Roll Call 59

A18793715 · Aug 05, 2015, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alone_and_Afraid

I'm tempted to take two muscle relaxers because people say it feels good, but I feel like it would kill me.

What do you take? I take somas. I've taken two but every time I do, I fall asleep. I don't recommend that because it can cause seizures.

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Angelique67 · Aug 05, 2015, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alone_and_Afraid

Possible trigger:

I have a strong suicide plan. I'm getting all the beneficiaries of all my assets to my boyfriend. Handwrite a living will. Make sure we are settled in our new house with no problem. I think about taking a whole bottle of Tramadol. The funny thing is that I'm scared to die so I would immediately tell someone I did it. I don't know I have this scenario replaying in my head that I drive to the hospital then take the whole bottle. Like I want to die, but I don't. It's confusing. I Would do it out of revenge on my family to show them I'm serious, and they need to take me seriously. I'll put that in the note.

Sorry I can't stop thinking of this...need guidance...

If you need to go inpatient do it without taking the pills! They'll pump your stomach, etc. It wouldn't be fun. Don't take out your rage on your body. Go into the woods and throw rocks or something instead. I've been where you are.

A18793715 · Aug 05, 2015, 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alone_and_Afraid

Possible trigger:

I have a strong suicide plan. I'm getting all the beneficiaries of all my assets to my boyfriend. Handwrite a living will. Make sure we are settled in our new house with no problem. I think about taking a whole bottle of Tramadol. The funny thing is that I'm scared to die so I would immediately tell someone I did it. I don't know I have this scenario replaying in my head that I drive to the hospital then take the whole bottle. Like I want to die, but I don't. It's confusing. I Would do it out of revenge on my family to show them I'm serious, and they need to take me seriously. I'll put that in the note.

Sorry I can't stop thinking of this...need guidance...

-------[ warning: very detailed hospital OD visit ] -----------

Please don't do it. Tramadol is a very weak pain killer. It was only added to the controlled substance early last year. I've done exactly that before (when I was younger and it was different medications) and my mom dragged me to the hospital and they had to pump my stomach. I'm literally traumatized from catheters now. I was so messed up that I didn't feel the urinary one but I felt the one they tried to put in my nose very vividly. It felt like someone was shoving a unsharpened pencil up my nose. They had to try both sides. Both sides gushed out blood like I've never seen before. They finally gave up and shoved a tube down my throat. It truly traumatized me. I was forced into the hospital after that.

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Alone_and_Afraid · Aug 05, 2015, 04:29 PM

Thank you guys. I just been thinking a lot about it. I'm scared one day (without thinking) it will happen.

Blue_Bird · Aug 05, 2015, 04:29 PM

Yeah it sucks getting your stomach pumped, I've had it done twice, down the nose once and one time they just let me drink the charcoal... yum. I was talking to someone on the internet at the time on a forum and they got the mods to call the cops and trace my address and they showed up, I had no idea they were coming. it was scary as hell, I had snot running down my face and one of the police officers was laughing. That was my first attempt when I was 14

Anyway, that's trivial but the point is you need help NOW if you're feeling this way

A18793715 · Aug 05, 2015, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alone_and_Afraid

Thank you guys. I just been thinking a lot about it. I'm scared one day (without thinking) it will happen.

do you have a t or p-doc you can talk to?

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Crescent Moon · Aug 05, 2015, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyperagitate

Can't afford my meds because insurance med coverage maxed out for this year. My mom bought the 750 dollar Abilify injection for 200 dollars covered with what was left.

Idk if I can get the welfare emergency med coverage card because I'm probably in one of the most difficult situations because it's so complecated. They gave me free meds for August where hopefully my disability hurries up because it can take 6-10 months for them.

I wanted to walk out and just give up but what if my mom gives up? Saying that I can't achieve my goals.. It's true. I can't study but I don't want to have a college trade. My mom never gives up for me. She said she would work for every penny. I can't keep putting her through this. It's not fair to her. I told her not to buy the injection but she insisted.

Guess my psychiatrist will fill out papers because my inpatient said he would but I never knew I had to remind him ffs. Also going to get info from my old psychiatrist.

Abilify injection is not covered.

Abandoning my English course.. They said if I'm a student, they can't do anything.

My mom says that I'm a bit symptomatic right now. Going to sleep..

Something really bad is going to happen I just know. I can feel it.

Yes.. I obsess over drugs. But there's a reason. No matter how many drugs I use to cover my pain, it's still there. Watching people live their lives. All my friends on Facebook having fun, enjoying life. The life that I miss.

Most important thing for you, dude, is to get and stay stable. You are young. There is lots of time to accomplish goals. But giving up, chasing illegal drugs, failing to take the prescribed medications... all of that will prevent you from reaching your goals.

