Roll Call 21

Those walk in tubs they show on tv have for older people / disabled people look awesome... I want one!

im back from my mom's house. im seeing T at 3:30pm. then ii might go to a friends house if he says its ok. i had a good time at my mom's. we went out to eat with my family for my birthday dinner and i got some money. and i got my 2nd tax return check in the mail today. yay!!

I was sick all weekend with a stomach thing. I hope I'm better now. I haven't been sick like this in a year.

I hope everyone's doing okay. Too much to read up on.

im at my moms. missing my dad. waiting for my flight. ill be up at 4am to catch it.

Good luck with your flight newtus, sure youl be fine

Oh wow, it's here already. I bet you'll have a great time on your trip.

Hi everyone. I'm sorry for not being here for awhile. I have just been so focused on getting the house ready for the move. That will still take a long time. I hope everyone is doing better. I'm also sorry that I don't reply to other's posts as often to give advice that often. Its because most of the time I can't figure out what to say, and also I don't want to give the wrong advice. Also, I don't socialize just to socialize. Sometimes it goes weeks or even months in between calls to my friends. I don't know if its due to my illnesses or what. Just remember part of having autism is having a difficult time socializing and not knowing how to do it properly.

As for me, however, my life still sucks. Mom is real to the extreme. She is sick.... again. Constant problems. My mom still has to have dangerous life-threatening surgery. Now, the doctor has backed off because of the high risk to her life. We would have to wait until we move. The surgery will still come. My mom is also having Asthma and Bronchitis. My dad had the nerve to tell me, "You don't know what bad is." What? You mean that mom's deadly many health problems isn't bad enough? Having to get rid of a dream house to move into a dump isn't bad enough? having to worry to death about our lack of a future isn't bad enough? I think his definition of "bad" is an actual death in the family, or being on the street at this very moment.

My brother had surgery on Friday and he is incredible pain. He's on the verge of tears. I know with my surgery in January of this year it did hurt. But I didn't cry. I didn't even cry when I had to be hospitalized with my abscessed tooth in 2009. My face swelled up several times its size. If I waited any longer, the infection could have entered my bloodstream.

I hope I'm not bringing anyone down. I am happy about that game I keep on talking about on here. That is the very thing that keeps me from having more severe problems. A very good distraction technique. Seeing the updates daily about this game helps tremendously.

thanks guys. im so nervous tho. i met with my pdoc today and told her i was going on vacation. she said i could take a xanax on the flight. i miss my dad so much already i wanna cry and im not even out of town yet. i love him so much.

He'll be waiting for you when you get home and I'm sure he'll miss you too. Try to see this as the amazing opportunity it is....some people never fly, never leave their home state and some people never even get to leave the place they are born...so drink it all in, take lots of pics and tell us all about it when you get home

Well I'm not gonna be online much for a couple of days. I almost ended up in the hospital. Just wanted to say hi and I hope everyone is doing ok.

I gave my kindle to my son but can be on for an hour a day. I just was losing my mind....looking at things online that trigger my ptsd and bipolar.

Idk if this forum is where I belong....the bipolar forum has so much arguing and I think u guys are so smart.

I know I've been all over the place. Just a lot going on. I saw the psych nurse today and was able to sleep 4 hours. We're changing my meds a little, but not much. Just fyi, I was on latuda and was cutting them in half. She said that makes them entirely useless. So I basically stopped an ap abruptly.

I was so confused, paranoid, disorganized thinking....I couldn't keep track of anything. I was really scared.

Well I hope I didn't freak anyone out. Well other than myself, lol.

Have fun in California newtus. I'm jealous, lol.

Firebird.

You know, I remember my step-mom telling me once, like 8 or so years ago, that I didn't understand that my dad was going to die someday and I didn't understand death was forever. It infuriated me because I'd already lost my mom, and I very much understood that. It just reminded me of it how your dad says "you don't know what bad is." It's infuriating to have someone invalidate you like that. Don't listen to him. You go through so much and he doesn't know what he's talking about to say that.

I really hope your move goes well and your mom can have her surgery and it turns out okay. It's such a hard thing to see your parents go through such things. I don't think people always realize what kids feel when something happens to their parents.

