Roll Call 24

newtus, I've had bad spells like that too--paranoia, voices, people chasing me, hospitalizations and problems with my meds. It sucks to go thru it because it seems like things are out of control. I don't have an answer for you--keep trying meds, do what you have to do to stay safe and ride it out the best you can. You'll make it thru it...

Gr3tta, yep, been there, done that...going to work with no sleep is a real bear....good luck.....D.

i feel really suicidal and homicidal

Me too Gr3tta

im hospital material right now but i cant afford to goto the one i want

So I know a few pages back you were talking about a hospital of your choice but thought it would be too expensive. I vaguely remember looking at the medicare guidlelines and there is a limit of around $1000 deductible you pay for hospital then it is covered and yes given the price of hospitals you would pay that the first day but that's pretty much all you pay even if you stay longer and yes there is a limit to the number of days over your lifetime but in order for that to be meaningful you actually have to have a long lifetime. If you need the hospital go in...don't even think twice about the cost etc. you can't put a $ value on your life or someone else's.

hang in there newtus. I freakin hate my suicidal and homicidal thoughts/visions...its hard to separate myself from them...I'd never want to hurt anybody...and that makes me feel guilty in addition to the violent thoughts....eeerrr....D

...i hope everybody has an okay day....I'm off here....D.

so i have to pay 1000 dollars just to go in out of pocket?

i just got a call from the mental health clinic and greenoaks sent in my discharge papers. so now i have to re-see that same therapist this thursday.........

That's for the whole year.....so unless you never think you'll end up in the hospital all year then you'll be stuck paying it anyway...

I can't do this anymore.

whats wrong atypical

slowly but surely I am recovering from my psychosis, soon there will be no sounds at night, I will awake early and full of energy, less trips to the bathroom and I will feel comfortable in my own skin.

Everything. :/ I'm so depressed that I can't do anything. I can't function.

I can't take AD's because they make me violently manic so I'm ****ed as far as that goes. I'm taking a mood stabilizer but it's not doing anything for my depression.

I just don't know what to do.

Have you ever tried any sort of therapy to deal with depression----I know I'm always harping on cbt but there is a cbt for depression as well and its about practical ways you can change your reactions and they way you think. A lot of people with depression have negative inner thoughts like I suck or something like that so you end of taking that apart and dealing with it on a conscious level. So its like why you're thinking that way and is it accurate---hint it never is. But there is something about the way they break it down that makes more sense than just the generic stuff that other people say. It's like part of our minds is just really extremely judgmental it makes rapid calls on whether something including ourselves is good or bad but if you use the higher thought processes in your mind you can get that part to understand that there is a grayscale and we aren't either good or bad but somewhere in the middle. That judgmental part is just too lazy or perhaps incapable of figuring it out in its own. Anyway highly recommend seeing a cbt therapist...

*hugs* could you get your mood stabiliser upped? Or maybe try some cbt self soothing skills like doing nice things for yourself. I know it's easy for me to say cos I'm not I'm your situation but sometimes just doing something nice and getting out of your routine can help a bit. Don't give up your a fighter hun

are u in therapy atypical?

cbt has never worked for me.

Yes...

none of this crap ever helps. Just makes things worse. I'm so ****ing done.

i understand. it doesnt work for me either and seems (like everyone has seen) like it makes things worse

http://theawkwardyeti.com/character/brain-2/

Have you guys seen this comic----it kind of has the guys internal organs acting as independent unit----these ones feature the brain...cracking up over here...