Safe Place 2

Angelique67 · Jun 17, 2016, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

Ugh, the voices have been screaming at me literally all day. I'm listening to music trying to drown them out and it's not working. I'm scared.

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I hated when the voice got louder here. It meant he wasnt worried about getting caught, which worsened my despair. I hope he will never come back. I hope your voices will stfu.

Loial · Jun 18, 2016, 04:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster

Ugh, the voices have been screaming at me literally all day. I'm listening to music trying to drown them out and it's not working. I'm scared.

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I'm sorry... I know how hard it can be trying to ignore voices when they are loud & persistent.

These days the worst time for that with me is when I wake up in the middle of the night... usually they are at their loudest then. Can make it very hard to get back to sleep.

I've personally always found that trying to ignore the voices, or drown them out is usually pretty unsuccessful. The best way for me is always to try & keep myself busy... the busier I am, the more distracted I am & the less I notice & eventually hear the voices. Trying to force it just seems to make it worse because for me, it's like I am actively thinking about the voices still, wondering when they will stop.

I guess a big part of for me is just accepting the voices are there & getting on with my day. I know that can be hard sometimes though.

I hope they are a bit better for you today...

MoonSunn · Jun 19, 2016, 01:44 PM

i feel very grateful about my mom - what all shes been through with me. but somehow i think she cant understand whats happening to me or maybe even thinks im kidding. she tells me to just f off my symptoms but i cant. when im psychotic i feel vulnerable like everyone knows what im thinking because everyone can hear my thoughts. in that state i am unable to hold a conversation or even reasure myself its all in my mind. some days its better some worse. i hope to attend university in fall but im scared of the symptoms i still have.

Loial · Jun 22, 2016, 06:33 AM

Getting thoroughly bored of my voices. Really not helping with my sleep at the moment...

Don't get me wrong, things are going fairly well for me right now but they just somewhat mute the good times...

No idea, when... if... they will go away again.

MoonSunn · Jun 23, 2016, 03:48 PM

i had a fight with my mom today and wanted to end it all so i now consider myself a survivor of yet another attempt. i can feel my heart turning to steel. i skipped the evening meds, so far so good but i cant sleep. i feel a little better now. she attacked all my soft spots and i cried several hours

12AM · Jun 25, 2016, 07:38 AM

This is just venting, rambling aimlessly. Nothing important and it's boring so don't click if you are not in the mood

Possible trigger:

I am on depression mood again. Thinking about death a lot. Not about sui but I just feel that my body has reached its "time". Extreme tiredness. Hard to breathe. Blur vision. Anything I hear sounds like its volume is 10x maximized, so irritating. Don't feel like eating. I still eat on time but it's hard to swallow. Collecting my guts now to take my meds. Since seroquel tends to make me hard to breathe.. I am afraid my breath would stop in a sec after I took it

MoonSunn · Jun 25, 2016, 09:07 AM

hey

what you described sounds similar to what im experiencing.. youre not alone

i think its my symptoms that are depressing me, and the rest- blur vision and tiredness are probably the side effects of your medication. im super sensitive to random people talking, i hear my own words innit and they get pretty loud. yesterday i akipped meds because i was so angry with side effects but it came around and got me so i had to start taking them again

12AM · Jun 25, 2016, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MoonSunn

hey

what you described sounds similar to what im experiencing.. youre not alone

i think its my symptoms that are depressing me, and the rest- blur vision and tiredness are probably the side effects of your medication. im super sensitive to random people talking, i hear my own words innit and they get pretty loud. yesterday i akipped meds because i was so angry with side effects but it came around and got me so i had to start taking them again

Thanks, hugs back at you

I took my meds already. Sounds like skipping meds not a good idea for us

A18793715 · Jun 25, 2016, 10:54 AM

I want to run far from here. Save up all my ssi until summer and go.. Idk where. I feel like I'm trapped forever. I don't know what to do. Everything I think, my voices say a horrible reply. :-/

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Angelique67 · Jun 25, 2016, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A18793715

I want to run far from here. Save up all my ssi until summer and go.. Idk where. I feel like I'm trapped forever. I don't know what to do. Everything I think, my voices say a horrible reply. :-/

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I feel that way too, sometimes. But I keep getting reminded that my body can no longer go very far, and I don't have the money lol.

I hope you'll feel better very soon.

A18793715 · Jun 25, 2016, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

I feel that way too, sometimes. But I keep getting reminded that my body can no longer go very far, and I don't have the money lol.

I hope you'll feel better very soon.

I can't stand it here. I'm so tired of my stomach cramping horribly because I'm scared. Or not being able to eat. I'm at my top in over a year at 124lbs. There's a week until I get paid, and there's no food here that isn't weird healthy, expired, nasty sounding things. Like. Everything is expired.

