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  #26  
Old Dec 24, 2013, 11:00 AM
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Well I'm stuck in Chicago for the holidays...I always go visit my parents but due to weather and them being sick I'm not able to go this year. Unfortunately I already took all the time off work etc...I only have canned/frozen food in the house and I don't want to go to the store to fight the holiday crowds. Luckily I have a frozen banana cream pie so at least dessert will be special. On the plus side I'm very thankful everyone is safe and now I have been off he meds for two months which makes me very happy. Hope you all have a great holiday!
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  #27  
Old Dec 24, 2013, 01:02 PM
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Feel confused
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  #28  
Old Dec 24, 2013, 02:05 PM
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Yay good news I'm seeing hobbit with a friend tomorrow and going over to her place for spiral ham! Christmas is back on! I also got out my limited decorations and mini tree so things are more festive.
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  #29  
Old Dec 24, 2013, 02:36 PM
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What is confusing you KUREHA?
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  #30  
Old Dec 24, 2013, 02:37 PM
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bad christmas doped up on meds. very bad
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  #31  
Old Dec 24, 2013, 06:43 PM
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am i the only one tht my suicide attempts still haunt me almost daily?

like i keep gettigg visuals of me trying to jump off overpass onto a highway and stuff and my hospitalizations haunt me daily.
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  #32  
Old Dec 24, 2013, 07:43 PM
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I am sorry about that Newtus. I still have things that haunt me as well. I have seen visions of myself hurting or killing suicide or other versions of self harm. Right now the one that keeps playing over and over in my head is cutting crosses into my skin to ward off the demons. I have a friend that jumped over the overpass into the highway below and nearly killed himself. Please don't do it. If you think you are going to act on these thoughts, please talk to a pdoc immediately ( might be hard because of the holidays).

As for me its tough, real hard. I am crying daily, but what's weird is that with depression you usually don't eat and I'm overeating. I have no energy. The stress is immense. First of all, my grandpa is having a hard time, meaning his time might be up soon. He can't breathe and has congestive heart failure. He refuses meds or doctors to treat it. He's had it for awhile though. He has had several times that he nearly died and he still made it. I know I told you all that I am moving so that's still happening. My mom is not getting better from her bronchitis and I'm afraid if it last much longer it will turn into pneumonia. My dad is going in for surgery on January 15th. The last surgery was complete hell. It was on his hip, and he dislocated it a few times. Now they have to operate on it again due to the first surgery failure. Now my mom needs another back surgery which 100% of them became severely infected with near death experience. Oh yeah, house repairs. I think I told you this as well but will cost many thousands of dollars. My brother's SSI case is taking way too long because of this dumb judge that can't figure out things. I keep hearing how the stock (as I predicted) hits records everyday. It irritates me to no end. My brother also needs surgery and there is a possibility that I need surgery as well. It would be my first real surgery. I hear things nearly everyday. I see the demons constantly. Thoughts racing through my head. The hells that awaits my family. What is bothering me now is that i have a new doctor appointment on Friday ( I predict a phone call will cancel it) and I researched this doctor and she's rated so low that some people gave her -100 stars. First of all the place is closed on Friday. Then the note she gave me with the appointment time said "Friday December 27th, 2014 1:45 AM" or something like that. I have a feeling that she's careless. And that is who is going to be treating me????? I won't go more into what's happening now. My anxiety is high though.
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  #33  
Old Dec 24, 2013, 10:45 PM
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I also need several surgeries, but I don't have the money for them either. I have endometriosis and impacted wisdom teeth which both cause me a lot of pain. I'm hoping that I can get a good career and be able to afford these surgeries in a couple of years. I'm sorry your family is suffering so much, no one deserves to suffer from lack of proper medical care.
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  #34  
Old Dec 24, 2013, 11:00 PM
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FireBird

I also need several surgeries, but I don't have the money for them either. I have endometriosis and impacted wisdom teeth which both cause me a lot of pain. I'm hoping that I can get a good career and be able to afford these surgeries in a couple of years. I'm sorry your family is suffering so much, no one deserves to suffer from lack of proper medical care.
For the wisdom teeth you can get that done very cheaply at a dental school...it's a serious enough operation they will give you an experienced doctor and just let the students watch for the most part...this was very popular where I went to college...mine weren't impacted or I would have done it.
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  #35  
Old Dec 24, 2013, 11:46 PM
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For the wisdom teeth you can get that done very cheaply at a dental school...it's a serious enough operation they will give you an experienced doctor and just let the students watch for the most part...this was very popular where I went to college...mine weren't impacted or I would have done it.
That sounds like a very good idea. I will have to locate a dental school nearby and hope it won't be too expensive.
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  #36  
Old Dec 25, 2013, 12:02 AM
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Happy Christmas everyone and happy holidays!
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  #37  
Old Dec 25, 2013, 12:44 AM
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Merry Christmas to my favorite schizo's, psychotic's, and family/friends.
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  #38  
Old Dec 25, 2013, 01:11 AM
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Merry Christmas everyone!
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  #39  
Old Dec 25, 2013, 07:31 AM
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Merry Christmas everyone.

Woke up at 4:30 with hospital flashbacks and then someone set off fire works on the plus side I'm still alive
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  #40  
Old Dec 25, 2013, 10:39 AM
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merry christmas everyone and a happy new year. hope things are a bit better for everyone for the holidays!
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  #41  
Old Dec 25, 2013, 11:19 AM
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Why does facebook screw up when I post gang stalking stuff.

I need an EKG like desperately.
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  #42  
Old Dec 25, 2013, 11:46 AM
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I need an EKG like desperately.
Why do you need an EKG?
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  #43  
Old Dec 25, 2013, 12:13 PM
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Merry Christmas everyone! And have a happy new year. I pray 2014 is better than 2013. This year was horrible in every single way.
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  #44  
Old Dec 25, 2013, 12:50 PM
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I need the EKG to check what they are doing to my body. I figured that would be the best thing I'll call the NHS helpline tomorrow.
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  #45  
Old Dec 25, 2013, 02:21 PM
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Merry Christmas
Hope you all have a great day
The year is almost over and then we can start thinking of new ways to invent ourselves
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  #46  
Old Dec 25, 2013, 05:35 PM
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I hope that you all are having a great day. Christmas time is very, very depressing for me. I'm spending the day in bed in front of the television. Watching junk on television trying to keep my mind off of how miserable I feel. I so hate feeling so depressed! I wish I wish I could just flip a switch in my brain and change how I think and feel. Today is a huge struggle for me and as a result I've had some very unhealthy thoughts. I just keep telling myself that this will pass and that I have to hang on for my kids and for Daisy. I must admit I am getting very sick and tired of how my life is. I pray for a change.
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  #47  
Old Dec 25, 2013, 05:51 PM
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Merry Xmas everyone!
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  #48  
Old Dec 25, 2013, 05:57 PM
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I need the EKG to check what they are doing to my body. I figured that would be the best thing I'll call the NHS helpline tomorrow.
Isn't an EKG for your heart? And I think an EEG is for your brain. I'm not sure what it's called for a whole body scan, if they even do a whole body scan. Perhaps you can get a whole body scan with an MRI or CAT scan? I'm not sure.
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  #49  
Old Dec 25, 2013, 06:10 PM
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I'd prefer a whole body scan to see what they are doing, but they are more likely do to an EKG and I thought that something would at least show, my heart rate is usually higher than it should be.
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  #50  
Old Dec 25, 2013, 06:32 PM
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Merry Christmas!
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File Type: jpg Christmas Wish.jpg (91.1 KB, 6 views)
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