Roll Call 49

Don't be sorry---its a big deal and for those of us that have been there we understand---

thank you :/
im prob asking for too much. i really havent been asking for help except from my immediate family. i really dont want to ask extended family for many reasons. one being after having that convo with my aunt that i didnt even ask for her opinion and the various other people who gave me their opinions that i wasnt even talking about school. they roped me in to talking about it.

i feel like i trust you guys and thats why im asking. and ive been asking my dad mainly too. i asked my mom and sister and they literally only have a few words to say to me. which was basically on the lines of "do what youd like to do?". ok well id like to do a lot of things...so? ugh idk.

Just lost my favorite dog at work. Cried in front the owner.

Sorry Door

i had really weird symptoms 2day

usually with community colleges you get the core classes knocked out then transfer to a university to study more indepth on your major. u dont really need a major in community college if ur plan is to transfer

hey guys. i saw T earlier. i gave him his bday card. he said awwwww. lol.

then i hung out with my friend. we went shpping at goodwill. i got some work pants. and i got some shirts. and i got these colored tea light candle holders and a huge bag of tea light candles. im home now and toby is laying on me and purring.

yesterday i went out with my other friend. she is kind of rude. i told her my dads bday was on sunday and she just looked at me and said "your dads dead". like no **** asshole!!!!!! i was so shocked. i texted her when i got home and told her it was rude and hurtful. she apologized. i dont understand why she said that!!! it was soooo mean. i texted the other T i used to meet with before i left the program. (he is her therapist). he sent me this really helpful long text. i responded and said thank u for caring. he sent back "i always will". so that made me feel good

i have two 7am shifts this week

oh well!

thats true and ive done a lot of reading on that for years. the thing is certain majors im gonna need to take certain classes for them in undergraduate studies. my plan is to transfer - yes. thats my long term plan for doing my courses. but i read up on certain majors from different universities i wanted to goto and some of them require that i have taken some courses related to my major in my transfer work.

most of my classes right now are core classes. but a few of them will have to be somewhere toward my major.

i see. im in the same boat. i dont know what i want to do and ive been taking classes on and off for 8 years....

Just a random question but for those of you who remember your dreams do you ever dream from more than one perspective like you can switch to whatever the dominant role is at the moment--ie whoever is talking or do you just play one character all the time or even just yourself?

A nurse asked me about hygiene and ya now I need to change clothes and shower brush my teeth but nah I'll do it later..

I don't sweat so it feels like I just showered even after a week.

If this has something to do with a psychosis I'm sure but ring ring.. The ciggies are confirmed

I'm going swimming in the morning anyways

I haven't eaten in like two days and I'm still not hungry but they aren't checking my weight often so... I'll just keep skipping meals until I'm hungry. I'll just blame it on the Abilfy because it is the abilify. It's like a hard chore for me right now.

#First World Problens

But seriously lol i need something to give me the munchies. They took my 120 risperdals away.

One thing I know is an I sure that I took 92 klonopins? Maybe I put then into another bottle and they are still at home. But I had like 30 from what I remember and then I have a few visions of me pouring the rest down my throat. But idk if I did. I couldn't have.

Just posting thoughts. This place really helps organize my thoughts.

wow. yea ive been at this for 5 years now i think. are you at a community college?

i usually "play myself" or just am myself but theres been a few dreams where i was in different roles during a dream.

You mean like lucid dreaming? I had some really amazing dreams while fully lucid. It felt so real that I stopping running and breaking stuff incase I woke up.

I have a degree in the humanities. I have a BA in philosophy. There are plenty of jobs out there. I just d don't want an office job. I wanted to become a professor. However,ba's are transferable into other programs such as masters of social work. I'd you choose philosophy he prepared to write a lot of analytical papers. I took the Meyers Briggs personality test. Got infj. It also shows careers that much up with who you are. Apparently I could become a leader part of a cleric. Lol

No it wasn't a lucid dream it's more like listening was boring and passive so I was always the active character regardless of who it was male/female child/adult whatever----I don't do it every time but I was talking with someone who hasn't had it happen at all.

oooh i see.
i took the myers briggs at the career center in college a few years ago. i got INTP but everytime i take it online i get either INTP or INTJ.

yes..community college

im sorry if you said it before.
i forget things a lot.
i try to rake in a lot of info.
but idk why i frget stuff. i also get confused very easily.

are you comfortable saying how many credits youve earned so far?

i dont remember off the top of my head. maybe like 15? i really dont know lol. i dropped out of a lot of classes years ago. bc i would get hospitalized or would just stop going. i wasted a lot of money and time doing that

wow. me too. the main reason why i failed school was psychotic episodes and having to goto hospital many times. plus having psychotic episodes in school and police picking me up. then i decided to give up on school and quit. its been over a year and then this december i decided to go because i needed something to do with my time. thats still the reason im doing school but as long as im doing it i want to make good choices with what i take because i could have another major psychotic episode and may not to do school. so if do get super sick again i can pick up where i left off.

ive been going in and out of college for 5 years and i only have 7 credits i think.

It is so nice to be somewhere with people that get it. I am so grateful for this board.

we are grateful for you

Thank you

I have a choice between the abilify injection and the Invega injection

I'll ask my mom if any of them is covered by insurance. Maybe someone else knows so idk

Pros
I'm starting Invega and replacing from abilify which will help to give me an appetie.
Stops me from the "I stopped taking my meds" phenomenon.
I could get used to abilify
Cons
it could make me fat
I could get side effects that I haven't had with abilify.

I have a great fear of risperidone and paliperidone because they are horrible drugs. I want to decrease it eventually

I have to put trust in these people. I don't want to go through what newtus went through. An the haldol barely even worked I think

I night get 150mg injection then 8 days later it's the 100mg injection then it's every month

I just feel like abilify is much cleaner unlike the nasty risperdal. It really helps with my paranoia and risperdal didn't it just made me have this chemically unnatural depression and sedation