Roll Call 45

Or turn up the radio

im sorry newtus for whats going on with u

You're welcome. I hate that you go through so much... it's so sad that your mother isn't supportive.

i feel like crying again

i hate life

I'm so stressed about uni I've got so much work to do. Found out I have to do a presentation. I can't stand up in front of people and talk I just can't. Got exams coming up and I just know I'm guna fail. Sometimes I wish I'd never started this degree cos I've got all this stress on top of everything else

the thing with that is is that i can personally only listen to so much crap before i get bored to listening to music. plus ill drain my phone. i like listening to music on the way to the grocery store but im the person who likes to talk on road trips. i cant sleep because im afraid shell try to kill me.

Thing I've noticed is that the sedation of risperidone lasts 14 or so hours and the hunger effect lasts all day which sucks considering it's treated for psychosis when you're eating normal -.-

Podcasts or audiobooks are great so are car chargers....you could all listen to a story together, it would give you something neutral to talk about....

Bean - sorry youre having a bad time right now

Justme - you'll be fine with the presentation, it always seems worse than it actually is when you do it

If my nurse just thinks that I'm sick, she must think I'm really ****ed up with something's I say, but it's not my thoughts.

Thanks kureha.
Don't worry in sure your nurse has heard it all before. That's what my cpn tells me.

i just dont want to do this.

I can relate...

Thanks Justme, I really hope she has - I'm going to have to ask her when she's back.

i woke up today to a flat tire. i had to wait in the tire place for 2 hours!!! they patched the tire and changed the oil and then the guy said one of my belts was about to snap. so they replaced it. he said the oil change is free bc i waited so long. what a crappy morning!!!

Practice your presentation with your boyfriend or if you can't, stand up in your room and practice out loud to your teddy bears (that's what Alan Turing used to do ) If you can, use slides then put a good amount of effort into them as they can save you if you get stuck or lose your focus. I found the only way I could do presentations in college was if I had spoken them out loud a few times beforehand. You'll do fine! What year are you in at Uni?

At least they did the oil change for free! Car troubles are the worst!

I have a small 7 day pill box for day and night. I'll ask my mom to put two 36mg x 7 Concertas in the box every week, give it to me and check on it any time she wants so I don't double dose or something. Then I'll tell my psychiatrist and he'll trust me. I think it's a good idea.

Thanks chicken yeah I'll do that see if it helps. Thankfully it's only 10% it's just the fact I have to do it. I'm in my first year.

I hope you're doing better aka bean

Good to hear you're doing well

I feel the same about my current pdoc, I went today asking about benzo's and he said I was already on too much meds so he just increased my sleeping tablet. At first I was a little annoyed but then I realised that they don't want me going around like a zombie or needing benzo's to cope. If there where more doctors like that we wouldn't have the problem of withdrawal from long term benzo use.

They're trying to get me to see the pdocs down here in the town I'm in now and they're just the opposite! Really hope I don't have to change.

Yeah, I talked to incompetent doc today. He was of the ignorant belief that the Lexapro was causing the panic attacks and anxiety. I had to set him straight. It was the medicine before that--It was the Wellbutrin that caused the brain damage that resulted in the anxiety and panic attacks, and that's why he put me on Lexapro to begin with. Jesus Christ. I'm getting sick of working with incompetents.

Then I questioned how the Lamictal will treat Anxiety and panic attacks and he said, "well taking you off the Lexapro should do that". I then had to reiterate what I just said. He then calmly said that the lamictal might get rid of the anxiety and panic attacks depending on what's causing them. If not, then there is a side effect drug that he will put me on and take me off the benzos. I'm losing my patience.

He should have taken me off the Wellbutrin to begin with when I told him I was suicidal while on it after taking it a year. Instead he upped the dosage like that was going to help when it never showed improvement.

These meds will **** with my memory, I don't want my memory ****ed with. I'm already dealing with serious side effects. Memory loss and impairment is not one im willing to risk. I've so had it with pharmacology.

All they had to do was put me on Geodon and 6 months of an SSRI and Everything would have been fine. I've been going through hell for 3 years now because they didn't do that to begin with.

I can't speak for your uni but I know when I was in first year we weren't expected to be perfect. They let you away with a lot more when they're grading for presentations and generally score you high if you've made an effort. You can really tell when someone hasn't prepared their presentation.

Do you probably only have about 12 weeks left of study before your exams? I think you can do it and then enjoy a deadly summer off to clear your head. Don't give up, keep on top of your assignments and just put effort into it. They'll know by reading your work if you're trying.

Does the pattern behind where we post always move around? Circles moving around, like on a pond. Anyone seeing this?

Yeah I think they let you off with a lot more so I'm just telling myself that it will be okay. Yeah I've only got a couple or so months left till exams and I have to read loads of books and memorise quotes and critics and stuff. I really feel like just giving up but I'm just guna try and push on. I can't give in now I've come this far. But just thinking that I've got two more years of this **** is enough to make me panic.
Thanks for the hug