Roll Call 27

Sorry you're feeling so bad today When you feel better you will utilize your T time.

Today I feel hopeless and still trying to avoid that rabbit hole of deep depression. I've been out driving my son to several places today....I still feel yucky

(((hug))) yea...

punky

Today I told my T I was suicidal a few weeks ago, but I'm not right now, I'm slightly worried that I'll be thrown into hospital. I almost always regret opening up to her about very deep things...

Newtus: Black Box tonight

Finally the alarms have stopped and the equipment is set up...I ended up doing the demo for the lab myself after listening to the guy talk when we were setting up. It was actually fun. I have no idea why I always anticipate things to go badly when that pretty much never happens. People are generally nice...I'm not sure why I always think something will go wrong and ruin everything...self hug

well i took half of a 250mg at 5. my head still feels like there is a damper on it. idk very hard to describe. no symptoms of psychosis though. i want to keep taking the metformin to see if it will go away. i told T that with a text and he sent me a long text about how he is noticing that i am doing more and more things that are unpleasant in the short term to achieve something in the long term. stuff like school and going to work when i dont want to and taking the metformin to see if it will work. so i felt good about that. i am sad i didnt really have that much of a productive session with T but i guess what i really needed was to just tell him about how my head felt weird and try to describe it. but it felt good to receive his text. cuz i feel good when he encourages me and tells me that he sees progress.

ill try to remember to watch it

whenever birds talk i think theyre speaking spanish to me

im hearing voices right now they are getting bad. i took my meds thats wht i was saying about being on meds and still having problems

i feel like im in a paradigm shift of voices and paranoia

spiritual time travel in the matrix through the soul/spirit?

Check PM Punky

black box isnt coming on tonight. it will next week at a new time. 7pm

Lol my ex boyfriend is in a good mood now that he isn't sweating balls in his room. Yay ac.

I've sure been thankful for my ac lately too! Texas is hot!!!

Oh wow! Thanks for letting me know!

I'm thankful that ohio isn't Texas hot.

I've been having so much anxiety lately and I don't know if it's because I found out my blood pressure is dangerously high and I started a new med for it yesterday and new meds scare me, or what's going on. It's really bad at night when I'm trying to sleep.

I found out my pdoc diagnosed me with GAD too, probably because she's seen me in all kinds of anxiety over the years.

If you do have anxiety and high blood pressure you might have something called white coat syndrome, my mom has this...ie her blood pressure spikes at the doctors because she is nervous. The only way to know for sure is to get a reading in a non-clinical setting. You might be fine...

White coat hypertension - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

That's what the nephrologist thought, that it was white coat syndrome since I'm so young to have high blood pressure. He hooked me up to a 24 hour monitor and the results came back with the top number in the 140s and 150s even while I'm sleeping. We talked about my lifestyle and I don't eat much salt and exercise for a hour a day, so he thought the best solution would be to try medication.

Oh ok that sounds legit...good luck with the new meds....

im hearing VoiceS

newtus

trees and planes automobiles speaking to me