Roll Call 21

well. i met with pdoc and T. i said i wanted off risperdal and on latuda. it didn;t go well. they are too scared to do it right now. they say i should be on the shot because the voices tell me not to take my meds and i have hidden them and lied before. i am so mad. it feels like a punishment. like its more for their comfort than mine. they decided to take it so very slow. they put me on 400mg seroquel and 1.5 risperdal pills plus the shot. i wanted them to lower the shot and start latuda today. ughhh. i called them d(i)cks in the office. lol

I just woke up and have the option of exercising or going to class today. I will ask my boyfriend what I should do, I figured exercising to get all the manic energy out and usually exercising helps stabilize me.

I'm in the middle of a bad mixed episode and I don't know why I ****ing bother. I'm not suicidal or anything but I'm in a really bad place. I'm not psychotic though. Like that ****ing matters.

In my state it only covers psychiatrists for children. I talked to the pharmacist about the topamax and she said the psych nurse is correct. If I'm in a mania I wouldn't want to take topamax. Also she was right about the invega and risperdal they both are the about the same as far as weight gain goes.

Oh I'm so hoping the latuda works and I don't get insomnia again. She's starting me off at a low dose so I will hopefully adjust. Btw, the latuda helps with my back pain.

Thanks for providing that link though.

Mixed episodes suck a s s. Doing meditations for anxiety helps me. There are some good ones on YouTube. Also relaxation techniques like listening to rain or the ocean, I can't think of what that's called...But I have an app on my kindle that has them. You know, nature sounds. I just lay down and listen to the sounds.

Hope that helps.

I don't see how that's even possibly legal as of 2008 equivalent mental and physical care is required by law....can you only see a nurse if you get physically ill?

i wish i could be on latuda. . T texted me and asked me if i was feeling any better. i guess i dont feel as mad. i told him i dont want to be psychotic as much as he doesnt want me to. he said yeah probably more. hes right. but i want to try latuda.

Yep or a arnp. I'm in Washington. Im positive, here u USED to be able to see a md and pdoc but not anymore. U can see a specialist if your gp puts in a referral. Don't have any dental anymore either.

They have done massive cuts here. I mean I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure.

Well maybe later they'll put u on it.

You only see an np for most mental health things in my state too. I thought it was that way in lots of states.

They even tried to cut more, like scripts and stuff but they had an overwhelming amount of ppl fighting against that.

So to get dental here if ur poor u can go to a clinic for low income ppl and make payments. The only free dental is tooth extraction.

Me too. I didn't think it was that uncommon.

yeah i think they will. they just want me to get off risperdal pills and be on seroquel pills then switch the seroquel for the latuda. but they didnt say anything about getting off the shot

Wow that's terrible....the only time I ever saw an np was as a student on student employee insurance but it was hospital associated so they just called an md when needed. But yeah that makes sense if you can only see an np for both then it's fair. I actually really liked the nps for infections etc they were less pressured somehow but I can't imagine for psych it's a lot more complicated with all the med choices and their side effects...

Have fun!

Idk about the specific med you are on, but I was told in pharmacology class that unless a tablet has a indentation across the middle (which makes it easier to split in half), you shouldn't cut them smaller. This is because in ones with the indentation, the manufacturer has guaranteed that the active ingredient is equal in each half of the tablet, so it can be cut. Otherwise the active ingredient is unevenly distributed throughout the tablet so splitting them in half doesn't give you equal medication amounts in each half.

YEY! Good job for going through with that! I'm on a waiting list for a dentist, but I know I'll be terrified when an actual appt comes through :/

Mixed episodes are the worst! The only thing that helps me is isolating from everyone so I don't rip their heads off, and pacing in my room for hours until I am able to pass out with exhaustion

Today hasn't been great. We had 2 guys come to survey the house (we are trying to get solar power installed, but need a survey first) and they showed up early before my Dad got back and I panicked (my parents had taken Max for some reason so he wasn't there to keep me safe). The house didn't feel safe with strangers going in every room, in my room too, and so I had to leave. My brother was home and my Dad was on his way, so it wasn't like I was leaving the house unattended, but I had to get out of there. I even left the front door open in my haste to leave! Luckily the cats didn't escape...

