Roll Call 24

ive been taking my meds. they make me very tired. i dont want them

To those of you struggling

Getting drunk I'm the sun

I'm sorry lots of you are struggling it's horrible mental health it can change everything *hugs*

my mom always has an attitude when i spend time with her. i shoudlve stayed away from her today. shes a snake. i hate her.

It sounds like it can be a difficult relationship newtus

Do you know why? I mean did you not like your therapist...apparently the relationships is sort of key...did they have poor insight or maybe not understand what you were experiencing. Did they have issues dealing with the psychosis and focus on that or something else other than depression? So my T was basically doing treatment for psychosis, anxiety and sort of more like a transient sadness than actual depression so the techniques I know are probably too weak for actual depression. One of them though is to find a place to be alone and then just laugh for ten minutes. You don't need to even be finding something genuinely funny just the act of laughing and smiling changes your physiology and can cheer you up.

The other techniques I know is basically focusing on doing multiple things that make you happy at once. So it may be that right now nothing will make you happy if that's the case think of things that used to make you happy and do that but pick three things you can do together. So for me I liked going to the zoo to take pics with my camera----I added to that listening to my favorite tunes on the mp3 player and eating cotton candy or some other equivalent. So even if this means picking up a pint of phish food to eat while listening to the radio and leafing through your favorite magazine or website than you pick three things and you end up feeling better.

Admittedly I didn't have to deal with a lot of sadness I tend to re-frame things as sort of challenge that I will beat so I only learned those two techniques that's why I was hoping you would have better luck in your own therapy.

ever since i was a little girl its been this way with her. i should know better. since i was a little girl i always wished for a new mom. especially when she had an affair with my dad. when i was 14.

then she lied about my dad again (like always) saying he calls her sometimes and says inappropriate things to her. which isnt true. he hasnt called in two years except to tell her i was in the hospital and she didnt answer the phone then. blamed it on the situation being too "stressful" to answer the phone.

shes a snake.

im treating myself today cuz it is the last day of the semester. i got a xtra cheese and tomato slice pizza. yay

It sounds like your mum might have issues of her own newtus

im sure she does. my dad even thinks shes partially mentally ill. i think if she went to a pdoc she would have borderline personality disorder. shes very fickle and hard to deal with.

(PS) not to insult people with BPD. im saying thats how she acts. i used to know someone with BPD and they acted JUST like her.

Have you ever tried to help her? I know you have no training in this but I think DBT is used for that...perhaps you could apply some of the techniques that are used I mean I know as someone with psychosis it was useful to get reality check from other people and other social support that was sort of counter-stigma. I mean my perspective is that we all generally want help and support from other people so perhaps your mom could benefit from some sort of help from you---it would require understanding how she thinks though which might also be helpful for you allowing you to sort of detoxify the situation. There is a big difference between someone being a jerk and someone being a jerk because they are sick...the second is much easier to forgive.

this is the email i sent my teacher just now

Hey I am in your Abnormal Psych class that meets Tues and Thurs 12-30 to 1:45.

I just wanted to let you know that I am uncomfortable doing the assignment to go to Wal Mart. I used to work there and I don't want to embarrass myself in front of my former co-workers and managers. Also I think this assignment has nothing to do with the class we have been taking. And I also find it inappropriate and see it as making fun of other people. I would appreciate if you would not count me absent on that day and not give me a 0 for the assignment. I hope that you can understand where I am coming from. Maybe there is something else I could do for the grade. I would be willing to do another assignment instead of getting a 0. Please reply back to me before Thursday. I'm sorry for the inconvenience.

i was supposed to see my psychiatrist today but didnt feel like driving so i rescheduled for tomorrow so my dad can take me.

yea ive tried. shes very difficult to help. very much in denial of her "issues". very agitated a lot. or at least with me.

yeah you can't really help people until they see that they have a problem and want to change---sometimes its best to limit the amount of time you spend with people like that. I had to do this with my dad because he would just drink all the time and become more violent and angry when drinking....these days he drinks a lot less around me because he knows I'll just cut him out if he does it---he still goes to the bar though but he'll limit himself to maybe two drinks when I'm around but its still high when I'm not there...so he didn't change the behavior but he learned to change it around me...

Well I'm really happy ur ok Newtus. I hope ur not angry with me I was just really concerned.

Atypical--I'm so sorry, I hate those deep dark depressions. Can u call ur pdoc and see if there is anything they can do.

Junk--I liked ur email to ur professor. I think it's very inappropriate, the Wal-Mart thing. Sh_t, I shop at Wal-Mart.

Atypical--latuda could be a possibility.

Ok starting today I'm eating better. I hope I can do it. I've been eating a lot lately and I don't think it's the meds, I think it's just me.

im not angry with you sunshine1995.

I don't feel like I belong in this world

theres a bee in my apartment......wtf

I just sent you a pm.

LOL a lot of wasps get in my house. they sit on my door screen so i cant go in and out of the house. i run in and out. then one time my shirt got snagged on the door handle and i freaked cuz the wasp was right there.

got it. thanks. i sent one back.