Roll Call 21

I see my case manager today. Hoping that I start to stabilize now that I'm sleeping and get into some support groups, like for bp and ptsd. I guess now that I have her she can give me resources about different agencies and stuff like that. Hope that made sense.

I miss Newtus! I wonder how she is doing.....

I know me too---I figure no news is good news she must be having too much fun to log on...

im still in cali but will be home wednesday at 12 CST. heres some more pics.





and heres the fortune cookie factory in chinatown where they make fortune cookies for all asian food places in the country

Glad youre having a good time in Cali!

Sent from my SCH-S720C using Tapatalk 2

O my lord.....huh.
80's intelligence...its amazing how far we have come in such a short amount of time,eh?

Sent from my SCH-S720C using Tapatalk 2

This sounds great.
I hope there are more resources out there to help!(((hug)))

Sent from my SCH-S720C using Tapatalk 2

Ello Cracking!

Sent from my SCH-S720C using Tapatalk 2

i am having fun. but im so homesick its not even funny. ive been hallucinations and paranoia bad.

So glad to hear from you Newtus
It's good to hear that you're having fun! Thanks for sharing those pictures with us.

Hey Punky! How's everything going?

Oh come the **** on.

YEY!

I saw Mum today and she was a bit dopey and in a bit of pain when she moved, but otherwise ok. I'm so relieved! Even seeing my Dad when he got home and hearing that Mum was ok, or seeing her today myself wasn't enough to quieten the noise in my head so I know it's not stress. It's the same volume today too. Also when I was trying to get to sleep, there was a morse code beeping noise in my right ear a bit quieter than the other noise. I don't know who/what they were trying to communicate with though, because I don't know any morse code!

I only had 3 hours sleep (Dad too), so we've been running on adrenaline today, but I don't feel too bad. Should probably have had an early night, but it's almost midnight and I'm still awake. Just realised that I forgot to take my sleeping med cos I only restarted it Sat, and I skipped it last night to stay awake for news of Mum, so I'm not in the habit of remembering it yet :/

Anyway, my favourite brother arrived home from Uni today for Easter break. And it was his 21st birthday yesterday so we put up balloons and banners, and I wrote a birthday message on his chalkboard wall (which is this amazing special black paint that you can put chalk on and wash off) in his bedroom, which was fun. And we went out for a birthday meal minus Mum, though I ate too much cos I squeezed in a mint chocolate sundae for dessert, which was yummy but greedy of me.

Anyway I should probably go to sleep. Max is already passed out and snoring his head off! Thanks again everyone for being so supportive

*Willow*

I GOT HIRED! they sent me an email. they had a medical questtionare and it asked if uve been treated for psychatric conditions and if ur on disability. i had to push yes for both. but it said its just for workers comp stuff. and that it doesnt go to the facility

How much can you work without losing your disability?

20 hours a week. i put that on my application. i hope she saw it.

Most stores only want part time so I'm sure it will be fine...

yeah she said it was part time. i just had an issue with walmart cuz they worked me 80 hours every 2 weeks and still considered me part time. but they are evil

Yay! Congratulations junk! Thats great !

Right on junk!! I'm excited for you.

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

I saw the psych nurse today, yay! They had a cancellation so I was able to get in. I'm gonna stay on the latuda and use risperdal as a as needed med. I was taking an insane amount of doxepin and visteral to sleep and so I can only take 100 mgs of each, and if I'm still not sleeping she added in a strong sleep aid. But that's just until I get my sleep cycle back on track.

She's adamant that cutting the latuda makes them ineffective. I'm taking her word for it.

I'm doing my very best to stay off the blogs and websites that trigger me. I want this organization exposed but I cannot give up my sanity to it. And every time I get involved this happens: I don't sleep, get extremely paranoid, won't leave the house, feel like the world is unsafe. I don't wanna live that way.

Now the problem is gonna be when I'm feeling better I might think I can handle it. I need to fill my time with something positive and productive. Any ideas? I don't drive and the closest bus stop is a mile away. I can't walk that bc of a back injury. I can start walking again though, I just can't go very far.

Any ideas appreciated.

Yeah Wal-Mart certainly doesn't treat their employees that well, at least I've heard.

Learn ukelele...they are not that expensive and the music can be read in tab format which is easy and when played well they are beautiful...check it out



Learn a new language duolingo is a free app that let's you learn about six different languages.

Learn to cook something new. I never make the same food twice it's something new every week.

Learn meditation it's supposed to help with the voices etc...even though I no longer have voices I'm learning it to have as a weapon if they start again.

Learn to paint or draw...there are online lessons and even youtube videos that help with this.

Read a book...a lot of library's have digital books you can get right from your kindle for free.

Is there any mild exercise you can safely do to strengthen your back?

What do you want to do or learn...find a way to do it

I really wanna learn Spanish, I signed up for babell but it's confusing to me. I'm gonna see if my son can help me figure it out.

I can do a walking video that I have. It's a mile video in 15 minutes. It doesn't hurt my back as much as actually walking does, and its a better workout. Something about actually walking hurts my back. Last summer though I got up to walking a mile. I just have to start slow.

I think maybe I'll look into online classes.

Yeah I should get some paint and stuff. Experiment. I can't afford it but my family will probably help me with it. Anything so I stay off the blogs.

Once I do get up to being able to walk to the bus stop, I want to volunteer at an animal shelter. Walk the dogs, play with the cats.

Thanks for the ideas sometimes.

Had another depot so hopefully will feel better soon. I find it so much easier than trying to force myself to take tablets everyday

Are ideas of reference but not full blown delusions a part of psychosis?