Roll Call 65

Waiting for my Abilify delivery. And thereafter to order in food. I'm hungry.

You could totally base a horror film on my life, Tweaky. I'm wondering if that hasn't already been done lol. I saw a movie once where the crazy chick had all of my quirks, and it was made in my home town. I was so creeped out by that. I'm just hoping I've faded into obscurity in my current location.

you could base a huge hit drama with my life!

gritty independent film!

I'm so tired of everything. My life is so empty. Because I can't walk. I should be practising but my place is horribly cluttered. I need help with it.

love being treated like a moron just because i don't know anything about the items i'm trying to inventory. love that no one cooperates with me and that's just seen as fine because They're Just Stubborn Old Men Sweety :^) U Cant Change Them :^) U Just Gotta Get Used To Being Disrespected And Talked Down To Every Day :^)

got into a fight with my mom. she says she doesnt want to talk to me for a few months.

i've been looking at articles about transitioning and hrt because i lowkey want to be fired and killed.

Lol love it. My life fits very neatly into the horror genre... heh.

Just let the situation rest for a few days. She will probably change her mind. But it might actually be good for you to put some distance there.

i wanted to cry but i realized i cant let self destructive people come in an ruin my life too. ive dropped out of all my classes and thats what she wants to see me do, is fail at life. my dad has told me countless stories of how she mistreated him while they were together and i keep wanting to mend the relationship but its not gonna happen. this is a turning point in my life. im going to group and therapy tomorrow and talking about this. hopefully i wont break down. im gonna start going to church and getting involved in stuff. im not gonna let this break me.

its weird how things always come afresh around this time of year and how i have a lot of turning points in my life during this season. i regret dropping out of classes but i still got a grant for spring and im not going to ruin it. this time of year came around like this last year and i started doing stuff.

I can relate to the time of year thing, a lot of things change for me or my perspective shifts or something new happens or whatever... Typically during November somewhere... It's definitely a pattern.

My supposed "schizoaffective bipolar type" diagnosis got proved wrong yet again, I got my blood work done last week and my thyroid is yet again giving me issues and that effectively explained my "manic" symptoms... hyperthyroidism, ugh... No wonder I've lost so much weight... Like people are starting to say I'm getting too thin...

i wish i was getting too thin hah. but i hear ya atypical. typically november is when things start to change for me too. or december if later. its something about winter and fall that brings renewed life. and im not talking about literally but figuratively.

i talk to my mom everyday so im gonna have to find another way around my loneliness.

Waiting for dinner to finish cooking. I love my crock pot. Nothing exciting going on here. I was supposed to work but I fell asleep before I finished.

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Lol yeah I hear wanting to be thin but I'll just say that dropping as much weight as I have in such a short amount of time has made me seriously physically ill. It's ****ed too because I've been eating a lot, way more than normal but I'm dropping all this weight anyways.

I think you're right about winter and fall bringing renewed life, breaking old patterns, gaining a different perspective on yourself and life, etc.

You know how to reach me if you want to feel a bit less lonely for awhile.

thank you atypical! i appreciate that so much. i really really really do. ️

Anytime my friend.

Submitted another appeal for the financial aid thing, praying it goes through this time. I miss taking classes

I hope they actually help you out, you deserve to be able to do what you want and learning is an excellent thing to do in life and something I believe everyone on earth should always be doing, learning.

Thanks all for the suggestioms
I taked to my therapist about it and she recommended I ask my friend who's seeing the horror movie with me if I wanted to do something else besides see a movie, like go to the mall or et something to eat/

So I texted my friend and hopefully we can do smething else.

I find horror movies to be triggering sometimes too

sooo my apartment complex is on the news. they are out there filming it right now. apparently its a 'suspicious death' and the SBI is investigating it. my neighbor gave me a really heavy old sewing machine head to block my door with. im scared , i thought maybe i shouldnt go to sleep tonight. but i work in the morning. this is like my worst nightmare. every little noise is freaking me out..

on a good note i did some more bookkeeping today and it was fun. i like it a lot better than being a cashier.

Oh geez. I think this situation would make most people experience at least some level of anxiety. That sounds quite stressful, I'm sorry.

My other two pairs of earrings I ordered from Bodyartforms should be here tomorrow. I think I am staying at 1/2 inch

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im so sorry junkdna. that would make me so paranoid.

Does Schizophrenia Exist on an Autism-Like Spectrum? - Scientific American

Intersting article that says between 5-7 percent of people have experienced hallucinations or delusions.....I had heard 5% before but the latest research confirms it.

I think I'm being surveiled. But I can't say why.