Roll Call 34

Sometimes psychotic · Sep 02, 2014, 06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23

I never gave Uni pdoc a thank you card, not because he hasn't tried to help me, but because I feel slightly awkward thanking him for it. I sometimes wish I could see him now though, because he would believe me and tell me to stop being silly and take meds...but then I don't really want to take meds and I sometimes resented his pro-med position because he forced me to take them in the past when I was a medstudent for fitness to practise (basically blackmailed me)...but then I also felt that he actually took me seriously (because I tend to minimise everything) and that he cared about me. But I'm also kind of annoyed with him cos if he hadn't encouraged me to defer last year, I wouldn't have come home and been assaulted & then dismissed by this CMHT.

T wants me to practise being a better friend to myself, and if my friend was going through what I am, I would be kind to her and encourage her to take meds as well as see a T, tell her she did deserve to get help and feel better...but I still don't feel that I'm worth all that...

Just feeling really mixed up about it...

If I did try to make an appt, I'd have to be up really early to ring for an emergency appt, otherwise I'd have to wait 3 weeks for a routine slot and I'd probably chicken out/dismiss everything again by then...but then I don't feel like it's a life or death emergency either, just me being silly... :/

*Willow*

While I think you're doing well with T right now you might do even better with some meds.....I thought I picked up a lot from my T and I did but I didn't realize quite how good the abilify was either....sure it's got drawbacks but I think the rewards may out weight them. Still I may try going off again...depends on what happens with this seizure thing if anything. Sorry off point my point is do what works for you there is no right or wrong on this one....

Sep 02, 2014, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

While I think you're doing well with T right now you might do even better with some meds.....I thought I picked up a lot from my T and I did but I didn't realize quite how good the abilify was either....sure it's got drawbacks but I think the rewards may out weight them. Still I may try going off again...depends on what happens with this seizure thing if anything. Sorry off point my point is do what works for you there is no right or wrong on this one....

Thanks Sometimes! I know there's no right or wrong, but the problem is that I don't know what's going on or what works. I also can't see into the future to see if I'm going to have any more meltdowns like this morning's or even if a different med would help. And I just keep hearing ex-pdoc's voice in my head saying that I'm pointless.

Idk...maybe I'll just put it in the hand's of the universe: if I ring and get an appt tomorrow, I'll go, but if I don't, then I'll just keep on as I am, trying to hold it together...

Well I'd better try to get some sleep if I'm going to be getting up early. Night guys

*Willow*

Erti · Sep 02, 2014, 07:26 PM

Trying so hard not to message my ex on Facebook to give him space and time.

junkDNA · Sep 02, 2014, 07:33 PM

newtus · Sep 02, 2014, 08:04 PM

im took scared to take my trazedone tonight because of what it did to me last night. made me really dizzy and sick.

Lillybird90 · Sep 02, 2014, 08:06 PM

yeah you're probably right

. I have always loved writing poems since i was little.
Here is a picture I drew when I was like 6 or 7 I called these the adventures of count dratula there are more comics of this but here is one of them lol.

newtus · Sep 02, 2014, 08:14 PM

i just watched a commercial that said "hail to the V". it was about cleansing cloths for the vagina

Lillybird90 · Sep 02, 2014, 08:14 PM

and while Im at it,here is a picture of me when I was 6

Lillybird90 · Sep 02, 2014, 08:17 PM

Oh that one is a little too blurry here's one that's a little better but this one is of me probably around age 4-5?its always hard for me to pinpoint the exact age because i was such a small child lol.My hair always looked sort of red at that age it wasnt till i turned like 11 that it started getting a dark brownish colour.

Lillybird90 · Sep 02, 2014, 08:29 PM

Sorry not trying to flood the thread just feel more like talking tonight than I have in a while.

How are you all doing?

Erti · Sep 02, 2014, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lillybird90

Sorry not trying to flood the thread just feel more like talking tonight than I have in a while.

How are you all doing?

I'm managing. The nurse comes to see me tomorrow at 10:45 am. Maybe talking to her I can feel better.

Erti · Sep 02, 2014, 08:34 PM

You were a cute kid Lilly. I bet you're a beautiful adult.

Lillybird90 · Sep 02, 2014, 08:46 PM

Thanks

I have to see my pdoc tomorrow I am going to speak to him about maybe being put on a antidepressant.

Erti · Sep 02, 2014, 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lillybird90

Thanks

I have to see my pdoc tomorrow I am going to speak to him about maybe being put on a antidepressant.

Sorry I haven't been keeping up with roll call. You've been feeling depressed?

Crescent Moon · Sep 02, 2014, 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

she seemed alright i guess. take into consideration that im not entirely happy still with whats going on. this change of therapists and my therapist leaving. im still very sad.

The new therapist will not replace the one you're losing. She will likely be very different. The good news is that she can help you process how you feel about losing the one you have now. Over time, you may find out that there are things about this new therapist that are special and make you feel close to her... in a different way than the one you feel close to now.

junkDNA · Sep 02, 2014, 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

im took scared to take my trazedone tonight because of what it did to me last night. made me really dizzy and sick.

are u prescribed to take 300mg traz at night?

Lillybird90 · Sep 02, 2014, 08:51 PM

its ok,yeah ever since I was put on a higher dose of haldol It has been messing with my mood and making me feel a little depressed and cloudy so I might need to take a, AD for a while till I can adjust.

Atypical_Disaster · Sep 02, 2014, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lillybird90

Sorry not trying to flood the thread just feel more like talking tonight than I have in a while.

How are you all doing?

I'm doing okay considering how bad of a month September is for me. It's nice to see you!

Lillybird90 · 12:18 AM

Thanks

Cool,I am sure I will be doing better after I can get a antidepressant and adjust to this medicine I am on.My bday is coming up october the 6th

I am looking forward to it...gonna be able to pick out some cool outfits and stuff as part of my bday gift from family.

newtus · Sep 02, 2014, 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

are u prescribed to take 300mg traz at night?

no im prescribed 100mg or 200mg as i need. but i took an extra hundred because this trazedone didnt work for a month. it miraculously did last night but turned out to be too much.

its ok. i picked up my ambien today though.

Erti · Sep 02, 2014, 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lillybird90

its ok,yeah ever since I was put on a higher dose of haldol It has been messing with my mood and making me feel a little depressed and cloudy so I might need to take a, AD for a while till I can adjust.

Does the Haldol help you any?

Lillybird90 · Sep 02, 2014, 08:57 PM

Well it seems to be it wasnt really helping in the lower doses but now I am on 10mg of it,I have seen some improvements like the voices arent nearly as present or loud and if I hallucinate visually they are not full form hallucinations like they used to be they are more like lights or shadows now or a face sometimes.

Erti · Sep 02, 2014, 09:01 PM

That's good that the higher dose helps. Just got to be careful with the meds. It can cause suicidal thoughts. Ironically it can do that with the antidepressant but I'm sure the antipsychotics can do the same.

ZehR · Sep 02, 2014, 09:35 PM

Right now I would be going to sleep but I took 300mg of caffeine and 120mg of psuedoephedrine so Ill see how that works.

Sometimes psychotic · Sep 02, 2014, 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lillybird90

yeah you're probably right

. I have always loved writing poems since i was little.
Here is a picture I drew when I was like 6 or 7 I called these the adventures of count dratula there are more comics of this but here is one of them lol.

I love this!

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