Roll Call 18

how is everyones morning?

Mine's going great so far. I'm going downtown this morning to get out of the house for awhile.

that sounds great! what do you have planned?

Just to go walk around and hang out. Nothing special planned except some people watching. Though I might go to some of the shops since I have a bit of money(note to self: do NOT spend it all on useless crap you can't afford anyway, just don't do it). I need a relaxing day.

i hope you have fun atypical. enjoy the day. i hope its nice out. it was 80 here yesterday but 30 today. have fun!

It's kind of cloudy here but it's not super cold so that's nice. I'm going to enjoy the weather while I can, it's going to get cold here again soon. Blah.

Snow guys came by at 6am this morning then again at 8...I really wanted to sleep in...especially since I accidentally left me alarm on yesterday....

I hope you are feeling better this morning Gr3tta.

i have so much energy this morning its kinda perturbing. meaning it makes me anxious. my nerves are actually itchy.

Gaaaaa....
woke up with my head all stuffy.
I have been making myself get out of the house and around people because it is so easy to isolate like I have been doing all winter and then it is hard to talk with humans. So I go out and what happens?
I get germs! lol. I am getting sick.
It is not quite full on sick so I might go and try to sing and play guitar at a coffee house that is only open once a month.
I am grateful to have 2 people in my life to make me go do things out of the house instead of staying isolated here.
They are making me go places! I didnt want to but when I get out I do feel better.

I hate when that happens....

I can't watch the news or really read newspapers cos they blame me for the bad things that happen, and/or I feel guilty for feeling sorry for myself when others have it so much worse.

I'm sorry you're feeling so paranoid I have people watching me too. I know why, but I can't let on that I know or things could get worse. I don't know who exactly it is though as there's no one person always around. They probably rotate people so you don't get suspicious. It could be anyone and cameras are so tiny these days that it could be anything innocuous on them :/

I'm sorry that you feel that you can't post here Gr3tta My PM is always open, if you want. Try to concentrate on breathing into your stomach (like Sometimes was saying a few pages back) as that will slow down your resp and heart rates, and gives your brain something to focus on

I'll keep my fingers crossed that it all works out for you Medicalfox

Hope you have/had a lovely time I saved so much money that month I stayed in bed because I wasn't out buying drinks and snacks and random bits! Lol

Hope you feel better soon Punky!

I read recently that taking cold/flu meds with paracetamol actually increases the chance you will infect others!! Paracetamol decreases your temp (which your body uses to kill the bugs) and so they found increased viral loads in coughs and sneezes. Personally I never use the stuff, but I doubt it would stop most people anyway. I told my friend about it and she said that as long as the stuff made her feel better, she didn't care how many others she infected! Lol

As it's Sunday, I went with my family to visit my grandfather. I showed him my elephant as I'd previously told him of my plans. He used to be a bit of a tinkerer before his dementia, and enjoys thinking of new uses and adaptations for everyday things. He used to always be tinkering and inventing little bits and bobs (nothing worth patenting, unfortunately! Lol) to reuse or fix something. Then we went out for lunch. I had a massive pizza that I couldn't finish, and am absolutely stuffed now.

I've got the psychologist appt on Tuesday morning, so I've been thinking of what I want to work on. I want to start with generic things at first (like self esteem) until I figure out if he's working with the hospital/Govt. And I don't want to talk about symptoms (like voices or paranoia) because the hospital doesn't believe they exist and I don't want to get into some kind of argument over it or talk about them to try and 'prove' they exist cos they'll just think I'm malingering. So I was thinking about focusing on anxiety in specific situations eg anxiety about being naked instead of paranoia that there are hidden cameras...I'm hoping that'll work...

And I'm trying to pluck up the courage to find out what his plans are ie what type of therapy he's going to try (and more importantly why) and how long he thinks it will take. One of the pdocs in the hospital was talking about having a year of therapy, which I agreed with at the time cos I don't think 12 weeks of CBT are going to cut it, but now I'm deeply suspicious of why they think I would need so long. On the NHS it is unusual to get long term therapy unless you have a severe personality disorder, which is why I'm suspicious because they haven't told me that's what they think I have when they took away my other diagnoses, and I'm positive that I don't have any kind of PD. They told me I didn't have depression or psychosis, so why am I still under a CMHT, seeing an OT and pdoc, and needing long term therapy if I have no MI?? The only reason I can see is that they've labelled me with something in secret and haven't told me because I will be furious because it's not true and it's just a way of discrediting me.

Anyway I'm trying to keep busy and not worry about it all too much

Hope everyone enjoys the rest of the weekend! My siblings are back to school/college tomorrow woohoo!

*Willow*

now its sleeting ice and snow. wow.

In Texas? wow! thats not good.

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I love your posts willow. You fit so much stuff into them!
And no, I dont tale anything for cold and flu. Juat maybe cough drops to clear my head and chest.
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Lol well whenever I'm gone, this thread goes so quickly that I often want to comment on things that happened pages back. I think it's the time difference. Plus I ramble on and on!

Hope you feel better soon

*Willow*

yea it was 80 yesterday now its like in the 22 degrees. go figure texas wearher.

im feeling paranoid about things again and im not even high. its weird tho...when i got high last time i was only slightly paranoid. i was mostly nervous and scared. not that i have to be high to be paranoid dont get me wrong. im paranoid by nature. its my schizophrenia but i was just making a comparison.

I know you use Fahrenheit in the US so I never know what you mean when you guys mention temps! Lol It sounds like Fahrenheit uses a wider scale than Celsius, but I'm too lazy to look it up now. I never know what the temp is here. I have a weather app on my phone but never use it. I don't trust the weather predictions anyway as it seems to me they make it up as they go along lol

Luckily where I live the weather is usually mild. We rarely get snow, we missed all the terrible floods that the UK has had lately, and I can't remember the last time we had a hosepipe ban during the summer The wind is pretty strong and chilly lately and it mostly rains on and off, but occasionally like yesterday we get a nice sunny spring day that really cheers me up. All the daffodils are blooming in the garden and they always make me smile as they seem like such happy flowers

*Willow*

I want an anonymous site where I can upload photos, store them and link to on PC - any suggestions? Occasionally I want to post photos on here but I don't have them online to link to. If I can do that, I can post my elephant pic when it's finished

Newtus: Paranoia sucks!

*Willow*

i only know of tinypic.com and postimage.org

Thanks Newtus!

Let's see if this works...



ETA: YEY! It worked!

*Willow*

I use photobucket...but your pics are visible to everyone but anonymous because of your screen name.

Is it spring there?

Well it's March now so officially spring! The daffodils are mostly all out locally, though up but not opened in a couple of spots, so it feels like spring is here. My favourite part of spring is when the cherry blossom is out and falls like pink snow.

*Willow*