Roll Call 17

she wanted to put me in hospital TODAY and i kept saying "im not going to hospital. im not going to hospital. im not going to hospital". and she said "well can you sign a contract?" and i said "im not signing anything". and she said "well can you promise me you wont hurt yourself?" and i just said yea. and i shoook her hand and all that stuff.

and we kinda talked back and forth about my meds and it was just idk.............

I think between losing my son and being hospitalized against my will would put me over the edge.
My God! Let her grieve wih her daughter! Could this story really be this cut and dry?

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What happened newtus...

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Nevermind

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(((hugs)))

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It sounds like she's concern about your safety. At least she didn't MAKE you go to the hospital or MAKE you sign a "contract".

My understanding is she made some off-hand comment that she would just kill herself if anything happened to her kids and this was taken out of context when something actually happened to her son--so yeah I still haven't heard the full story of family involvement...

But yeah I always think if I went to trial---we have a 14 day limit for going to trial here---the problem is the pdoc is considered an expert witness so usually the judge won't overturn that without someone equally qualified for the defense which how are you going to get a pdoc to testify in 14 days especially if it was yours that put you in there---so mostly these things go to trial and you get 95-100% for the hospital. In this case it was so obvious that the judge just went against convention and just let her go...

yea im just so afraid to goto the hospital. i told her if i HAVE to goto one which one i wanna goto. but that was all JUST IN CASE.

WELLL...im not AFRAID of the hospital anymore. im afraid of the reprecussions of it. 1. the doc may up my meds again. etc etc etc. stuff like that.

Did you say you were suicidal? I mean they kind of have to act on that...

idk what im saying
i AM afraid of the hospital AND the reprecussions of it.

yes i did. i feel like i HAVE to be honest i feel like when im suicidal because i WILL act on it. but i told her i didnt want to goto the hospital.

I'm really surprised she didn't force you to go---that's pretty much standard...if you really will act on it, you should go to protect yourself unless you can put some sort of plan in place that will keep you from doing it--ie make your dad disarm the guns and give him your Xanax to lock up until bedtime when you get one....

If you really want to stay home and want to protect yourself you need to make it a safe environment for that...

something just hit me.

now that i think about it. im actually really depressed and feel like acting on it. i almost need to be in the hospital . i need a total med change. i think i need an antidepressant and a small amount of haldol and an antianxiety pill. im having second thoughts about changing doctors because i like my therapist and im getting the attention i finally deserve. im just not being listened to.

Pack a bag call your therapist and go in....seriously.

I agree with this. If you think you're going to act you ahve to make the environment safer.

I understand you're afraid of the hospital. But, you also need to keep yourself safe one way or another. I know that seems weird when you're suicidal, but it's true. You're keeping yourself safe for when the suicidal thoughts go away again, which they will.

If you need it, go. I know you're scared, but you deserve help. Stay safe.

An honest question.
If they force you or u voluntarily go into hospital, is it common for them to change your meds because they obviously are not working or else you would not be there?

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9 hours of sleep last night. What a relief!

I took 50 mg of 5htp, 800 mg of magnesium glutamate, 2 cups of chamomile tea, and 2 cups of Sleepy Time Extra tea before bed. Maybe something helped? Maybe a coincidence?

At any rate I slept!

This is an email I received from my U.S. Senator Robert Menendez regarding the phasing out of antidepressants and antipsychotics under Medicare Part D prescriptions which I believe will also influence Medicaid and private insurers to possibly follow suite.

Dear Mr. XXXX:

Thank you for contacting me to express your concerns about a proposed rule from the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) regarding "protected classes" of drugs under Medicare Part D. Your opinion is very important to me, and I appreciate the opportunity to respond to you on this important issue.

When Medicare Part D became law in 2003, Congress recognized that certain classes of drugs should receive certain protections, so that beneficiaries would have access to all available medications. As you know, on January 6, 2014, CMS announced a proposed rule that would, beginning in 2015, eliminate protections for Medicare Part D beneficiaries for antidepressants and immunosuppressants, and eliminate these same protections for anti-psychotic drugs beginning in 2016. While CMS has cited potential cost savings as a reason for proposing these changes, I believe that this will reduce access to needed medication and lead to increased health care costs overall.

I share your concerns about CMS's proposal and the impact it would have on beneficiaries which is why, on February 5, 2014, I joined every other member of the Senate Finance Committee in sending a letter to CMS Administrator Marilyn Tavenner opposing this proposed rule. This overwhelming bipartisan letter will hopefully demonstrate to CMS that eroding or eliminating this critical beneficiary protection is unacceptable. Thank you again for sharing your views and please know that I will keep them in mind as I continue monitoring this very important issue.

Again, thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. Please do not hesitate to contact me if I can be of further assistance. I invite you to visit my website (Home | Robert Menendez-US Senator for New Jersey) to learn more about how I am standing up for New Jersey families in the United States Senate.

Did you have to get up to pee with all that tea you drank?

That's fantastic! I'm so glad you did this

Nope. Surprisingly, I was a bit dehydrated when I woke up.

He's right about that. Penny wise and pound foolish.

The price of antipsychotics is way too high. It can't be justified. Congress needs to change the law to allow Medicaid and Medicare to negotiation prices with drug companies. Their hands are tied, so the drug companies can charge whatever they want.

Went to see my Mum in hospital today. She's such a mess She can barely follow a conversation, keeps falling when out of bed, and has to drink from a baby's sippy cup because her tremor is so bad. According to her notes, she has brain damage from the liver problem. I'm hoping it's reversible, but they still haven't found the cause of the liver problem so time is running out

We have a meeting with the Consultant on Mon so I'm trying to distract myself from the anxiety that she's going to die or be permanently brain damaged until then. The thought that I might never have a proper conversation like we used to have with her again is very upsetting. As is the guilt about how cross I've been with her lately

*Willow*

Newtus, if you're around today I hope you're doing okay.