Roll Call 52

Open your eyes see all the love in me
I got enough forever
Don't be afraid
Tickle your knees with me
We'll be strong together

Hmm, not sure if I'm hearing voices or if it's just the neighbors.

Newtus, I stumbled upon a book in my library that I long forgot about when I was taking a philosophy of mind course. It's called The Mind. The editor is a man named Daniel Robinson.
The Mind (Oxford Readers): Daniel Robinson: 9780192893086: Amazon.com: Books

I honestly think he is one of the greatest teachers. His books read really slow. I'd definitely recommend a pin and or even a highlighter when diving into any of his works. However, this one is a collection of works that he selected on the mind body
problem. He is an agnostic ontologist, so he doesn't take a strict stance on what sort of stuff exists. His prose style is beautiful.

Honestly, this book goes into the ancients like the Upanishads, Pythagoras, Plato, Aristotle, and so many contemporaries. Robinson, at the beginning of each chapter, summarizes all the arguments. Trims the essays to take out the fluff, and gives a fair share to each side.

It was edited in 1998, so it's not going to have David Chalmers' dual aspect theory or Sharp's embodied cognition theory. However it has classic works in here, and even poetry at the very end which makes one ask, "Is poetry grounded in the viscera?" This book is good for the soul.

I work as a painter and drywaller by day. I work along beside my boss. He's just a great guy, a gentle giant who lets everything slide off his back. He has a few sayings like:

Next problem
Everything is fixable in America
Kill them with kindness
We just got to show up and fight
It's like a dance

I mess up all the time. As long as we act we err (Faust).

Want to hear an epic ****up? I was driving the big company van in the city. I took it down this tiny alley. I even had to twist the mirrors in and I scraped a HUGE part of the back of the van! I was shaking! I offered to pay for the paintjob and everything. I in such shock that I instinctively called him and told him right away. He said okay, and then he later saw it and said, Oh it's not that bad, I thought you bent the door joint so we couldn't get the door open. We can buff this out. Later that day we go to the bar and have a few drinks. The first beer I had everyone, including my boss, were saying, "woah! I don't think your going to fit that pitcher into the glass, Stephen! The jokes didn't stop. I wasn't sure if it was more humiliating or nerve-racking. I felt so bad. I kept on offering to pay for the scratches. It just so happened that we had a chemical to get the scratches off, because all it was was layers of paint from the ally graffiti. Phew.

I hate it when that happens....

Good morning!

Sitting in the hallway at 8am.. As the smokers pass (pretty much everyone in this damn hospital), I shall follow but ya it's really sunny out side I might take a pic

good morning bluebird

Old 1950's hospital pic I just took..

Smoke area..


My room (I snook my phone in and took a pic simply because I'm not allowed)..


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its rainy here. i still feel sick. i just barfed from coughing too hard. i feel so tired. i hope its just allergies. i bought some zyrtec to take with my prescription allergy med.

Feel better

thank u. i have severe allergies. so im hoping its just that. and not really sick, like flu or something.

since i threw up i dont know if my morning meds are in me or not. i didnt really think to look for them when i threw up. now i dont know what to do. i dont want to take more and then it be too much. but i dont want to not have any in my system. i dont know if they came up or not. so now idk what to do

As soon as I see clouds coming in which is unlikely, I'll smoke that last Cuban cigar cuz I'm an informal patient today after over 2 months. It's grown on me which I was trying to prevent and also leave, stop my meds etc.. I'll be leaving soon and can't really comprehend how glad I am to be here and then leave.

That walk outside just now makes me happy to be alive. This woman and I were walking around the hospital in opposite directions and I said I'll take a pic of the old hospital. It's cold outside but calm and said good morning when I usually don't talk to people and I have her respect from when I asked her for a smoke when I didn't have any but I have some now and still say hi or good morning.

Or just the Vyvanse kicking in.

I found it funny that I was on 4 antipsychotics and 6+ other meds but I was patient and stuck it out but I wouldn't survive in any other psychiatric hospital now that I've been here..

The last hospital I was in was just a locked unit. There was no going outside or going anywhere for that matter. The biggest escape I had was the shower lol. The hospital before had an outdoor area for smoking 4 times daily but now they are smoke free too. We were able to walk outside to get to the gym when they allowed us to. I'm jealous of the nice hospitals

well i took another invega just in case. but not the other ones.

Rainy day here, just relaxing.

Junk, weren't you on Invega Sustenna? I have been on it a year, I'm trying to figure out which med is causing the weight problem.

I'm on Depakote, paxil, Invega Sustenna, Zyprexa and Trazodone. I wonder which is the biggest culprit

My uneducated guess would be the Zyprexa.

I've gained about 10lbs since being on Zyprexa 5mg, I started it a few months ago. That's not too bad, but I'm leaning toward the Invega 117mg IM/ once a month. because I did gain 50lbs the first 5 months of it

I've put on about 10 lbs with the Zyprexa as well. I no longer have the increased appetite but I can't seem to drop any weight.

Listening to my daughter on the phone with her little friend makes me giggle. They are too funny

I told the spiritual girl what I was going to do. Even though I don't believe in god, we could feel the spirits and ghosts and just connected more as friends.

Right before the clouds came, I texted my dad that I'm smoking his last cigar and I got there right when my dad was boarding on the plane back to Argentina so we texted. When he was here, he said that I had enough butane and then it's my time. and I ran out. Couldn't get the lighter to light at all. But I went back for a lighter and continued on my spiritual path in a way.

Before that my dad didn't know what an informal patient was and I told him right after I showed him the pic of the old mental hospital, he thought that I had to go to that hospital for six months so he texted my mom and then she freaked out until I explained myself lol.

I left the last bit of the cigar in the box and closed it, put it by the curb I was sitting on and left because maybe someone else will walk there and see what I did, allowing that person to realize an 80 dollar box of cigars with one smoked and get the picture.

I think I have been misdiagnosed, looking back I only really hallucinated while in a manic episode. Also, the paranoia happened outside the episode but I think that was just an episode. Maybe I'm not Schizoaffective Bipolar Type but rather my original diagnosis of Bipolar 1 with psychotic features.

I guess I'll ask my pdoc this week.

Really bad heartburn, took pepto bismal but it's not helping

I'm afriad that university won't accept me because I've been in and out of highschool since I was 16 for the hospital. They'll think I'm unstable and that I won't complete it or? Idk especially if they know about my diagnosis.

I need a schoolig advisor if they have one here atm because a few times I did one on one with a guy that came from Britain and I'm Irish so we don't know how it works here in north emuricah. I'm not going to be here and the actual advisor is on holidays.

Stained - It's been a while (Listened to that on loud speaker while I was walking this morning). I'm becoming more calm on the Abilify.

I lost 1kg this week. I think it's the Vyvanse but it has a cross tolerance with methylphenidate or I guess it doesn't. I can eat. I just need someone to make me eat and if I don't then I don't get my phone but ya they aren't allowed to make someone eat so what ever I'll wait until the threat to lower the Vyvanse. That will make me eat because I'm so heavily dependent on stimulants.

To be frank, I think that staff at hospitals taking away everything like this is less about safety and more about being controlling ***holes to the patients. Obvious things I can understand, ie razor blades, belts, and the like. But an Apple charger? There is no way someone could kill themselves with that(they're not nearly long enough for ****'s sake) unless they ate it but that is highly unlikely. What a bunch of ****ing morons.