how do i get out of the mental health system?

What life would you have, if you could have anything?

Oh by the way . . . I used your exploding burrito line today. It got a lot of laughs! You really are great with words, it's impressive.

Wow, that sounds like a lot to deal with. Do you find it really difficult when your father is so successful?


Do you feel good? Bad? Just plain out-of-it? Those memories must be really tough, even more so because you say they can't be real.

well...i wanted to goto university and become a filmmaker. yea oh well now.

i seem to make people laugh pretty easy. idk why.

yea...yea i do actually.

i feel out of it. i dont understand these images. ive never known where to places images that come into my head like that. ive had them for many years ...images ..just in my head. i still sort of think of most of them as premonitions. ive had images of other countries and famous people ive met that used to live. ive never really talked about it before.

its all very confusing. im scared of them. i mean all these kinds of images. i started looking at past lives and such. i think im onto a theory that might explain these sort of psychic/supernatural images that deal with premonitions/past lives. whichever someone looks at it. religious/nonreligious. i believe both tie together anyway. only difference is one includes religion the other doesnt. they are alike. both deal with ghosts/visions/otherworldly beings/etc.

i believe ill find and place a lasting theory that will make me known with that topic.. forgive me as i feel too paranoid to go into detail. just the fear of people watching. if people can watch you in reality they can watch you online.

i just gotta say. i heard a family of ..idk what..talking to me. two young boys and man and a woman one day a month ago or two. it just doesnt add up to voices. and honestly im more inclined to believe my "voices" are me receiving another dimension of time or perhaps demonic activity than an illness. dont try to tell me otherwise. my beliefs on it are not on cue with mainstream society so you dont know the details of what i speak personally. thats fine. its too much to go into.

but it was a toddler boy saying "wheres grandpa?" and the dad said "hes gone". i looked around. i was in the bathroom. the mom said "dont listen to her" and the dad started laughing like...hysterically/demonically.

i have memories of meeting world leaders and all from WWII and glimpses of fighting in like the 17th century. etc. amongst other non-political stuff.

I don't think you have to go to college to make films. I kind of liked the hawk in your video the other day. But then I really love birds. We have hawks like that one here too.

Why oh well now? I know you've said before that you don't want to go to uni. Do you still want to be a filmmaker?

It's because you're great with words and you have very insightful observations! Maybe you should be a commedienne! I'd come to watch you. Or you could write funny books or make funny films.

I remember you saying once you like British TV. Do you know about someone called Stephen Fry? He has (what he calls) manic depression/bipolar and he's a comedian and documentary presenter/filmmaker. He made a great career in spite of serious mental distress and even some time in jail.
His shows include QI (one of my all-time favourites), A Bit of Fry and Laurie (Laurie being Hugh Laurie, aka Dr. House to you Yanks ) and his documentary Fry in America. I think you can find them all on youtube.



I can't even imagine. You are so strong to deal with all of that and still be funny and nice to talk to. Do you like talking about it? Does it help? Do you want to talk? Obviously you can talk here if you want.

Do you have any kind of religious faith? Quite a few people end up seeing their psychotic experiences as part of a religious/spiritual awakening. Does your theory give you comfort?

I imagine Costello can give you all kinds of links to these stories on Madness Radio, if you're interested. (Costello is the Queen of MR links!)

I can't think of anything you've done to forgive, hun. Share whatever you'd like, in your own time, k?

I met a lady once who said something to this effect about my voices/experiences. She said that it was people trying to communicate with me through channels that were left open at my birth, and that the channels could be closed if I tried. I believe you if that's what you say it is I think there's a lot more to life than just what science says could happen. (Also I imagine that one day, phsyics will get to the point where it says this could happen! Ha! Our universe is so weird.)
Anyway if you want to tell me more about it, or if you want to know more about what that lady said to me and how she said I could fix it, just ask.