I'm glad you have your game. I think I missed what it is, but I'm glad you have something to take your mind off things even for awhile. We all need that.

Well, you are at your moms, and you don't feel safe there. I bet once you get to Cali your family will be so happy and excited to see you. Try to focus on "I'm going to have fun," and your dad will be waiting to hear all the stories you have to tell when you come home.

I'm really not sure how that's true...not everyone responds to the same dose of meds some people are on really low doses like risperidone 1mg and it's enough for them...a lot of it depends on how you metabolize the particular drug. When I was on abilify the AP effects aren't supposed to kick in till 10 mg but I was on 7.5 mg for a year and was fine...as I tapered off of them I noticed new effects at every lower dose so they were definitely doing something...

I've not had a great day. They're not happy that I made a GP appt! They must be monitoring my phone or something, cos within half an hour of me making the appt they were punishing me with this high pitched noise in my head. It makes it hard to hear my own thoughts over the noise, which I think is the idea. I went out with the dogs because I thought if I could get away from visible people, it might reduce the signal, which it did cos it got quieter in my head, but then got louder again when I was back around people. It's still there 12 hours later!!

I went to a coffee shop after our walk and tied the dogs to the table while I went in the shop to order. When I was eating my sandwich, a Labrador walked past and Max went nuts and ran off after it dragging the table with him. I was so embarrassed and everyone was laughing at me. I carried the table back and tried to pretend everything was fine, but then Max jumped up because he wanted some of my sandwich so I snapped at him to get down, and then I heard a male voice mimic me, and that was the final straw and I quickly left before anyone saw that I was crying. It was only now thinking about it again that I realised that maybe it was a hallucination and not real...idk.

And Mum was kicked out of hospital again without them doing anything to help her. It's not just pdocs that don't give a **** about people suffering!

I'm sorry that people are struggling I'm afraid that I don't have any advice though :/

*Willow*

I don't even bother going to forums other than this one. Everyone here is so nice... The other forums scare me.

Willow I am so sorry that happened to you

Firebird it is great to hear from you again. I'm sorry your family is still struggling

Newtus enjoy your family and especially your grandma. Family is so very important and when you don't have any to spend time with it really stinks. I just have my three kids and I miss having other family. So gets tons of hugs and tons of pictures while you're there

Faerie I'm sorry you were sick. That's a bummer.

sunshine I'm sorry you're struggling right now.

This is so true, I have a strong reaction to low doses of thorazine but needed a ton of Abilify and Geodon to see any effect...

Speaking as a person who's a lot closer to needing that bathtub than you are... it's my policy to resist all such accommodations until they're absolutely necessary - on the theory that once you give in to it, you're on the downward slide.

Sorry that happened to you. Without an audience it's just annoying. With an audience it's mortifying.

I cooked dinner today using beef and made a meat sauce. My housemate came home from work and said it tasted odd and asked me if I did anything different of which I said hadn't. I thought that since we rarely eat beef perhaps that was the issue regarding the odd taste my housemate experienced. He decided not to it because it didn't taste right.

But now that odd taste he experienced has got me thinking and do hope that it isn't food poisoning. I've had food poisoning once before and I have to say it's a very painful experience, but so far it's been two hours and I have no ill effects.

So now I sit and wait for the next two hours to put me in the clear. If not, I'll be heading to the ER.

I've got dread coursing through my veins and it's not helping my stomach.

Hmmmm... My puppy chewed through the cord to my laptop last week. I just got the new one in the mail today. I'm thinking I was better off without the laptop. I got all kinds of things done since I didn't have the Internet to distract me. Maybe I should limit my computer time?

So you're hearing voices again? When did that start...just today? Have you been extremely stressed lately? I can imagine you might be with your mom being sick and all these new T, pdoc and OT appointments. Is there anything you can do to help yourself relax a bit more? Maybe some way of reframing the situation like with the dog and the table stuff like that, well maybe it's an American approach but like if you slip on the ice the first thing you do is laugh in recognition of the humor of it then you are laughing with people and no one is laughing at you...so you know if max was dragging the table I might exclaim wow I had no idea he had that kind of strength or something so it opens up a dialog with those around you instead of setting up a defensive wall that will never hold. Anyway my two cents...