Don't worry about other people's lives. Your goal should be to do whatever you have to do to get and stay stable. Your mom sounds amazing. Lean into it and stay away from the things that will bring you down.

Alone_and_Afraid · Aug 05, 2015, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A18793715

do you have a t or p-doc you can talk to?

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I have a caseworker, but I got a new one. I don't know who it is yet. I'm waiting for my boyfriend to get off work to talk to him about it. I just got out of the hospital not too long ago. I don't wanna go back. I rather see my doctor.

Alone_and_Afraid · Aug 05, 2015, 04:45 PM

They don't put you asleep for a stomach pump??? That's really scary...

A18793715 · Aug 05, 2015, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alone_and_Afraid

They don't put you asleep for a stomach pump??? That's really scary...

Nope. You're fully awake. They can't give you more. It'll risk interacting what you're taking and could potentially cause respiratory failure. (You stop breathing)

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Alone_and_Afraid · Aug 05, 2015, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A18793715

Nope. You're fully awake. They can't give you more. It'll risk interacting what you're taking and could potentially cause respiratory failure. (You stop breathing)

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That's traumatic. I'm scared. I don't want that to happen, but I'm scared I'll do it mindlessly one day.

A18793715 · Aug 05, 2015, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alone_and_Afraid

That's traumatic. I'm scared. I don't want that to happen, but I'm scared I'll do it mindlessly one day.

it was very traumatic to me. Just keep talking to us. Feel free to PM me. If you want, if it's faster, we can email or you can add me on fb (my phone is currently off) so you'll have someone to talk to as a distraction.

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Aug 05, 2015, 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

sorry to hear that... thats weird about the valium. ive had weird reactions to some meds. are you going to see a doctor about it? what do u think will happen? will they try to hospitalize you

I'm not going to mention it to anyone. I showed my GP and he told me to go to the hospital but I can't or everyone will find out. My sister is a hairdresser and does all the nurses hairs in the hospital and they tell her everything about when I go in. So I don't want any more embarrassment on my family.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alone_and_Afraid

Possible trigger:

I have a strong suicide plan. I'm getting all the beneficiaries of all my assets to my boyfriend. Handwrite a living will. Make sure we are settled in our new house with no problem. I think about taking a whole bottle of Tramadol. The funny thing is that I'm scared to die so I would immediately tell someone I did it. I don't know I have this scenario replaying in my head that I drive to the hospital then take the whole bottle. Like I want to die, but I don't. It's confusing. I Would do it out of revenge on my family to show them I'm serious, and they need to take me seriously. I'll put that in the note.

Sorry I can't stop thinking of this...need guidance...

Tramadol won't kill you but it can give you nasty seizures that can land you with some serious brain damage. Overdosing on anything is really dangerous in the long run and is unlikely to kill you unless it's at ridiculously hard to achieve doses. Not with tramadol but with some drugs like benzo's you'll just end up in ICU riddled with tubes and monitors and that's really not something you want. It's very scary and not worth a 'cry for help'. Unfortunately sometimes that's what it takes to go inpatient which is crazy. There was a woman on the news here who was told by a nurse she'd have to self harm in order to be considered for admission. It's disgusting. You should talk to your psychiatrist and just plain ask that you'd like to go inpatient for a few days and give him the reasons why. If he's any good he'll consider it or even explain why it's a good vs bad idea. Good luck.

Aug 05, 2015, 05:35 PM

Not sure if this is appropriate talk for rollcall and if anyone finds it triggering I'll delete it.

But I've never had my stomach pumped. At least I don't think I have. When I was a teen I drank activated charcoal, threw it all up and then had to drink it again. It was nasty. But nope, no tubes down my nose or my throat. Can this be done when the patient is unconscious or do they just not practice it anymore? I've woken up with urinary catheters and woken up hooked up to a ventilator down my throat but don't recall any mention of gastric lavage or whatever it's called. Maybe there's a point when the drugs are in your system already and then theres no point! I'm not sure.

A18793715 · Aug 05, 2015, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chickenfoot

Not sure if this is appropriate talk for rollcall and if anyone finds it triggering I'll delete it.

But I've never had my stomach pumped. At least I don't think I have. When I was a teen I drank activated charcoal, threw it all up and then had to drink it again. It was nasty. But nope, no tubes down my nose or my throat. Can this be done when the patient is unconscious or do they just not practice it anymore? I've woken up with urinary catheters and woken up hooked up to a ventilator down my throat but don't recall any mention of gastric lavage or whatever it's called. Maybe there's a point when the drugs are in your system already and then theres no point! I'm not sure.

