Roll Call 19

Purgatory

What is clozeral? Is it a ap? Sorry if this has already been asked.

Cracking-how are u doing? I hope ur ok

Please remeber that message i need witnesses

EDIT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN CAPS AND WHAT IM WRITING NOW IS ALSO IN CAPS I NEED TO EMPHASIS IM IN EXTREME PSYCHONEUROSIS OR WAS AN HOUR AGO BEFORE MY MIND SHUT DOWN

yea it is antipsychotic. one thats only tried after you tried everything else.

yea where cracking atypical and punky

and faerie

I'm struggling. Crying...Just memories. I feel so freaking damaged sometimes. I'll be back when I'm feeling better.

sunshine1995

Good to hear from you! And glad you're feeling a bit better today

Alonewithmycat How's your new kitty doing?

Sunshine

I saw this video about the disability assessment here in the UK, which was difficult to watch. It made me feel guilty that I was given disability when so many are not (though I doubt my next review is going to go so smoothly what with all the problems I'm having with the CMHT & Govt!), and just highlighted how inappropriate the assessment is for mental health problems. I'll post the link if anyone's interested (it's only 10mins long), but it does mention sui thoughts so don't watch if you might be triggered.



Mum has been really snappy lately (I've not been much better though) She's so stressed about her liver & diabetes diet. Her sugars are all over the place (from 4-30!) and it seems that foods low in sugar for the diabetes are high in salt which is bad for her liver and vice versa, or they're low in everything and taste like cardboard :/ So I know she's irritable because she's really stressed and I'm not taking it to heart. She started crying in the supermarket earlier!!

I don't really know how I feel tbh. I've been staring at the flashing cursor, trying to figure out how to describe with words how I'm feeling...but I've got nothing...

I signed up for the jewellery making class with the OT yesterday - starts next week. The 2 women who showed me around the place were too full-on though. They're (?ex) service users themselves, but they just talked too much and laughed too much and kept threatening to make me talk more, which really put me off tbh, but they don't run the jewellery class so I'm hoping it'll be ok.

Other than that, I'm not sleeping too well and don't want to get up in the mornings, so my getting up at 9am has completely gone out of the window :/ I haven't showered in a while, so that's not happening either And I'm struggling to know what to wear each day again. Today I just put on what I had on yesterday because that was less stressful than choosing a clean top and trousers :/



Sorry I'm not more positive right now. I know you guys have a lot going on

*Willow*

I took 2mg risperidone. Not taking more. If I don't sleep tonight I'm going to the ER because I fear heart attack from ventricular fibrillation. Both Prozac and risperidone prolong QTv or what ever interval.

And yes my cat is always beside me. It's like she knows.

Just Ritalin for school and a benzo or at least seroquel for when I get like this. It's not much to ask.

So I bought a book managing anger with cbt for dummies...the dummies books are always so funny. So I'm reading along you know like 2-3 pages in in just the general background section and for some reason it clicked in my brain that I am really angry at having been sick and that I never really got to express it. I mean sure I thought it was unfair but I was so drugged up on APs that all my actual I think legitimate anger was never expressed. I think that is why the forum has been a little triggering lately...I mean I'm just getting my emotions back to their normal strength and that was the first one that cropped up...and honestly I think I'm angry that all of you are sick and dealing with this ***** too. Because it's not even remotely fair that this should happen to any of us....it's like I thought I could just fix everything somehow but really that's not always going to be the case it's possible that things can't be fixed using the tools we have have now and that's incredibly frustrating for me both as a person and as a scientist. I need to find a new balance with this so I may be in and out for a while.

Been working my butt off during midterm week and applying to new jobs in my desired field. I'm really excited and it helps me be positive when my hallucinations are scary. If my hallucinations continue to still be bad I'll probably take a prn dose of my risperdal and get everything back in order during spring break.

It seems like everyone has been having a lot of diffuculties, I hope everyone gets better

I went on the bipolar forum and a lot of people are suffering too so it's not just us. Usually in April I get really manic and psychotic, but I'm not sure exactly why. My psychiatrist told me that I most likely will get manic after each midterm and final then break down. I'm hoping the extra dose of risperdal will help along with working out and hanging with my friends.

Well when I call the police, they usually ask "do you think you're ill? Are you taking your meds"

I don't know why they know these things.

I don't trust them though. They pretend to be nice to me to get me off what's really happening.

I feel like I'm going to explode though if I don't talk to that stalker. I'm trying hard not to, because the police will know, but it's driving me crazy.

i dont think you should talk to them. i really dont. just because of the police. you dont want them involved anymore than they already are. if the person thats stalking you is calling the police on you then they are protecting themselves with police. that means the police are there to prosecute you and protect the OTHER person.

Okay.
Talked to Bean and she agrees to hospital even though she doesnt want to go she feels she needs to.
She seems safe today and cant wait to see everyone there.

I have to remind her that many of those new friends are probably back home from the last time she was there in October.

But she is a little excited to see staff and make new friends......what a beautiful mind she has.

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Thanks, I know you're right, it's just driving me crazy, if he just admit it, that would be a start.

But you're right he is hiding behind the police, they just protect the stalkers, they don't care about the TIs.

Punky - Hope the hospital helps Bean

How is everyone feeling today?

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my anxiety is uncontrollable. the xanax isnt working. i tried to calm down with a cigarette but it really didnt help. my paranoia is up again and ive been hearing some voices. i feel tired and worn out.

yea i hope the hospital helps bean. im surprised she likes it there.

Taking both haldol pills and AP on schedule? (((hugs)))

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im a TI but here the police would put me straight into jail or hospital.

lol yep. i am. the doc raised my dose on my AD. and gave me trazedone to sleep.