Roll Call 34

i cant take these meds. they take away everything. i feel like im gonna throw up. idk what to do! im home alone today too! i feel like everything is going downhill for me this month

I really like that name...Ugh it's so hard to pick. I like that though.

i feel like theres something eating my body inside out

Try some grounding techniques. Just go to the ptsd forum and at the top it has grounding techniques. Try it...

i dont think i can relax

i feel like im gonna flip out. im already crying. i took some xanax

This happens every time you stop your meds. Do you not find it exhausting?!

*Willow*

That's amazing, HAHAHAHAHAHA.

I can't wait until I get food money. Corned beef and cabbage sounds so good. Or a roast. It's all rainy and gloomy here today. A roast with carrots and potatoes and corn bread, yum! Feels good to wanna cook again...Just wish I didn't have this back pain.

Talked to my nurse today. She is so understanding. Told her I want to get back into counseling.

I'm a cat person My cat is a Seal Linx Ragdoll, and his name is Fat Daddy

its not exhausting. im just disturrbed. and idk what to do because my body feel weird and mind mind feels like im gonna flip out!

Makes me think of the black cats I had when I was little. One was named Shadow and the other was named Bonkers.

Yeah my son really likes shadow. I had a black cat when I was little named shadow too. Bonkers, how cute.

Oh newtus. this happens when you go off your meds...

Just like me, when I mess with my meds I inevitably end up in a bad mania. It's just not worth it to me...I'd rather be eating more than not being able to function. At least now I'm getting things done. And I feel hopeful again. Trust me, it's just not worth it. When you're on ur meds you are much calmer...

you guys ive been off my meds for two months or more and i did extremely well for one month. theres gotta be more to this life than meds and pushing meds.

Well there is. With the meds I'm able to use coping skills as well. It's best to do coping skills when you're well. So when you are not u have practised them and can implement them.

Have you ever looked into or considered dialectical behavior therapy? It works really well for ppl with borderline personality disorder. I'm not saying you have that, but I use some of those skills. I really use accepting the reality of a situation. Doesn't mean I like it. But I've got to accept it first, then I can learn to change it. There are tons of coping strategies in DBT. Look it up...I'm on a kindle and don't know how to post links, but u can look it up...

Ok I learned how to do it, here's the link newtus.DBT Self Help

I hope that worked, lol.

I agree with sunshine---therapy, actual therapy can help but it's work and you need to be prepared for that----it's not about being friends with your T. However, I did therapy while on meds it would not have worked for me off---I had my own agenda about saving the world or whatever....instead of saving myself.

Personally I'm like meds plus therapy then try tapering after you're doing well...maybe you can get off entirely or maybe not. As you can see I'm back on and happy to be here I think the AD qualities of abilify are kicking in for me right now which is nice---I just feel good again....

*hugs* newtus. You go through so god damn much. Everyone here does but Like it's been over a year and I just see you in complete pain. Stay strong.

Sunshine - it's a community treatment order, so I have to get the injection or I get recalled to hospital.

I didn't get it today though.

Newtus how about taking less of your meds instead of none and see if you can get an appointment with your doctor to see if you lower the dose.
I don't want you to end up in the hospital.

Every time you stop taking meds, you end up in the hospital. I hate taking meds, but I know I need to take them. I think you need to face the fact, you need to be on medication...........period.
Stop playing around and take the medication prescribed, I bet you'll feel better.
You may think the meds aren't working, but they are.

It just reminds me of that quote about the definition of madness being when you do the same thing over and over expecting different results... The meds help you feel more in control (you seem calmer & more coherent, even though you still hear or see things), so you either have to take them or learn to tolerate distressing emotions. DBT is supposedly good at teaching distress tolerance, or ask your new therapist to teach you, but like Sometimes said, it will take work on your part. I'm glad you don't find this cycle exhausting, but honestly I find it hard to know what to say to help you when you stop your meds and post in a panic all the time

*Willow*

You want to know what to do?

Take. Your. Meds.