Roll Call 60

Pretty pic Alone and Afraid



Man it's only the second day of my diet and I'm craving candy like mad. I could go for a twix bar, or 10

Thank you!

Today, is like the third or fourth day of being vegetarian. Last night my boyfriend was eating taquitos and I just sat there and watched him eat them. I remind myself I'm doing this for the better and possibly lose weight. I actually thought about fasting, but there is too many people around me most of the time and they'll make me eat.

i just slept like 2 hours

i woke up i thought it was morning again

oh by the way
IM EATING TACO BELL!

At Casa Ole we have a creepy looking waiter...

Looking at retro Pokemon toys on ebay, brings back memories. Wish I still had my collection

Door2015 knows a whole lot about creepy chefs and waiters! she works with some!

This guys eyes like pierced into my soul. I was scared to talk to him.

I couldn't be a waitress. I'm too anti-social.

ive been having some trouble telling my dreams from reality for awhile guys.

i dream about a lot. idk why im having trouble.

ive also been hearing voices lately and having lots of paranoia. ive been on edge. and this was before my chickens died so idk where this stress came from. this has been here for ahwile.

I'm not bad
I'm not bad
I'm not bad
I'm not bad

I am good, I try to be, but I am not bad. They are wrong about me

I realized if I had never left living with my brother or especially with the evil person, I don't think I would be here today. I'm thankful to live where I live now. Surrounded by people who actually care about me. Even though I'm still suicidal, it's mild compared if I had to live in hell. It's sad that my own family doesn't even care. It hurts a lot to know that both sides of my family hate me in a way. I'm glad I have my boyfriend. Without him, I would be long gone. I never planned my future. I always planned my demise ever since I lived with people who abuse me physically and mentally which was at the age of 9 (after my mom passed). It's worse ever since my dad passed away two years ago because the people who cared the most about me are gone. If it wasn't for my boyfriend or his family, I wouldn't be here. It's strange to think about this. The doctor said I'll continue to have bad thoughts. I just need to control them. I see a therapist Tuesday to help.

My doctor even told me that he would be more surprised if I was 'normal' because of what I've been through. I used to think everyone had a tough life.

i saw a movie... it was the gift. it was ok, kinda slow and drawn out. it felt long but was a little over 2 hours.

i also saw a deer on the side of the road. i hate deer so much. they are everywhere here and can really mess your **** up. its worse at night when u cant see them and then BAM they are in front of ur car. i hit a deer once, well it hit me... it just ran into the side of my car. i didnt know wtf happened! anyway thats my deer rant.

Good morning!

Good morning Blue bird! I've got to get ready to go to work in a few, but I was able to catch up at least on the last few days. Hugs to everyone. I'm drinking coffee out of my favorite Dalek cup. My sister made it for me and it's shooting an extermination beam of hearts. Although, the hearts are starting to wear off. But that seems reasonable coming from a Dalek. Last night at work was odd. It was distressing and enjoyable, just not at the same time. Idk what I'm going to do about this chef. At least I don't have to see him till Thursday. Have a good day, y'all. If I'm lucky I'll be back on after work.

Hey Door, hope work goes good for you



I figured out what my next tattoo will be!! Hello Kitty as a zombie!

Good morning!

I had a dream that my boyfriend tricked me into eating a hamburger.

God, just looking over my linkedin. It makes me look soooo much better than I actually am. I guess that's the point really but I've been out of the loop for over 2 years and my skills are fading. My next job probably won't be a software engineer like it should be at this stage but probably behind the counter at subway. Ughh, I really messed up.

Was it a good hamburger?

Blue_Bird, those colours would look amazing in a tattoo. Don't forget to post a pic when you get it done!

It was a good hamburger. XD
But then I was like "Dang it! There goes my vegetarian streak!"

I'm glad it was a dream...

I ran out of my Buspar because the doctor didn't order a refill. I don't know if he's discontinuing it or what. My caseworker got a new job, so I get a new one. I'll ask her about it. But I'm nervous because I don't like change. It's going to be awkward meeting this new one. I see a therapist tomorrow. I don't know what to expect. There are too many changes going on right now.

Buspar is one of those that genuinely needs to be tapered.. so you probably want to check on that asap. I don't think doctors discontinue meds without talking to the patient first.

I only took it for 10 days because it's the hospital prescription, but the doctor didn't make another prescription. He probably thought I had enough. I think I'll see the new caseworker sometime this week, possibly today.

morning guys

my financial aid hasnt come in and im stressed out. it was supposed to be here on the fifth of august.