Roll Call 34

i got toby 3 days after spook died. the thing that was the hardest for me was being alone in my apartment. it just felt so empty and lonely. i like to talk to animals and i had no one to talk to. it was pretty fast how soon i got toby. it was kind of impulsive. but i dont regret it.

my friend growing up had birds. parakeets i think. one time i read something on the internet about how if u touch a bird on the neck it will think u are it's lover and get distressed over it...i know thats a crap way of explaining that but it was a long time ago when i read it. do u know anything about that or is it just not true

No I always touched my bird on the neck it's the back and tail you can't touch it's like your mounting them.....

Yeah I'm still talking to the cage oddly I forget she's not in there....I'm just going on a mini vacation next week and need to for sure wait until after that and then a month later then thanksgiving then Xmas....maybe I'll see if I can find one a parakeet in October because I think we're doing turkey day here so the bird can get acclimated before I have to leave. It's not like there are places to check your bird into like a kennel so they have to be self sufficient and a lot of the young ones still have food issues.

Having a regular commitment that gets you out of the house and interacting with others really helps with mood and self-esteem.

There is only so much isolation a person can take without it affecting them mentally. Spending a lot of time alone causes one to think and think and think.

The way schiz works Newtus , imo , is that there is unfortunately an inability to handle stressful situations. And if you like , the mind becomes reflexive and attributes any given situation a source of stress. The truth is , it doesnt matter , because , if it wasnt situation 'a' that was causing the stress it would be situation 'b' , if it wasnt person 'x' that was the source of your stress it would be person 'y' , and so on and so on. It doesnt really matter , the mind will keep searching until it attributes stress to some meaningless event , the stuff of delusions right there. The only way out of this is to take your meds, quiten your mind and increase your stress tolerance. Simple.

I agree, spending too much time alone allows the mind to go off on it's own. Too much thinking digs you a deeper hole.
No matter how bad I feel, I get out and do something. I always feel better when I do something productive.

A lot of this rings true for me at the moment. I'm a bit happier now I've got my cats around.

I always find that even if I may be prone to some paranoia whilst going out for a walk, it still makes me feel better by the time I'm back. Being isolated is safe but being cooped up isn't good.

Crescent - I just really don't want my injection this time.

Plus the change to abilify is delayed because the doctor is super busy and changing it isnt as important as the other people that need her help.

My tribunal is tomorrow not that anything will change.

Sometimespsychotic and junkDNA, have you ever read Mercedes Lackey's Elemental Masters, which you don't have to read in any order. The women in the books have birds. They are fantasy books and if you like birds, you would probably like them. I'd recommend The Wizard of London and then Home from the Sea. Reserved for the Cat is also excellent.

Let's see, today I'll be home all day, so I'll probably spend a lot of time online or reading and taking care of bills. Mondays, Wed., and Fri. I spend around people, and Tue. and Thurs. I spend alone. It works out ok. for me.

That sounds cool---I like fantasy and birds although I have issues reading on meds so we'll have to see I'll put a sample on my kindle...

hey everyone

I agree with all of the above statements.

It's a horrible position to be in The thing is that you can't go around carrying a knife and going up to people accusing them of stalking you. Whether it is true and you're really a TI, or it's symptoms of a psychotic illness, the powers that be won't let it continue. That's the only reason that you're on a CTO. They don't care that you're psychotic in their opinion, only that you carry a knife and accuse strangers of stalking you. If you were in your house completely out of your mind with psychosis but eating and drinking and not harming yourself or anyone else, no one in authority would give 2 hoots, but by carrying a knife they consider you 'causing trouble'. The only way to get off the CTO is to show them that you can manage your fear without carrying a weapon and without inconveniencing society. Then they will leave you alone. Whether that's because meds help take away the fear or because you learn to manage it better off meds, that is the only way

*Willow*

Willow - It sucks, my doctor thinks that if I'm not taking meds that I will act on my 'delusions' and that I don't have capacity to consent to treatment.

I think they just put anything in the report, just to make sure it would stay the way they want it.

Just back from the neuro he says it doesn't sound like epilepsy at all that they'll do an EEG anyway. Basically if you have temporal lobe epilepsy you have one modality and its like a broken record it happens over and over again so not likely.

That's what I expected. I'm glad you likely don't have epilepsy but it sucks that you're having psychotic symptoms again.

Hey newtus, how's it going?

throwing up this morning. still feeling quite disturbed. i did take my meds this morning but threw it up. too much smoking i think made me sick. i dont feel well emotionally and mentally. i wish i had more people in my life to talk to. i feel real lonely

feeling paranoid today

How much did you smoke?

It sucks that you're so isolated.

i smoke maybe 4 cigrattes this morning. i usually smoke just 1 maybe 2. but spaced out. i didnt this time

is it wrong to ask your mom to set you up with a guy?

I don't think it's "wrong" but I am wondering why you would want to ask her to do that?

yeah----basically I'm going to slowly rule out every possible medical condition until I accept it really is psych----

aren't there people at the cat place you volunteer?

So the resident I saw for neuro today had a handwritten sheet that was like my medical history and my families history-----one of the things written on it was bipolar I-----I think that may be my tentative dx.

Oh that's interesting. Do you agree with the dx?