Roll Call 21

and my therapist was like "ask your pdoc for 20mg haldol." and im like "WHAT?!" i said "first of all the 100mg was equivalent to 5 or 10mg of haldol. you increase the dosing by 10 or 15 percent of what the oral was." not that i really need to school a therapist but she was like "oh yea i frgot". i was like thinking holy hell.

Wow...that is really beyond what she's supposed to be doing does she think that your pdoc is incapable of doing her job or something?


It doesn't sound like she's doing cbt at all though...has she taught you any kind of thinking techniques or anything for coping?

i think shes trying to spy and control like you said.

she hasnt taught me anything. i mean when i said i wanted to lose weight she said exercise and watch what you eat. but anyone could say that. i knew that already.

well she DID say "if your paranoid write it down and then we can figure out what your triggers are". cause she knows i write notes a lot and little tid bits of stuff down on paper.

Newtus , if your weight is bothering you , why dont you try to loose some. Ive seen you posts and you have said that you drink alot of energy drinks. I think most of these are full of sugar. And alcohol if you actually burn off the alcohol, say in cooking , whats left is a load of sugar. So theres alot of sugar in alcohol beverages. And if your not doing some exercise everyday , chances are that you will not loose weight.

Can't sleep, got some zopliclone from the Dr, so I'm going to try that tonight.

i been thinking about that. she said she wanted me to sign medical release forms over to them so she could talk to my new psychiatrist and i said "NO!". i didnt realize she was being judgemental. i just thought it was a trap.

but see theres like no other good therapists around here. and shes half good. all the other therapists i saw were 0 percent good and i think i saw 2 or 3 in the same town i goto see her. which has a medium population. under 250k or so.

idk what to do. ive been thinking about changing but its put me in a bind too. i question her too though.

and THEN she was like "tell your psychiatrist about your throwing up and eating habits" and i said "NO! im not getting a diagnosis of an eating disorder. im sick of diagnoses. im not gettnig another one". and she got quiet. cause ive been throwing up a lot. mostly from nerves and various things but i been encouraging myself to throw up instead of holding it in like i would normally do. to lose weight. but a doctor could easily take that wrong i think. and automatically think ED. or something. and im just not having that. but somehow my therapist gets things out of me. like the whole story like KUREHA said.

I think she uses 5 hour energy which is like 4 calories....it's basically just caffeine...I'm not sure you guys have it, it's tiny like a shot or something....

It happened around December and it started again the last few days, the Dr and my nurse think its because I took my meds at night, but it never happened before.

So I think its the stalkers keeping me awake.

Punky - I took my meds with my breakfast like the Dr said, so I'm going to see if it helps.

They're interfering with my thoughts. I can't take much more of this.

yea i need to cut down on the alcohol and stuff. i have 1 beer a day so far. im keeping a food journal. on an app. so far im doing good except i binge eat at night which is hard to not do.

Oh atypical.....(((hug)))
What does ur pdoc say? Anything that can help?

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I'm too scared to call her, I'm worried that she's in on it.

Psychiatry feels more like a ****ed up game to me than an actual attempt to help me.

I'm not sick anyway so I don't know what my pdoc can do. This stuff is real.

Im sure it does feel like a game.
Just going around on the big med circle of life.
The problem is, they may be the only ones who can give you relief right now.
Oxox

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