There's no where I can move in alone anywhere. No where is cheap enough.

home is my last option. Or the hospital until I get over this.

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Angelique67 · Jun 25, 2016, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A18793715

I can't stand it here. I'm so tired of my stomach cramping horribly because I'm scared. Or not being able to eat. I'm at my top in over a year at 124lbs. There's a week until I get paid, and there's no food here that isn't weird healthy, expired, nasty sounding things. Like. Everything is expired.

There's no where I can move in alone anywhere. No where is cheap enough.

home is my last option. Or the hospital until I get over this.

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I hope you'll find a place.

A18793715 · Jun 25, 2016, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

I hope you'll find a place.

I gave in and asked my mom to pick me up. My bf is upset that I'm leaving. >_>

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Angelique67 · Jun 25, 2016, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A18793715

I can't stand it here. I'm so tired of my stomach cramping horribly because I'm scared. Or not being able to eat. I'm at my top in over a year at 124lbs. There's a week until I get paid, and there's no food here that isn't weird healthy, expired, nasty sounding things. Like. Everything is expired.

There's no where I can move in alone anywhere. No where is cheap enough.

home is my last option. Or the hospital until I get over this.

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I'm wondering if maybe any local church people would know of any cheap places to live. I know it sounds kind of weird to suggest, but they can be very tuned into what resources are available in their communities. Only of churches you could see yourself joining.

A18793715 · Jun 25, 2016, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

I'm wondering if maybe any local church people would know of any cheap places to live. I know it sounds kind of weird to suggest, but they can be very tuned into what resources are available in their communities. Only of churches you could see yourself joining.

I don't believe in any gods or organized religion. But I have seen places around that help. I just don't need more stress of biblical things making it harder. I'm still waiting to hear back from section 8. This next years sign up starts in like a month. But I didn't get approved this year.

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Angelique67 · Jun 25, 2016, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A18793715

I don't believe in any gods or organized religion. But I have seen places around that help. I just don't need more stress of biblical things making it harder. I'm still waiting to hear back from section 8. This next years sign up starts in like a month. But I didn't get approved this year.

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Yeah, the waiting on that is ridiculous. Try to not worry. I think it will all work out. Things do tend to work out better for young people. Everyone sees their own potential in young people.

88Butterfly88 · Jun 27, 2016, 11:04 AM

Hi,

I have hallucinations but professionals don't think they are psychotic. I hope it's okay to post here.

Anyway, I'm not feeling safe in my own home. I'm hallucinating my dad abusing me. I am an abuse survivor but it wasn't my dad who abused me. I just want to feel safe.

junkDNA · Jun 27, 2016, 11:09 AM

what do they think it is?

88Butterfly88 · Jun 27, 2016, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

what do they think it is?

I don't know. They think they are PTSD based hallucinations. They think I am too in touch with reality to have schizophrenia. But I don't feel very in touch with reality right now. I mean I am here talking to you but there are people here in my head too.

junkDNA · Jun 27, 2016, 11:54 AM

My psychosis is from childhood trauma. It's still psychosis. But I don't have schizophrenia

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88Butterfly88 · Jun 27, 2016, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

My psychosis is from childhood trauma. It's still psychosis. But I don't have schizophrenia

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Good to know.

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Angelique67 · Jul 02, 2016, 09:50 PM

I have to move. They're satanic.

Angelique67 · 10:53 PM

I'm going to take another cogentin soon. That and Benadryl can help with the RLS. So, since I'm taking that, I can't really take Vistaril. I don't know. I don't want to keep acquiring bottles of vistaril and trazodone. I have like 10 bottles of traz because they didn't listen when I said it was no use for me.

And I have a huge amount of hydroxyzine.

I suppose I could make castanets filled with traz and visaril. Paper machate (can't spell it) is awfully messy though. But think of the cha cha. I could get some quality exercise by doing the cha cha with my trazodone castanets.

ETA oops I mean a different instrument, but I can't spell that either. Good fortune to me for avoiding another accident of castanets.

Loial · Jul 03, 2016, 06:40 AM

You doing ok Angelique?

Angelique67 · Jul 03, 2016, 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loial

You doing ok Angelique?

I'm wondering what has gone wrong with my cognitive health. How could I have suffered so many deficits so recently and stacked so closely together. I guess I may have had some mini strokes. And the pos have been torturing me for months since February with chemical fumes through the very large holes in my walls. I am hoping and praying that someone who actually cares enough to catch them for the sake of the rest of the city at least would finally wake up and notice this. But I have no real hope now.

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