Roll Call 17

the only small thing i have trouble with is their accent.

my current pdoc has qualifications from new york i think thats cool.

Lol, I have an Indian doctor. Not sure how I feel about her right now because she wont call in my psych medication to the pharmacy so I can refill my prescription before I see her on the 20th. I'm currently out of meds and it's effecting me right now. Also been debating on weather or not to go to netcare (its like a free mental health ER in my area). I've been feeling like **** lately. Been thinking about suicide and SIing. However I told my mom that being off my meds is effecting me and she gives out a big sigh like she's saying "Oh go not this again". She thinks I'm doing this for attention. Plus I don't like going to netcare because when they put me in their little psych unit for those who have no insurance I don't think they believed me when I was having hallucinations. They just labeled me as "borderline personality disorder" due to self injury, medicated me with a low does of antidepressants, and sent me on my way. Every hospital I've been in believed me about my hallucinations but they don't seem to. Screw them.

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad, Erti. I know, a lot of people think only those with BPD have SI problems, which isn't true. I'm sorry your mom thinks your doing it for attention. I hate being accused of that, which is why I tend to keep stuff to myself.

Also, Gr3tta, if you're here I hope you're doing better today.

She won't refill your meds?---is she not the prescribing doctor or something, even so you can't just stop these things cold turkey she should know that---I'm sorry this is happening to you its totally unfair.

I've been having to reschedule appointments and each time I do it's like I have to wait 2 months in order to see her. The pharmacy sends a fax to the office that I need refills on my medication and she hasn't responded to it. I guess it's her way of saying "don't cancel my appointments". It's not like I can get a hold of her if I call. I'm guessing she has insane amount of clients due to how long I have to wait to see her. It's crazy.

erti that what happened to me. thats what i was saying about my xanax awhile back. he wouldnt call in my meds to get them refilled. actually the nurse wouldnt. and i cant get hold of them.

But does she have an answering machine or something you can call because you really just can't go off meds like APs ADs or even benzos without a taper first...I mean its just crazy----can you find another doc? I mean most of mine have wait times of at least a month to reschedule but the give you plenty of meds to get by and return calls between appointments and stuff.

I don't know. I'm afraid to switch doctors because the meds that I'm on are working for me and I don't want to change them.

A new doctor should be able to keep you on the same meds if you just explain that you are stable when you are on them I don't see why they would change it...

I guess I'm also afraid that the new doctor wont believe me when I tell them I have hallucinations just like netcare does. I mean granted the doctors I have had believed me but it's a fear of mine.

i understand your fears Erti. do what you have to do

Yeah I guess there are a lot of bad docs out there I've just been really lucky with mine and all so I feel like you guys are putting up with a lot of crap...

we are SometimesP. i believe theres more bad psychs than good out there. or ones that are just not good. and theres less good psychiatry in general

no, I cried.
I would never intentionally harm someone with what I say, Im sure same as you but typing does not show emotion and sometimes there are misunderstandings. Sometimes it is just ignorance in which i would love for someone to correct me nicely or explain so I can understand better.
And people have different personalities so.......

Thanks for this conversation.
Sometimes Bean is so straight forward when telling me how she is feeling that I question her intentions.
This shows that I am doing the right thing by taking what she says seriously even if it seems ridiculous or Im just tired of hearing it.
***Note to self: Have patience with my daughter. Even when I have no patience to give at the moment. And listen to what she is saying.

Yeah, it would be nice if they correct you nicely. It's not like you don't have feelings too. Then again my ex boyfriend said this, "its just someone on the internet. try not to take it personally. a lot of people are gonna have a superior complex when posting anonymously". Didn't make me feel better though. Yeah, you never intentionally want to hurt someone so you feel bad.

I know it's hard because it's often an invisible problem to everyone else. I think you're a pretty good mom.

It's hard for me to reach out. I pretty much know I'm going to be told I'm overreacting, making it up, trying to get attention, being manipulatives, the list goes on and one. It's often even hard for me to say much about my problems here because of it.

punkybrewster6k just hugged herself in her note to self

Sometimes we just need to give ourselves hugs to make ourselves feel better.

Wait how do you do that? My hug button is always disabled in my own comments...

Oh never mind. note to self:

No, she put a at the end of her note.

I thought it was just a general hug to everyone. Haha.

Lol she was talking about the smiley.

that was funny SometimesP

i worry that this celexa will put weight on me. ive been reading reviews that it does.