Roll Call 59

I'd get him a card if it isn't much money.

I got my pdoc a thank you card once, it was weird he didn't even open it in front of me but ran into the hall to thank me once he opened it. He actually started asking me questions like I was OK or not and then I just looked confused got up and left. I later ran into him again on the bus and he mentioned the card which he had run across recently. SO he kept it even during the move, obviously he liked it but was worried it meant something about me.

In contrast I got my T chocolates and a card and she was kind of weird about it in a no you shouldn't have way but also happy.

It's awkward but they actually like it if that makes sense.....

I got my therapist a card and gift once. She was real big on the book "If you meet Buddha on the Road, Kill Him." In simplicity - it's basically about not making an idol of your therapist. Anyway, so one Christmas I got her a card, and a little Buddha desk statue. It was nice - I looked everywhere trying to find one that was small, not cartoonish, that would be appropriate. Anyway, so I gave that to her with a card where I wrote a simple note of appreciation. I think it can be awkward for therapists, because they worry about what it means to us to do that. But my therapist was gracious.

The weather this week will be in the 100s+. Texas...

My friend was kind of mean today and I'm kind of tired of people but I'll be fine.

im tired of people too. using me.

i dont think it would be a problem

People say they understand, but most of the time they don't they just lie
I went to day treatment today and found out that this group is all diagnoses and not just schizophrenia like my last day treatment

So go figure no one there has schizophrenia so no one can relate to me

@chickenfoot ive given my T gifts. but some Ts have a policy on gift giving. like they wont ethically accept them. maybe you could ask your T if he would accept a card. if he says yes then u can buy him a card and maybe write a nice note in it

i went to the vet and got flea medicine for toby, like the good kind. he seems ok and i did well when i put it on him. i didnt get it everywhere. i hope this works

I do the same exact thing. Part of me thinks it's some kind of attachment/abandonment issue.

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ya thats what i am thinking. it reminds me of object constancy in infants.

I went to the new psychiatrist but I didn't bother with the paper work. Part of their treatment is holistic (which I don't believe works) and you can only get your refill the day of your appointment and they drug test you your first appointment and randomly to make sure you're taking your meds and if you miss your appointment, it's $45. Like. What if I can't make my appointment and I run out of Xanax and can't make it there for another week? I'm supposed to just sit there and be like "well this sucks. I hope I don't have a seizure. I hope I can come up with $70 for my next appointment to get my meds refilled". Plus random drug tests just feels like insurance milking. Medicaid psychiatrist don't give a ****, I guess. None of them ever bothered. This was the first non-Medicaid p-doc I've been too. I used only my primary insurance instead of both.

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Yea medicaid psychiatrists are bad. I see mine for 5 minutes and never let's me explain how I've felt or though. I just see him scribbling my meds and then he says that's it here you go.

They probably have to make sure they aren't prescribing for people who are getting the meds to support an addiction, or getting the meds and not taking them - and instead are selling them. I know it probably feels invasive and all, but it might really mean you've got a decent doctor who isn't going to exploit you. And most doctors have that kind of no-show policy. But in my experience, if you truly have some kind of emergent thing that keeps you from being able to go - and you give them as much notice as you can, they usually waive the no-show fee. Especially if it rarely happens.

Thanks! It would be working as an overnight counselor in a crisis stabilization center. I am super excited for it!

Just afraid that I will be too financially stressed...

I have to get a doctor's order to get a MRI or even go to a spinal doctor. So I have to wait 3-4 weeks and hope it doesn't get worse. This strange back pain just happened randomly. I was just sitting and my back started hurting. Throughout that day it progressed to the point where I couldn't stand. It's embarrassing to be picked up by an ambulance. At the hospital, my loving family accuses me of faking it to get pills for my boyfriend's mom and LITTLE sister. Wtf, does my family just sit around and make ***** up to mess with my mind. I'm done trying to communicate decently with them. I'm going to wait for them to talk to me. They never called concerned. I was crying on the phone because I was scared to death because I couldn't walk. Anyways, my back hasn't been hurting probably because of the pain medication, but my leg and foot are still 'asleep'. Every time I'm hurt, I always think it's cancer and I google about it and freak myself out. I have some symptoms which freaks me out, but I doubt that's the case. But I'm genetically prone to cancer. Highly.

Look at my new friend

toby always lets me know where the bugs are

my cat too 🏻️

my threads always go fast

hey chickenfoot are you ok?

i talked to T about my dad and how i feel like a bad person when i talk about what he did to me. he said something about how i defend my parents. well i feel like thats what i have to do, its so complicated and screwed up. especially with my dad. my mom and my relationship has gotten a lot better. i feel like my dad can hear me talking about it even though hes dead. so i try to respect him and just not talk about it.

Can't afford my meds because insurance med coverage maxed out for this year. My mom bought the 750 dollar Abilify injection for 200 dollars covered with what was left.

Idk if I can get the welfare emergency med coverage card because I'm probably in one of the most difficult situations because it's so complecated. They gave me free meds for August where hopefully my disability hurries up because it can take 6-10 months for them.

I wanted to walk out and just give up but what if my mom gives up? Saying that I can't achieve my goals.. It's true. I can't study but I don't want to have a college trade. My mom never gives up for me. She said she would work for every penny. I can't keep putting her through this. It's not fair to her. I told her not to buy the injection but she insisted.

Guess my psychiatrist will fill out papers because my inpatient said he would but I never knew I had to remind him ffs. Also going to get info from my old psychiatrist.

Abilify injection is not covered.

Abandoning my English course.. They said if I'm a student, they can't do anything.

My mom says that I'm a bit symptomatic right now. Going to sleep..

Something really bad is going to happen I just know. I can feel it.

Yes.. I obsess over drugs. But there's a reason. No matter how many drugs I use to cover my pain, it's still there. Watching people live their lives. All my friends on Facebook having fun, enjoying life. The life that I miss.