Roll Call 18

if you just took your Haldol right before throwing up, you should maybe take another one to keep your levels up newtus.

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No I still see the CMHT and will be seeing the latest pdoc arrival at the end of the month, even though I don't want to. I actually meant that I didn't want to be a psychiatrist any more and left medicine as a career.

I did not know that! That explains how I missed the post originally! Lol

It's a TV series based on a few books she wrote. I've never seen that show or read the books myself, but I have a friend from school who's a vet who was obsessed with them!

JunkDNA I'm sorry for your loss. I hope that the voices go away soon

*Willow*

oh im sorry willow. my mistake on that.

the caffiene didnt really help. it brewed in my stomach making me more nauseaous. but i told a MD/GP once and they prescribed me this medicine but it gave me hot flashes type of thing and locked my jaw up.

I just had to kick someone out of my life because they'd become toxic to me. Now she's saying how I'm "lying to get attention" and all kinds of horrible stuff.

I really hate people. Voices are back, but who cares?

ugg. you just cant get a break!
did u take your haldol again to make up for what you puked?

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I had to kick a friend out of my life a couple of years ago due to her constant lying. Well I caught her in a few lies and it was over. However we're slowly but surely becoming friends again. She got her life together now and so far (as far as I know of) no lying. Maybe after a while you can have that friend back in your life again? But I agree, people do suck.

Voices suck.

I don't think that's possible. She was really verbally abusive towards me in the end and I don't tolerate that kind of **** from anyone. I deserve better than that ****. I'm so ****ing angry.

No worries

I'm sorry Atypical I've had to ditch toxic friends in the past. Currently debating ditching another. Though I did the cowardly thing of just disappearing off the face of the planet rather than having a confrontation :/ And they knew nothing of my MI struggles. Anyway it really sucks that she's acting out like this, but just another reason why it's good to have her out of your life! Those who know you won't believe the nasty things she says. I'm sorry the voices are back too

I really need to go to sleep cos I've got to get up early tomorrow :/ Really wish I could turn my stupid brain off! And Max is snuggled up so close to me that I'm getting claustrophobic! Lol

*Willow*

(((hugs))) Atypical.
It really sucks.to have that happen.
You are maybe better off without that friendship.
But ot is also a good thing when you can realize it was toxic. Some people cant and suffer for it.
Good for you!

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i didnt. but im guessing i should since im supposed to take 2 anyway.

You gotta keep that haldol level up where it needs to be newtus.
Ya know what I mean my friend?

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Yeah, the way she's acting just further validates that I did the right thing. I am better off. I don't have time for that kind of ********.

you dont deserve that. i cant believe they said you were doing it for attention. thats what they said?

yea but i didnt want to take too much if it already ingested into me. but i took another one anyway since im supposed to take two. i dont take it as prescribed actually. i take one. but i took two anyway.

If your not taking it as prescribed, what do you think are some things that can happen because you are not getting enough into your body?

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only more psychosis. because im trying to learn how to control my psychosis without much medicine because it makes me dumbed down and energyless and puts weight gain on me. so im learning to control SOME of my psychosis. if i can.

Keep in mind the high dose of drug they had you on will make you more prone to psychosis during rapid withdrawal...if you are only taking 2mg right now that is cutting either by 2/3 or 4/5 the dose from the shot which was 6-10mg...that's a lot and will make it harder to not become psychotic. Why not focus on taking all 4 mg and then after a couple of months you can try cutting that in half. It will make the process far more pleasant. If you end up back in the hospital they may just put you back on injection...it has become more and more common to require forced outpatient treatment in some cases especially if you happen to do anything considered criminal...this can be as simple as staying in a store when the manager asks you to leave. Why take the chance this will happen when you can taper more slowly?

As long as you have a plan..
but what is your plan if you go so far into psychosis and you dont realize it?
Im not trying to give you a hard time, Im just worried about you.

cuz I care ya know!
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Texas - Treatment Advocacy Center

Here is the AOT law in your state for involuntary outpatient treatment you do not have to be a danger to yourself or others just sick and not taking your meds. You don't even have to commit any crime you just have to be noticed by the system. That is all.

going to bed....
love to all
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i didnt realize that Sometimes and i dont know punky.

thats so scary! oh sh_t! i just have to be noticed in the system? i better not say sh_t. thats why im scared to be in the community treatment center cause i think theyll put you on that stuff fast...forced injections.

idk i mean i cant live my life being on so much medicine. i wish they knew that.! i cant like live...you know...a full life. im bound by this medication. this sucks so much.

im thinking about even quitting my therapist so i dont get noticed in the system. her comment about sending my medical records to my new pdoc was really unnerving. and disturbing.

im f_king pissed by my medication situation still cuz i dont want to be noticed by the system. i dont think people realize how bound i still am to the system no matter if i change docs or not.

OK I didn't tell you that so you would quit the system but so you can learn to work within the system. You have to be stable enough to get past them and be deemed fit to take care of yourself...leaving is a red flag...that's why she wanted to forward your paperwork for continuity of care. Think of how it is in the hospital where you have to convince them you're well enough to leave well that's how outpatient is too but at an even higher level. Try taking the 4mg and see if you feel more stable on that. Remember when you wanted to volunteer at petsmart to get out more...that's where you want to be. 4mg is still way less than you were taking before so you will be less sedated and start to lose weight.

Think of it like this you're skiing along and if you have an incline of 25% that's pretty fun but if you have an incline of 75% it's like skiing off a cliff and that's not good. You'll make it to the bottom of the hill either way but it would be nice to be in good health rather than broken at the bottom.

thanks Sometimes. i know leaving is a red flag im just hoping they overlook that. because i dont need them over my backs. they shouldnt foward my paperwork without my consent right?