Safe Place 2

Having a rough day at work

Hope it get better.

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I feel so lost and forlorn. I wish my friend would just talk to me a minute or so throughout the day.

Sendin out big to you all

Hi all,

Just stopping in to this safe place. Anxious. Not anything related to schizophrenia or psychosis really, other issues. Hope it's okay to hang here.

I am not sleeping well because entities cause me
anxiety

at night
and I get really
agitated, they make me feel homicidal even if those are not my feelings, they push it and make me angry too, and don't shut up. I was so mad and nervous I had to hit something and even so I couldn't calm down because of them.

I got 5mg of diazepam to take at night these two days because it's going out of control until I can call my psychiatrist. I just need to talk with someone about the entities in a safe place so they don't get mad at me for exposing myself and torture me as punishment. I am afraid of taking it since it affects my mind and I like it the way it is.

I took it, but I don't feel anything.

It should kick in soon (it takes a little bit of time).

I hope it's helping

It didn't work

I felt relaxed but couldn't fall sleep more than few minutes, my mind was still racing and I couldn't stop it, entities kept talking with my racing mind. Now I feel worse

I won't take it tonight again and I am going to wait until I can talk with my psychiatrist. The only benzo I have ever tried that don't cause me more troubles is clonazepam.

These are the ones I have tried.
Lorazepam
Clorazepate
alprazolam
Lormetazepam
Zolpidem
Diazepam
Clonazepam

No one cares met only friends are the voices and even they don't care

Hot water cold water boiling water freezing water again and again in progression

Noctor and kori

Uh, I am sorry Kori.

My only friends are the entities and those book like people, but they can be harmful.

I phoned my psychiatrist and he gave me clonazepam. I took 1mg and entities are still here but they don't bother me anymore, they don't make me homicidal, irritated or force me to think what I don't want -they always try to control my mind if I don't obey them-. I feel a bit better and I am studying. I hope I can sleep this night.

Seending hugs from the library.

Oh man had a major visual of spiders everywhere this morning......I was screaming it was so real....they were the big ones.....now the question is why....lack of sleep, one of my cold meds interfering with the meds or just becuase I'm sick....hopefully this is just a blip.....

I'm sure it was just a blip. I dreamed I was rock climbing in Switzerland and then I fell off, just like what they were talking about on TV. Because it was due to a rock climbing show on TV.

Oh, and I forgot! I hope you'll feel better today. And completely spider free.

Hoping it's nothing!

I feel ****.

I've been really sleepy the past few days. I couldn't make myself get out of bed for classes this morning & even when I got up, still felt tired so missed the afternoon classes too. I got up at like 10am, whilst normally I'm out of bed by before 7.

I'm not particularly dwelling on my grandma passing, but I guess that with my asthma playing up & my stress related to my flat being in a state is just all piling up.

So far, college has been fine... it's just coming home that sucks. I really hope I can try to start getting on top of things tomorrow which is a day off.

My damn GP pretty much shot me down over my asthma & told me just to book a review with the asthma nurse which I was meant to do anyway. Turns out the next available one is 3rd October. I just feel like a fraud because I never get wheezy & my symptoms are mostly only a big issue in the mornings. He just said I had poor control of my asthma & he could only deal with a flare up. I'm pretty sure it is a flare up but I just got defensive & didn't get myself across well. Asshole.

Little bit of paranoia creeping through right now too. I'm now alone again, having been with family since Friday... so we shall see what the voices do tonight/tomorrow.

I just need a break so I can get on top of things... <sigh>

Loial

Sorry things are tough for you right now. We are here if you need anything

Hey, loial. I hope everything will get better.

I am sorry I don't know what to say but I hope it gets better

I am sending you strength and hugs, a group hug

Loial I hope you get a break.

Thanks guys.

My mood has been a little better today, so less napping & I've got a enough things done to feel I am going in the right direction. With any luck come the weekend, things will be good enough for me to use my days off to finally sort things out at home.

Asthma still playing up a bit. Getting a chest x-ray to & some bloods to rule out other causes... although I doubt anything will show up.

Still getting a bit of paranoia but I think that'll calm down as other things resolve themselves.

Glad you are feeling better Loial