Roll Call 41

I think the only thing that will help is to remember that it will end. Bipolar is a cyclical beast. Your previous depressions didn't last forever, and this one won't either.

Have you thought about getting a light box? Before meds, I got depressed in the winter pretty regularly (though the severity varied with the year). If you can't afford a light box, maybe open your blinds and let some light into your apartment. If the agoraphobia will let you, try to take a brief walk outside.

An AD might help you, but it could also do a lot of harm. Have you tried lamictal, abilify, or zyprexa? These meds aren't ADs, but they have AD-like properties.

well for me i know when im not on meds i have a lot of energy. when im on meds im lethargic and depressed. but theres pros and cons to both taking meds and not taking meds. if i was taking my 15mg of haldol everyday i would be in your situation most likely.

im kinda pissed. theres family on facebook that tagged all these people she said were "awesome family" and means everything to her. she tagged specific peoples names and i thought that was extremely rude.

idk what to do.

Thank you so much for your response. I do have a light box, but the pdoc in the hospital said it wasn't strong enough. But I suppose I could just use it anyway and see if it helps.

I see a new pdoc on the 16th and I'm gonna see about getting put back on lamictal. I do have some zyprexa but the weight gain is just too much.

I want to go for a walk, (it will hurt) but I'm scared to leave my apt. Maybe I could see if my son will go with me.

But you're so right, it's a cycle, it will pass. It just sucks so much being in it...

I have similar problems sunshine. Hope it gets a lot better soon.

Good luck with your courses newtus!

Hi rollcall! where has loial been?

newtus i used to live in oklahoma near the texas border haha. not a forgiving place, i feel for ya.

im taking a class next semester similar to this. its called health and wellness and its online too

UGGG i cant drink apple juice any more i had it with breakfast and then i feel sick 2 my stomach and i cant drink organic lemonade

does anyone else on here work or want 2work with kids? i love kids and want 2 work at a daycare or something

my zune works again. it keeps dying then randomly working again. anyway im pretty excited abt that and abt not having to listen to the stupid radio anymore!!! i work 11-6 today. gonna be a long day

i didnt goto sleep til 6am this morning. i was up ALL night. extremely stressed.

1. i immediately started stressing hard over if going to college will affect getting my disability payment and medicare. i even was thinking about canceling going to college. im so scared. i looked high and low for info about college and ssdi EVERYWHERE on the net. i found a lot of good opinions but no hard facts. most of the opinions said either they will stop your disability payments OR that it depends on factors like if its online school or face to face. or if its full time or part time ETC. AND that its been a little over 3 years and i havent gotten a review yet.

AND

2. my half brothers wife posted some crap on facebook. ill post about that in a minute.

so my half brothers wife (im not close to both) posted something on facebook about how shes so thankful for family. but then she tags certain peoples names. she tagged quite a few peoples names but it was specific people who she said she was thankful for.

the reason it pissed me off was because for ONE - i know for a fact a few of those people she tagged she just met. they are MY bloodline who she JUST met less than a month ago and live on the other side of the country. only been like maybe 2 weeks so i know for sure they havent done all this stuff for her she claims shes so thankful for. and then TWO - it was extremely rude because she left out other peoples names who have done a whole lot more for her like my dad and someone else who have bended over backward for her. and other people who have been extremely nice to her like me. and she leaves peoples names out.

i was warned by someone in person that shes a drama starter and have deleted her from their facebook. i shouldve listened and not added her. im not adding my half brother either.

the first day i added her she commented this like 20-30 sentence paragraph on one of my posts to one of my blood cousins dissing him for something she shoudlve kept her mouth shut.

sorry ranting.
i needed to...

I've never heard of losing it for going to school....it's more about work than school.

ok thanks. i also posted about it in detail in the insurance and finances forum. someone said i should call my local rep but im not sure if i can do that anonymously and im not about to broadcast it if you know what i mean just in case...

I feel sick to my stomach. I hate it when I get pushed around and mocked. I was just trying to make breakfast our only measuring cup broke so I was trying to use a regular drinking glass so I asked my mum how I should measure it out to be accurate and my dad pushed me out of the way literally and told me to MOVE and he grabbed the cup and filled it with water and walked away saying you just cant do anything right what are you 5? I did not make breakfast I dumped the water I think my food is still sitting out I dont care I am not going back in there.

All you need to do is call and say I'm considering taking some classes part time online will that affect my disability/review. It doesn't acknowledge anything at all. I think it's good advice.

He mocked me too when I said you dont have to treat me like I am an idiot and he mocked what I just just said in a whiny sounding voice... he is my father and an adult but he is so immature.

Your family sounds really volatile....that level of high expressed emotion is probably bad for anyone but it has been shown to be really harmful for people with sz. Can you get out of the house sometimes. Now that you have your GED were you planning on working some? That would get you out of the house a bit....sorry thing kind of suck....

I dont have close enough friends that I just go hang out with them and stay with them..
and I have been applying for job positions havent heard anything back yet at all..
and I get too paranoid to go for long walks, so this is what has been making my symptoms worse I was wondering why because i wasnt doing anything different but it must be the stress level in the household ..

He sounds terrible....when people act like that anymore I assume they have an undiagnosed issue and feel sorry for them for not getting the care they need...

It sounds like you are on the right path it might just take some time.

If he does have something wrong with him he takes it out on me because I have schz so he treats me like I am an idiot and a dumb child and makes me feel unwanted and inferior and makes me hate living here every day and I want to leave so much from this house he mocks the fact I cant. hell say things like why dont you just leave it you hate it here so much oh thats right you cant because you dont have a job or a place to go.

Sorry lillybird that does sound awful. my original family acted like that and my life improved so much when i left home. you have my greatest sympathies.

sorry to hear that lillybird

i just read a lot of peoples posts on other forums saying for example if you have disability for mental health that taking full time courses could mean you could work. i asked my dad about it and he said its possible if i was taking full time. but thats just an example. i wouldnt be doing full time. id be doing part time.