Roll Call 52

Lol oh god I know exactly what you mean!

That many meds is serious ****ing overkill. What the **** is wrong with these people?

I have only been to a couple of "nicer" hospitals. Most of the ones I've been to are ****holes.

He said I can't get the charger back. I'm "banned" lol told to get my own that got stolen..

This morning a guy wasn't allowed to have a smoke outside because they would say "No you didn't" when he said that he took a shower and then she said that he has to have a supervised shower and if he wasn't supervised, he'd have to do it again.

Thank you so much. I know I'm not crazy because the staff makes me think that.

I'm going to steal the charger behind the counter when I get a chance but I feel like putting it around their neck because you need someone to choke while unconscious eh? Idek

In my opinion Schizoaffective disorder is a trashcan diagnosis doctors use when they aren't sure if it's schizophrenia or bipolar I with psychotic features. I've gotten that diagnosis almost every time I've been in the hospital even though I do not have any mood problems. And I was misdiagnosed with schizoaffective this time last year due to me coming down with hypothyroidism. That was not fun. I argued with my psychiatrist for months last year until I got extensive blood work done and sure enough I was correct. My psychiatrist was pretty embarrassed about having misdiagnosed me like that without making sure there was no physical issues that were mimicking mood symptoms...

Residual paranoia seems to be common in a lot of people with BP I with psychosis, it doesn't mean you're schizoaffective. For you to be schizoaffective you have to meet the criteria for schizophrenia outside of a mood episode. That means of course, that two "positive" symptoms of schizophrenia must be present along with the "negative" symptoms of the illness. All you've been talking about outside of your mood episodes is residual paranoia. That doesn't sound like schizoaffective to me, but hey I'm not a psychiatrist so what do I know? Never mind that I've read the DSM-5 cover to cover, and it turns out I know it better than my psychiatrist does! Pffft.

I'm an informal patient now so I can have some fun too. When my battery runs out, I'm going to smash the apple charger on the floor. They can kick me out like they did to my roommate that had a drug problem and just wanted help..

I might not get my phone back but I'm pissed at what this staff has done to me. They just lock people up in the side room and I'm pretty sure I heard a girl screaming in there last night with a man shouting at her.

Locked my friend up, and another girl that just wanted to go outside.

They're going to say that the unit charger is for emergencies probably but they can just get a new one easy like me eh? Or use someone else's cord??

This isn't a delusion. When my phone dies, I'm doing it for everyone here.

I figured that they were idiots a long time ago but I keep saying it's my fault because of schizophrenia. Imagine how pissed I am to be deluded and think these * are getting paid 150 dollars an hour or whatever to do this ****..

What a bunch of morons. Staff at psych hospitals are for the most part control freaks who like controlling the mentally ill because it makes them feel good about themselves. All in all, pathetic.

Don't you love how it's us schizophrenics that are called "crazy" when many of these staff members at these hospitals can act more ****ed up than someone like you or me ever could? But we are the ones that have to take antipsychotics. Cute, really.

Today has seemed to drag on forever. I don't know why either.

yes...234mg every 3 wks. im off it now. invega zyprexa and depakote are all weight gainer meds

my pdoc at the program i was in dx me with schizoaffective. i didnt agree w/ that. i didnt know about it til i saw the NP in Ts office. she said that was my diagnosis. i said mmmm..... she said u dont agree? i said i think i have ptsd with psychosis. i guess my official dx is PTSD and psychotic d.o nos. but we think my psychosis comes from trauma

i have no energy at all ive been lying in bed most of the day. well i did my homework thats due tonight. im coughing a lot. i cant figure out if im hot or cold

debating taking a seroquel and committing to falling asleep or...........laying here half awake half asleep and coughing.

i think im addicted to stress because theres no way i can goto school under the conditions im experiencing. i keep going back to stressful situation no matter how much anxiety i have or how much im hearing voices or how much paranoia im experiencing i just cant stop myself. i cant stop going and moving and doing things.

yet im not schizoaffective because my doctor and therapist admitted i have no major depressive symptoms that affect me.

The dude on the inflatable dinosaur who was like "England? England?" then Dylan Moran "No, Northern Ireland" and they both start crying! Love it! Very fitting at the end, especially when you can just hear the cigarette go out! How I hadn't seen that short I don't know.

Something is wrong. Very wrong. I've noticed that I haven't had that feel good, moving, feeling, ike when you get to a high point in music or movie, or when I have a couple beers, or when I have a cup of coffee, or when I think to myself. It's like I'm numb to that feeling.

My psychiatrist said that it's probably the lithium, there are reports of that. However, lithium takes 5 days to get out of your system, and I've tapered down from 3 pills to now just one. At the end of the month Ill be taking no lithium. So around a week into March It should be out of my system completely.

One pill and I still can't feel that highest moment type of feeling. I'm worried that as long as Im on Lamictal Ill never have that feeling again. I'm thankful I'm off an SSRI, it wasn't for me, I can feel a lot of emotions, just not my favorite, inspiring, in awe feeling.

What a ****ing side effect.

Sorry I vent so much. I'm thankful for the support you ladies and gents give though. Thank you.

I almost lost it. A friend and I went for a smoke and sat in the sunlight for a bit so I feel calmer. I've never been as pissed off and agitated at the staff since I was admitted. They saw me shaking violently and asked if I was ok. I said I was anxious almost in panic so they would leave me alone. Hahah? I don't get anxiety but I did this time and it brings back memories of panic. What if I went psychotic? They'll put me in the side room. They take my phone away because I couldn't do groups when the injection was wearing off because of negative symptoms getting really bad so why not? That's what I get for having schizophrenia. I didn't smash the charger but I will later and then the nurses will be baffled by how calm I would be haha they won't because I'll just be another schizophrenic "out of control" - needs to be locked up like an animal and tackled to the ground on code white, blue or what ever the *. It's almost the same as the guy on youtube that was smoking tobacco out of a bong in public. The police tackled him because they thought it was weed. WEED. Idk though because my agitation is instant. I tried calming down before I cause destruction and usually I don't do that so I'm proud of myself.. It's the max I can be proud or even care about myself. I'm doing better so I'll let it go but that really got to me that I was a bit deluded on the max injection of Abilify but I guess I should wait until it stabilizes in the blood..

Looks like I hit the lottery with my doctor's med choices

these chicks are driving me nucking futs

i had to move them to a different room
i cant have them in my bedroom right now where i spend most of my time.
i have a splitting headache

sorry small changes can help. like eating healthier and smaller portions. i know its hard to change ur diet though.

i give up. i took my night meds.

My choice to stop doing something I hate, is now preventing us from buying a house. Yay.

what happened?

I went behind the counter and broke the charger and then bought my own from a taxi guy that went to the gas station.. I made a huge scene lol was thinking of lighting up a cigarette on the unit in front of them but I'm good now..