You have the option to drink it, if you can. It taste so horrible. I couldn't do it. But no. They don't put you to sleep. If you don't remember, it means you was too messed up to remember or your brain put that in the trauma area where you don't remember.

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Aug 05, 2015, 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A18793715

You have the option to drink it, if you can. It taste so horrible. I couldn't do it. But no. They don't put you to sleep. If you don't remember, it means you was too messed up to remember or your brain put that in the trauma area where you don't remember.

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I may ask my mam she would have been there. God It'd be great not having any memories of that. It's an awful procedure which I put down to trying to get people from doing it again!

avlady · Aug 05, 2015, 05:49 PM

i am on diazapam a months script at a time 2 times a day 5mg each

The_little_didgee · Aug 05, 2015, 05:50 PM

Could your SI episode be related to your psychologist leaving?

Quote:

Originally Posted by chickenfoot

Not sure if this is appropriate talk for rollcall and if anyone finds it triggering I'll delete it.

But I've never had my stomach pumped. At least I don't think I have. When I was a teen I drank activated charcoal, threw it all up and then had to drink it again. It was nasty. But nope, no tubes down my nose or my throat. Can this be done when the patient is unconscious or do they just not practice it anymore? I've woken up with urinary catheters and woken up hooked up to a ventilator down my throat but don't recall any mention of gastric lavage or whatever it's called. Maybe there's a point when the drugs are in your system already and then theres no point! I'm not sure.

I've OD'd when I was a teenager and never had my stomach pumped. Hospitals here don't usually do that or give ipecac. They prefer charcoal because it is safer. If the patient is conscious they will be urged to drink it. If they refuse or are out it will be poured into their stomach via an NG tube. Sometimes this tube is removed immediately after the charcoal is given. If two doses (usu. 6 hours apart) are given the tube is usually kept in place. If the medication was taken past a certain time charcoal won't be very helpful since it has been absorbed by the bowels. It also depends on the hospital.

Why did you ask this?

Aug 05, 2015, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

Could your SI episode be related to your psychologist leaving?

No I don't think so, I'm used to getting different psychologists every few months. This guy was good though, I got him a little thank you card and that will be it. I've no real connection with him, other than he helped me quite a bit. I took 10mg diazepam and got all weird and maybe psychotic. I thought there where bugs in my leg. Can Benzo's cause acute psychosis?

Quote:

I've OD'd when I was a teenager and never had my stomach pumped. Hospitals here don't usually do that or give ipecac. They prefer charcoal because it is safer. If the patient is conscious they will be urged to drink it. If they refuse or are out it will be poured into their stomach via an NG tube. Sometimes this tube is removed after the charcoal was given. If two doses are given the tube is usually kept in place. If the medication was taken past a certain time charcoal won't be very helpful since it has been absorbed by the bowels. It also depends on the hospital.

Why did you ask this?

I think I may have had that tube going into my stomach, I just had so many tubes poking out of me I didn't know what was what. I couldn't speak so I couldn't ask questions until it was too late and I was transferred out of ICU. I ask because people where talking about getting their stomachs pumped and I don't believe I ever have, is all.

Alone_and_Afraid · Aug 05, 2015, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A18793715

it was very traumatic to me. Just keep talking to us. Feel free to PM me. If you want, if it's faster, we can email or you can add me on fb (my phone is currently off) so you'll have someone to talk to as a distraction.

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What's your FB?

The_little_didgee · Aug 05, 2015, 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chickenfoot

No I don't think so, I'm used to getting different psychologists every few months. This guy was good though, I got him a little thank you card and that will be it. I've no real connection with him, other than he helped me quite a bit. I took 10mg diazepam and got all weird and maybe psychotic. I thought there where bugs in my leg. Can Benzo's cause acute psychosis?

They can cause dissociation, amnesia, disinhibition and psychosis in some people.

Do your doctors know about this? You really shouldn't be taking benzodiazepines if they affect you this way. It is dangerous.

Aug 05, 2015, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

They can cause dissociation, amnesia, disinhibition and psychosis in some people.

Do your doctors know about this? You really shouldn't be taking benzodiazepines if they affect you this way. It is dangerous.

It was my first time taking them, and I won't be taking them again. I gave the rest to my sister. She has extremely bad back problems so they'll benefit her. If they prescribe them again I'll just refuse. I was really messed up last night. Completely out of it.

Alone_and_Afraid · Aug 05, 2015, 06:30 PM

I think I already have you on FB...

Angelique67 · Aug 05, 2015, 06:43 PM

I really wish my package had come. I'm so angry about it. I'm bored and uncomfortable.

Blue_Bird · Aug 05, 2015, 06:54 PM

That's annoying when that happens Angelique

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