Roll Call #79

The voices are too loud and I just want to hide forever. I want them to go away. I'm scared.

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Thanks, today is not my day.

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i cleared out my spare room. it took abt 1.5 hours, lol. anyway- i couldnt find toby after all that. i looked everywhere. then i saw a bulge int eh curtain. he is sitting in between the curtain and the window. i posted a pic on the toby thread

Hey guys what's up? All is well with me, going to see my boyfriend tonight, it's getting really hard to be apart from him at all...like painful, we decided that we'll see each other twice a week and then weekends to help with that. We are having sweet and sour chicken tonight and then crunch ice cream bars.

Hey atypical sorry that things are going poorly at the moment, hopefully they improve for you soon.

Thanks, it's good to see you. I'm glad things are going well for you.

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Wait does fb remind you of breakups now? That doesn't seem like a good feature to have. Are you with anyone nice right now?

yeah I'm almost always lurking but rarely post anymore----

i dont even lurk that much anymore let alone post. im a bit too busy.

on one note my life is ok. on another its not. but im still out in the real world nowadays.

It was one of those memory posts. We are still very close friend and he showed me this morning and put a sad face. The guy I'm with... He.. Is convenient for when I need something. He never listens. I can talk for 10 minutes and he'll be like "oh. Was you talking to me?" Like omfg. I know I'm "crazy", but I don't sit there and talk to myself.

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:sadhug,:

you're safe. We're here for you. <3 nothing will happen.

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I can't believe this but I slept this whole entire day. And tomorrow I'm supposed to go to the pcp and I have no idea if I can manage the stairs. I'm worrying a lot about it.

My phobias tend to creep up on me so it always feels like they happen very suddenly. And I don't know if I can trust that they'll go away. I was fine most of my life with escalators until one day I wasn't, and then I became terrified of escalators and that's been that for like the past 30 years.

I don't know what I'll do. 😨😩😥😵

Yeah I've been busy too....glad you're out in the real world and doing ok.....

Oh I hate the memory posts....they always show bad stuff but I don't know how to block them. Sorry your current bf isn't paying attention to you....

I'm glad for you guys, but I hope you'll still be around. This thread is making me feel so lonely. Not your problem, but I miss you when you're gone.

The thing about fear is we want to try get rid of the emotion in the quickest way possible, and most of the time that's done by avoiding the fear. It will go away if you expose yourself to these things, the elevator or the stairs. By doing it over and over and just baring the distress... it will make the fear go away and the distress will get less and less each time.

I used to be afraid of elevators and would avoid them, until I got a job that required going down to the store room with pallets of books. Not only did I have to face my fear in an elevator, it was a stock elevator that was old and would break down. I just kept going down there over and over until it stopped being uncomfortable, it was tough but I wouldn't have been able to keep my job if I hadn't got over that fear.

It's okay. My ex said he'll help me plan how to break up with my current bf. He said he'll even break up with him for me. He knows me so very well. He knows I'm terrified of even the thought of trying to get out of a relationship. I get stuck very easily. Like now. I just want my other half back but I ruined that forever.

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Morning guys,

I didn't sleep that great last night which I was a bit confused about, until I spotted this morning I had forgotten to take my dose of Citalopram last night. Whoops.

As always it wasn't helped by my voices which tend to be worse in the middle of the night / first thing in the morning but oh well.

Anyway, I'm going to see The Conjuring 2 at the cinema this afternoon. Really excited.

Not only did I really enjoy the first, but getting to see it at the cinema should be a great experience. I'm actually not sure when the last time I saw a horror film at the cinema was...

Shall report back later.

Hope everyone has a good day.

I saw the original in the cinema. It was ****ing awesome I want to see the second one too!

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My sleep cycle seems to be getting back to normal. I went to bed early and woke up early. That's my usual. I love being awake first thing in the morning.

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I post some really good psychological techniques to someone who needed advice. And I get ignored. I suppose wailing in sorrow is alot better than trying to get better.

Sometimes I think people react that way because they're not ready to hear it. With a situation like that I usually just back off and let that person reach their own conclusions.

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Hash oil to start day

jk

Injection!

Also my modafinil got seized at the border from months ago so they're starting to take my tiredness seriously.