Sounds like you're a bit of a history buff?

yea...i figure ill be and underground subversive filmmaker. im into experimental film and symbolic messages/images.

talking helps me destress sometimes.

yea..i do actually.
im really just nondenominational christian. i do lean towards specific ones a bit in beliefs. i do actually see them more as a religious awakening than an illness. my theory would give me comfort once its in the mainstream. i quite believe in it to be true for me and many other people.

[QUOTE=fishsandwich;2365474]
well to keep it short real quick. i believe in a spiritual time matrix. like a matrix. not the movie but a another dimension running alongside a side dimension outside this universe. idk how to explain. but also possibly having to do with spirituality and how religions have come to be. like how people have spiritual contact and visions. say if people are in another dimension. but what if theres no people or not just people but also the deceased and what not and spiritual entities. which technically wouldnt be ghosts but just contact on another dimension running along side ours. like that. yea.

oh wow.
your really quick.
yea i am actually.

I'm already in the queue for tickets to your first film

I know you've said you don't want talk therapy before, so just keep talking here, k?

Yeah I remember you quoting Revelations. That's a pretty . . . intense book, if may say so. I like Paul's Epistles to the Corinthians myself, and also the Book of Luke. I'm a bit of a softie, you see
I think this is my favourite verse:
"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." (1 Corinthians 10:13)


I know you think it's a really bizarre idea, but I don't think so. It sounds like the gist of the beliefs of a lot of faiths. Do you ever read about comparative religion?

Do you have any particular eras that you like to learn about? Sounds like the World Wars and the late medieval period . . . am I right? Anything else?

im not sure i remember saying its bizarre. i believe it.

and no i havent.

not war really. just maybe wwII for certain reasons. im kinda obssessed with the victorian era and the 1900s to the 1970s. i mean... right down to the way i dress.

--

i know i prob do but i try not to go deep into what i believe. i realize the forum im on. i try to respect people. and people may try to run me out of my beliefs of what i think is going in my life or just my life beliefs but i know what i believe. i kinda see it as it just happens to coincide with the american health systems belief of mental disorder in humans. this is another reason why i dont goto psychs a lot. they want to say im not right about this and like..like its not true or that im not being watched or followed. but i have to say i believe what i believe and i know what i know.

im at odds with this dx.

ANYWAY
is there a way i can be on no meds and change nothing and live ok.

well i mean..idk i guess not since i cant right now.

im just obsessed with this woman...

Sorry for disappearing Newtus. It's like, 2am here now and I fell asleep at my desk doing my readings and I'm just off to bed for real now.

I don't know what the way out is, but there has to be a way if that's what you want. When I set out to get off meds people hadn't been telling me I was ill for nearly as long as they've been telling you, but there was a way. There always has to be a way. Just keep thinking about that and trying new ways to cope and set your life forward, k?

another question.

has anyone known anyone that partakes in social stuff sometimes for a short while and then drops off the face of the earth so to speak?

I don't understand the question.

like say someone joins a community group then doesnt come one day. never comes back. then they join another social group then just never comes back. anyone known anyone like that? like it repeats.

Are you talking about groups in real life or on the Internet? I guess it doesn't matter, because I've never known anyone like that either in real life or the Internet.

like in reality. IRL. anyway i was jw

my friends a married couple that I have known since 1979 say I do that to them, that I have done that several times, then all of a sudden I turn up again. I was in a writers group one time where the new leaders started asking for a "commitment" from the members. I was showing up every week for years before that, but once they started asking, it started bugging me. groups should just be drop in as you please, I thought. if you want a commitment from somebody, freakin get married.

I have been known to do this. Why are you curious about it?

i do it.
i just dont get into social activities much.
but when i do...yea.

I don't know if it's so-called normal behavior, but I do it sometimes. In part because I sometimes get really really excited about something, but then my initial enthusiasm wanes. Plus, I always consider myself expendable and replaceable, so it doesn't seem harmful to cease doing something or being somewhere.

14 hrs.
til i have to goto that appt.
and its not even the doctor one yet
f**k. you know.
im f**king stressed out.

By this time tomorrow it will be behind you.