' are temporary, which makes them tolerable. The negative-like symptoms are the things that are hard to tolerate.

I haven't been to a psychiatrist in years and am deathly afraid of taking long-term drugs.

Is the onset of schizoaffective tend to appear during certain ages like the onset of schizophrenia?

[insilence]

Originally Posted by skies_

Is the onset of schizoaffective tend to appear during certain ages like the onset of schizophrenia?

In my 20s I would hear my dads voice yelling my name.
In my 30s I started hearing intelligent responses to my thoughts and acted as a rogue arrest team. They varied but I now realize its a series of relays that create the sounds and pain. You need to learn the process of quieting them

[Terabithia]

You have symptoms of many different diagnoses. I can't say it sounds like schizoaffective disorder because of this.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by skies_

I don't take anything but Strattera now (for depression)... I just want to use benzos when I get these attacks.

Which benzos exactly? Not that i know anything about this, but wikipedia under adverse effects of strattera listed a couple of drugs that have benzo in their makeup and said not to mix because it makes the adverse effect of the benzo worse (i think).

Originally Posted by hankster

Which benzos exactly? Not that i know anything about this, but wikipedia under adverse effects of strattera listed a couple of drugs that have benzo in their makeup and said not to mix because it makes the adverse effect of the benzo worse (i think).

Hmm. I've only taken Xanax and Ativan before. Except for in conjunction with certain medical procedures.

Honestly-i'm not even worried enough to look this up. I think benzos are pretty harmless in the doses I take, and fairly harmless all around when taken occasionally. I'd only need to take them once a month at the most. My internist knows I take both though. I think the electronic medical system automatically checks for contradictions (is that the word?).

Thanks for pointing this out. I probably will look them up. Just not motivated enough right now. I've never even had adverse effects from them so I can hardly imagine (driving, operating machinery?). You must be a detective.

[Penthes]

If you're schizoaffective, chances are you are experiencing a break in reality at some point. That's the insidious part of any schizophreniform disorder. Most people don't find out they're psychotic until they end up in the hospital.

That's a pretty important distinction. There has to be evidence of psychosis in order to make the dx of SZA. You cannot be aware of your psychosis during the psychosis, that's just how it is. Everything seems perfectly normal until you wake up in the psych ward. So you wouldn't be aware if there was a break in reality or not.

See what I'm saying?

[Victoria'smom]

I take an Anti psychotic as needed.
You cannot be aware of your psychosis during the psychosis, that's just how it is. Then what is it when you are aware but your having psychotic symptoms?

[insilence]

You may not believe this. But I used my "psychosis" to my advantage in figuring out how to push the sound/ear vibrations out and block them. There were times they had me scared and tricked. I will never see any form of schiz as a mental illness. Its an attack by technology trying to turn the mind against the body.

[worthit]

I am aware of my psychosis and the pdoc calls me atypical. I am schizoaffective.

[The_little_didgee]

Originally Posted by skies_

Every so often, I get this pretty much at the same time (like over the course of 2 or 3 days):

• severe agitation, irritation, and dysphoria
• inability to concentrate and focus
• crying spells and despair along with suicidal thoughts
• mild to moderate paranoia while not fully breaking from reality
• mild to moderate visual hallucinations while not fully breaking from reality
• mild to moderate delusions while not fully breaking from reality (the movement of the blinds start to 'have meaning")
• sexual hypomania
• flashbacks and emotional memories of trauma
• severe, psychotic-like panic attacks
• dissociation--'blank' mind, numbing, hours goes by, sitting and staring w/o blinking
• depersonalization and derealization
• voices (my own) that say I hate you, kill you, etc.
• psychotic-like dissociative experiences that feel like I am possessed (with no complete break from reality) that my therapist and I refer to as an introject
• constant memory problems
• eyes shimmer/jerking

*adding-I've had racing thoughts too, just not most recent episode

...feeling totally messed up and hopeless.

All your symptoms can be from different disorders. A lot of them suggest PTSD, dissociation and a mood disorder.

How long do the symptoms last? Do you know what triggers them?

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

You cannot be aware of your psychosis during the psychosis, that's just how it is. Then what is it when you are aware but your having psychotic symptoms?

It is possible to have awareness especially in the early stages of the illness and even after the psychosis has receded.