Anyway as I left, I thought I heard someone calling me but I thought I was hearing things so I carried on walking, but it was actually my Dad worried about why I was leaving. I didn't know where I was going but I ended up by the river, so I sat on the grass trying to calm down. I was there maybe 5 mins before I saw a black spider about an inch in diameter crawling nearby. I didn't think much of it. I don't like spiders but he wasn't that big so it was ok. But then I saw another and another and another until there were about 15 of them all crawling towards me across the grass. I freaked out and got up and away from there as fast as I could. Idk if I hallucinated them or not though. I have never visually hallucinated before that I know of, but it seems a bit odd to be real thinking about it now.

Anyway after my parents called to say the guys had gone (they obviously figured out why I'd run away), we went out for tea. They've been quite nice to me this afternoon, and haven't asked about why I freaked out, which is a relief. Then my Dad and I went to the cinema to see the new Captain America film, which was good. And it's my niece's 4th birthday tomorrow which will be nice. The only other problem is that the noise in my head is still there, but it's ok I guess.

Hope everyone else is ok

*Willow*

I'm sorry. People were surprisingly respectful to me when I did mine. I think I may have actually informed some people, which of course is a huge confidence boost. XD

FML I have to do another essay. I've written at least 5 in the past week...

But on the plus side, my dad is coming to visit (he lives in another state) and I think he's bringing my dog. ^_^ I miss them both.

And then on Friday I'm going to Texas to visit family. Warm weather? Yes please.

I'm really not sure what could cause uneven distribution of medicine in a pill...seems like an odd concept to me I mean they make a big batch and then make it into pills the whole batch had to be evenly mixed in order to get even doses in all the pills. The thing is with APs they are in your system for a while I don't know for Latuda but for abilify the half life was 72 hours so even if you got a little less in one half you'd still get the full dose when you took the next half 24 hours later. Abilify definitely did not have a split mark but was stated OK by my pdoc for sure and no warning in the 6 page guide although there was one for the oral dissolving tablet. I'm wondering if this could be a UK vs US thing...do you guys make pills that have like stripes of ingredients? That's the only thing I can think because normally there is sort of an extruded tube and then they get sliced into rounds sort of like an egg slicer would do...you know for the classic pills for the fancy ovals and stuff I have no idea...I pretty much assume they are molded in which case distribution should also be uniform...

Here is a list of uncuttable meds...most are due to enteric coating or extended release formulations...

http://www.ismp.org/tools/donotcrush.pdf

Willow those spiders sounds creepy....also I can't believe you got Captain America before we got it here...it only opens on Friday...

toby in the window this evening

im in cali but so nervous. everyones coming over and seeing me and im all shy. my dads not here to protect me. my moms not either ( not that she really would) but still. im alone. my psychotic symptoms are so bad that i dont even know what to say about them. its jus ugh. maybe i need a xanax to tie me over

I honestly have no idea how tablets are made. That's just what I was told in pharmacology class by a pharmacologist

Creepy, as in not real?? I have no idea if I hallucinated them or not! I have never seen things before...but then it was a bit weird to be real...

Really?! I'm surprised we got it before the US cos that never happens with US films!

JunkDNA: Aww Toby is so pretty! I have a special preference for ginger cats as that was what my first cat looked like

*Willow*

thanks... im starting to love him. i still miss spook. but i like toby in a different way. he is a sweet boy

. So I looked it up and the FDA only has suggestions on scoring and doesn't mandate it....but they suggest for example that scoring lines not be put on pills if cutting in half will put you below the therapeutic dose as would be the case with the abilify I was taking...they actually advise against splitting in general as you said because there have been studies suggesting uneven distribution but also people do weird stuff like split coated pills or capsules...I still don't understand how the distribution could be more uneven in pill halves than pill wholes I wonder if anyone has studied pill to pill variation...it's just weird to me...

Creepy as in it would scare me real or not real....it does seem unlikely but it is possible. We have these things called daddy long legs and I have seen groups of those before but you know like five not fifteen...

My son cuts his pills up all the time - even down to 1/8. The doctor told him to. I don't know if the tablet has a score across it or not.