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#251
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When I'm alone, the tv sends me messages
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Schizoaffective, PTSD, Anxiety
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![]() Axiom, junkDNA
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![]() cogladaid
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#252
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Uhh took 4 Ativans to calm me down. After a bummer of a time. Now I feel like I have no legs. Suhweet.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Schizoaffective, PTSD, Anxiety
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#253
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i get this with tv/movies/music sometimes. a lot of the time i can ignore it and just go on. but i guess during more vulnerable times i get really sucked into it. when i was hearing voices every day i would listen to music without words .
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![]() cogladaid
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#254
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#255
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Didn't think I'd be posting in here anytime soon but here we are.
I've noticed paranoid thoughts creeping into my mind a bit over the past week or so. At first I just dismissed them as soon as they came to me but now they are starting to linger. In particular the past two days my old fear that I am being staked online has resurfaced. It's not overwhelming me but still I've been without paranoia for many months now so it is a bit disappointing especially as I am hoping to try going med-free in a months time. I feel now it's going to restart a negative cycle of looking for things which don't feel right. That's a trap I don't want to fall into.
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![]() Anonymous37804, Axiom, Door2015, junkDNA, neil w, Sometimes psychotic
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![]() cogladaid
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#256
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Quote:
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Hugs! ![]() |
![]() Loial
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#257
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Thanks door. I'm feeling better. Will be calling pnp tomorrow
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Schizoaffective, PTSD, Anxiety
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#258
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#259
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I think I may be psychotic instead of immortal. I'm not sure. Nothing makes sense.
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![]() Axiom, Door2015, Sometimes psychotic
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![]() Angelique67, cogladaid
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#260
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I think someone poisoned me. I can't really think and I'm so tired.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
![]() Door2015, junkDNA, Loial, Sometimes psychotic
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#261
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![]() I've been struggling with loneliness again lately and wrote this. It basically sums up how I feel. Quote:
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![]() Door2015, junkDNA, Loial, Sometimes psychotic, Tsunamisurfer
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![]() Angelique67, Axiom, Loial, Sometimes psychotic
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#262
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Have you ever seen warm bodies your poem reminded me of it...
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Hugs! ![]() |
#263
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A new thing has come to me and I don't know what it means. It happens at night but also during the day. I see and feel things then they quickly go away. Feel things in my body but also not where my body is. Random parts of my body will twitch quickly while it happens, usually my arms or legs. When I close my eyes it happens twice as often and I twitch more. I see a lot of really creepy stuff. Disgusting creepy crawly crab legs. Two men half-submerged in water, facing the same direction, their heads bent down at an angle towards the shore, frantically pressing and dragging the palms of their hands against their faces so you can't see them. Always creepy and weird. Not sure if I'm supposed to figure this out or ignore it.
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![]() Door2015
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#264
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Thanks for replying though. And everyone else for the hugs. *Willow* |
#265
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As for the tactile and visual hallucinations, I don't really know what to suggest other than tell your pdoc. I get lots of tactile sensations that seem to have no physical origin, and it can get really, really bad at times. All I can do is try to breathe through it, which is incredibly difficult, but it always goes away eventually and hurting myself wouldn't solve anything ![]() *Willow* |
![]() Axiom
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#266
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I was looking at the mirror and I caught the thing in the mirror blinking before me. Ha, I knew it was still there. It was trying to make me all reassured yesterday but I didn't believe it. I know it's still there.
And they are still watching me. Followed today again. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
#267
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![]() *Willow* |
#268
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Mirrors are hard to avoid. They're everywhere. I look away and cover as much as I can but sometimes I have no choice. They watch me and all the people outside watch me as well. They follow me and talk about me and report back to headquarters. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
#269
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![]() Sorry you also experience strange tactile sensations. ![]() |
#270
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I need to get back into my spiritual practices but I'm too afraid to. I keep thinking I'll get delusional or something, so I neglect it and then I feel even worse.
It feels like my family think I'm psychotic more often than not, which doesn't make sense because in that case they -should- be helping me find better meds or something. But then there's the sense that I'm just being paranoid, as usual. I'm at that point where I no longer trust anything I perceive.
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SZ, MDD, ADHD, PTSD, GAD....wut.
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![]() Door2015
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#271
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Quote:
![]() Quote:
![]() *Willow* |
#272
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I'm avoiding feelings for the last few days. Keeping busy and distracting. Logically the feelings shouldn't be there, but feelings aren't always logical, and life has shown me that feelings I don't feel come back to bite me on the arse in the future.
I haven't even journalled about what has happened, and that's normally how I process things, but I'm scared that I will start crying and not stop. Crying feels melodramatic and attention seeking, which feels shameful because I don't want that. And vulnerability. But maybe I wouldn't cry? Maybe I'm not feeling sad because the sadness really isn't there? Maybe there's no sadness to suppress? But the only way to know would be to poke at the metaphorical wound and see if it bleeds, which feels forced and fake and...ridiculous. I always say that crying feels ridiculous to me (my crying, not others). My last T asked why crying was "worthy of ridicule", and it just always was...bullies at school, my abusive grandmother etc. It is my shameful secret; done only when absolutely unavoidable, and then alone and in the dark. I know it's messed up. One of my brothers wears his heart on his sleeve and he is the most mentally healthy of the lot of us. But does he get support and acceptance because he wears his heart on his sleeve, or does he wear his heart on his sleeve because he gets support and acceptance?? Maybe some people are allowed to get support and others just aren't?! I like being very introspective, but I often think that I would be healthier mentally if I wasn't as much as I am... Apologies for the rambling. *Willow* |
![]() Axiom, Door2015, junkDNA, Sometimes psychotic
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![]() Axiom
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#273
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I just wish people in real life would leave me alone already.
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![]() Axiom, Door2015, Sometimes psychotic
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#274
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At times I have felt like the birds are talking to me/about me. Its quite unsettling. |
![]() cogladaid
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#275
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me too emma me too
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"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"
The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII |
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