[samelaine]

Does anyone know the actual symptoms of schizoeffective disorder to compare to these? I think that would be helpful. Especially for me

[icinggurl]

I have the same diagnosis as you do. Your symptoms do have aspects of some other disorders, but I don't think that's unusual for anyone here. These diagnosis kinda overlap each other and that's pretty 'normal'. My own opinion is, it sounds like some mania-type symptoms and PTSD along with schizoaffecive. My disorder progressed very slowly. My first severe depression when I was 14 ended up making me think I could move things with my mind and I thought I could hear Satan speaking to me in my head. I didn't have another psychotic episode until I was 36. That was me screaming night and day, violence, not eating or sleeping, abusing drugs and alcohol so I could sleep and I heard I danced a lot (that shocked me to find out!). I couldn't stop moving and pacing and anything I touched was either thrown or broken. I then started hearing things like white noise and I'd look for which tv was on and there wasn't one on. I heard church bells without living near a church. Then my arms started looking longer than I knew they were and the floor looked further away. No more psychosis until this year (i'm 43 now) and I hear this stupid musical rhythm all the time.

I hate to say this because I know you don't want to take these meds, but the only thing that helped me was antipsychotics, specifically Seroquel. There are a ton of varieties out there so don't worry that you'll just sit in a corner and drool. I think that's it's dangerous for people to make their own choices when it comes to which meds they will or won't take. We have every right to make our own decisions, but sometimes we aren't the best judge as to what will help our symptoms. We just don't have the training to know what's best and when we are at our worst, we don't make good choices either. At least that's my own take on things. I hope this doesn't offend or anything! I'm only trying to offer some feedback. Hang in there - you aren't alone!

Originally Posted by insilence

i had those about 10-15 years before full on daily voice attacks. stop drugs and drinking, ditch tv, get niacin and vitamin b and diet.

i agree with this statement. i have pretty much a lot of the symptoms you are expirencing. i noticed when you remove tv, change diet and drop the drugs and alcohol (and cigarettes) things are amazingly better. you can talk yourself back into reality. i haven't been on medication in 5 years. and i am coping fine. although, i do have manic episodes and do lots of crying, so... idk if that is "coping". but it works for me. i hated myself on medication and ...felt as though they were trying to kill me. yeah, so i gave up meds. but! i take lots of vitamins and make sure my mind is in the right place. and i walk alot around my neighborhood. oh, and i love the library. haha. anyway, bye.

[kenny66]

These symptoms relate to a number of conditions. I am schizoaffective and relate to some of them but other MI conditions will too.

The only thing I can say is that it took a while to get a SchizoA diagnosis after being originally diagnosed with Schizophrenia.

This was after a lot of observation and assessment with a psych. So its not a quick DX. My SchA episodes put me in hospital a number of times. I was not aware of any of the psychotic events as they were happening.

You seem to have excellent insight into your symptoms, which is often not the case for people with this disorder.

You should pursue your therapy to try and determine if you fit into the DX for Schizoaffective Disorder or any other disorder for that matter. Hopefully not.

[kenny66]

I agree-the antipsychotics and mood stabilisers treatment, have really helped me out.
I take lamictal, lithium, seroquel and saphris and this combo works great for me. It doesn't knock me about at all and I have got over any drowsiness from it. If you don't want to take meds, that of course is your decision.
Kenny

[worthit]

Kenny
I also am aware of symptoms and my pdoc calls this atypical.

[kenny66]

thanks worthit

[lucami]

very so often, I get this pretty much at the same time (like over the course of 2 or 3 days):
severe agitation, irritation, and dysphoria
inability to concentrate and focus
crying spells and despair along with suicidal thoughts
mild to moderate paranoia while not fully breaking from reality
mild to moderate visual hallucinations while not fully breaking from reality
mild to moderate delusions while not fully breaking from reality (the movement of the blinds start to 'have meaning")
sexual hypomania
flashbacks and emotional memories of trauma
severe, psychotic-like panic attacks
dissociation--'blank' mind, numbing, hours goes by, sitting and staring w/o blinking
depersonalization and derealization
voices (my own) that say I hate you, kill you, etc.
psychotic-like dissociative experiences that feel like I am possessed (with no complete break from reality) that my therapist and I refer to as an introject
constant memory problems
eyes shimmer/jerking
*adding-I've had racing thoughts too, just not most recent episode

...feeling totally messed up and hopeless.

I have same stuff + 'own voice' in my head which often adds 'shatan' on the end of my own thoughts, or got thoughts like 'sell soul to shatan' etc.... sometimes I feel like my consciousness is turned off but I talk with people, doing stuff, can tell how I feel, like half of my mind would be working, half not... and sometimes I don't want to eat nothing, talk with no one don't know why..
is there a possibility that I may be wrong diagnosed and be schozoaffective instead of having GAD with agoraphobia?...