Roll Call 41

Facebook makes me wish I had friends

i masturbated again and this time i started crying...

If my depot had a half life of 35 hours how long will it be before it's completely out of my system? I've been off it for 4 days now

Edit: or would it be a longer half life for a depot?

ugh im having a hard time breathing. idk if its the smoking or anxiety

35 hours sounds too short.....how long between shots is probably a better indicator....

I get my depot every three weeks. I went 4 weeks before and the doctor checked my arm (made me move my arm back and forth with his hand on my elbow) and said it was still in my system. Even a week after I was due a top up. It varies from med to med I'd say but I'd say it stays in your system for a while.

What is depot?

Long lasting injection.....

When did you start getting a depot?

Been on it for about 6 months or so. I take an oral antipsychotic as well.

You can take both? Does it help?

I never had injections. My psychiatrist told me that she hopes I never ever have to go on them.

There were all kinds of jerseys. Unfortunately I don't remember seeing an Irish one.

I tried playing on a team but I hated it since I'm very athletically challenged. I used to play street hockey with my brother and the neighborhood kids in the winter months. That was really fun because my lack of athletic ability didn't matter.

Yeah I've only been taking the pills about 2 months but it seems to help, my appetite has decreased since I started the extra AP which is an added bonus losing weight. I find it's easier to distract myself from certain ideas and I'm not focusing on it that much. My auditory hallucinations have decreased as well to just when I'm stressed.

I thought the depot was just for people who weren't medication compliant or couldn't be trusted with pills. Is there something bad about getting it?

I am very athletically challenged but I enjoyed falling on my arse, it was a bit of craic with a good group of people. I was getting better but then we moved miles away from the rink.

Street hockey is awesome too!

Apparently people who use facebook are less happy than those who don't because they are always seeing all status updates that makes it appear like everyone else is having more fun.

though, I know the feeling... just got 1 friend I'm in touch with at the moment.

I don't know if the depot is bad or not. Everyone I know who gets it has 'obvious' schizophrenia and has an extensive history of being non-compliant.

A lot of my psychiatrist's patients are on CTOs so they must get regular injections or else they will get arrested. I don't ever want to get to that point.

I'm not exactly med compliant. I don't like antipsychotics. They take away my 'perceptual slippages' way too much. I like those experiences and can function okay with them most of the time. I'll only take medication if my agitation gets really bad or I'm feeling confused about reality. I've never been on antipsychotics for more than one year at time.


When I first tried skating in hockey skates I kept falling on my butt. My hockey pants protected me so it wasn't too bad. It took some time to get used to the hockey skates especially since I learned how to skate in figure skates.

I got it every two weeks so I guess it's probably still in my system

What's a CTO?

Community treatment order pretty much forced treatment....they call it AOT In the US...

Outpatient commitment - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

i was on a depot for a long time but i had to fight to get myself off. they want me back on it at the clinic but i dont want it. not everyone who gets it has obvious schizophrenia but when i was getting it i was pretty bad so idk

i mean my clinic wants me back on it. idk how bad i am right now. but yea i do have an extensive history of being non-compliant. idk...

I've seen you in a bad place on depot too though...it was hurting you psychologically but I think you were more stable on it as far as psychosis just worse for depression, lost creativity etc.

yea i suppose thats true. it did make me depressed for many reasons. because i didnt want to be on it and because the chemical reaction of it to my brain made me depressed. and definitely i lost creativity and couldnt do school when i was on it and like work like thinking critically and logically. it also made my memory worse than what it is now. i also still had a bit of psychosis on it but yea i have more when im not on meds.

but if im not well on depot/meds and not well off then whats my future? what am i supposed to do?

heres me at my skinniest. this is what i want to get back down to.

You may have just needed an antidepressant in addition to the depot like you have now.....I think though if you try depot again you need to go in with a different thought process....to think of it as 80-90 % effective but at a price and be ok with that. You were really fighting the whole process before....

i suppose...
i really didnt want to be on it then. i still dont because i feel like i dont have control over my own body. plus i immediately gained 20 pounds from it in 6 months and then another 10 pounds the month after that. and then this past summer i gained 24 pounds. 18 of which ive lost. i have so much to lose

it wasnt just the weight gain that killed me and made me depressed too. like you said i lost all my creativity literally and my inability to think and lost memory. that killed me too.