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  #601  
Old Aug 09, 2017, 06:39 PM
ofthevalley ofthevalley is offline
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Originally Posted by newtus View Post
TL;DR

I thought i was gonna marry my ex. Thats why its so devastating to me. Thats why i keep talking about it.

It helps to let it out.

I'm glad it helps.
I'm sure it is devastating. I thought I was going to marry the guy I was with before my husband. I was 14 when we got together. We stayed together for 4 years. When I think of the stuff I put up with it's embarrassing. But I loved him and thought we'd be together forever. I even moved to Florida with him. When we split it was devastating. I didn't think I'd ever recover. It took a long time to get over him. Even with all the bad things he did to me I couldn't move on. I talked about him constantly. It made things easier.
Then I met my husband and the rest is history.
Maybe he was just a stepping stone to someone better. Maybe he came into your life to prepare you for the right one.
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  #602  
Old Aug 09, 2017, 06:53 PM
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Originally Posted by ofthevalley View Post
I'm glad it helps.
I'm sure it is devastating. I thought I was going to marry the guy I was with before my husband. I was 14 when we got together. We stayed together for 4 years. When I think of the stuff I put up with it's embarrassing. But I loved him and thought we'd be together forever. I even moved to Florida with him. When we split it was devastating. I didn't think I'd ever recover. It took a long time to get over him. Even with all the bad things he did to me I couldn't move on. I talked about him constantly. It made things easier.
Then I met my husband and the rest is history.
Maybe he was just a stepping stone to someone better. Maybe he came into your life to prepare you for the right one.


Maybe you are right. A stepping stone to someone better. I believe that. I put up with too much ish. I dont want to pay for anything else of his. In fact, i quit doing most of that this past two months. He wanted me to buy him a vaporizer for pot and then another time he wanted me to buy him a ecig. That wouldve put me out well over 100 bucks for both together. I said no. I have paid for his food, ubers, and let him eat at my house. Hes eaten so much food at my house that i went without groceries for almost 2 weeks in july. My dad wouldnt pay for any for me. Told me not to let him eat my stuff and maybe id have food.

Its ridiculous. Im so glad someone replied to my post. I needed feedback badly.

Ugh. I kinda wonder if the reason i missed my meds the first day of not taking them was because he wasnt taking his and it was like a shared thought. Either way i eventually went off and on them as everyone here has seen. Even believing i dont need them. Still believe that. It either was a shared thought or he put me in so much agony that i just needed to feel psychosis and not heartbreak anymore.

Honestly i would rather feel psychosis than heartbreak. I honestly think that.
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  #603  
Old Aug 09, 2017, 06:55 PM
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TL;DR

I would rather feel psychosis than heartbreak
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  #604  
Old Aug 09, 2017, 07:00 PM
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Originally Posted by newtus View Post
TL;DR

I would rather feel psychosis than heartbreak
Not me....I ascribe to the theory that men are like buses. There is always another one coming......
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  #605  
Old Aug 09, 2017, 07:04 PM
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Not me....I ascribe to the theory that men are like buses. There is always another one coming......


Lol. Good point.

I just would rather feel fake internal pain than have real external pain
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  #606  
Old Aug 09, 2017, 07:07 PM
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Originally Posted by newtus View Post
Lol. Good point.

I just would rather feel fake internal pain than have real external pain
I'm not sure I would, you can always discuss real pain with your friends and family to gain support, but fewer people care to discuss psychotic thoughts really. In the end though I'd rather not have any pain.
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  #607  
Old Aug 09, 2017, 07:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic View Post
I'm not sure I would, you can always discuss real pain with your friends and family to gain support, but fewer people care to discuss psychotic thoughts really. In the end though I'd rather not have any pain.


Well yea id rather not have any too. But the good thing about internal pain is that pills help most of the time
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  #608  
Old Aug 09, 2017, 07:17 PM
Anonymous40796
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Not me....I ascribe to the theory that men are like buses. There is always another one coming......
omg I had too much fun with this! I have 3 inappropriate jokes right now.
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  #609  
Old Aug 09, 2017, 07:20 PM
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omg I had too much fun with this! I have 3 inappropriate jokes right now.


Coming = cumming???
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  #610  
Old Aug 09, 2017, 07:40 PM
ofthevalley ofthevalley is offline
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Originally Posted by Angelique67 View Post
It's a bad day at Spiders Corner. The nurse's aides who monitor the smoke breaks have been doing this lately, hanging out in my room gossiping. And then triggering me repeatedly. It's a disgusting, horrible place and I want to leave already. My newest roommate is very sweet, but she is illiterate and suffering from dementia. It makes it very hard for her to learn how to use her phone. She hasn't been here for very long yet. This is a really depressing place. I want to go!

I hope you get out soon
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  #611  
Old Aug 09, 2017, 07:41 PM
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Hope everyone is well
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  #612  
Old Aug 09, 2017, 07:45 PM
ofthevalley ofthevalley is offline
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Originally Posted by newtus View Post
Maybe you are right. A stepping stone to someone better. I believe that. I put up with too much ish. I dont want to pay for anything else of his. In fact, i quit doing most of that this past two months. He wanted me to buy him a vaporizer for pot and then another time he wanted me to buy him a ecig. That wouldve put me out well over 100 bucks for both together. I said no. I have paid for his food, ubers, and let him eat at my house. Hes eaten so much food at my house that i went without groceries for almost 2 weeks in july. My dad wouldnt pay for any for me. Told me not to let him eat my stuff and maybe id have food.

Its ridiculous. Im so glad someone replied to my post. I needed feedback badly.

Ugh. I kinda wonder if the reason i missed my meds the first day of not taking them was because he wasnt taking his and it was like a shared thought. Either way i eventually went off and on them as everyone here has seen. Even believing i dont need them. Still believe that. It either was a shared thought or he put me in so much agony that i just needed to feel psychosis and not heartbreak anymore.

Honestly i would rather feel psychosis than heartbreak. I honestly think that.

I truly believe everyone comes into our lives for a reason.
I'm sorry he took advantage of you. That's a really ****** thing to do. Some people just don't understand the repercussions of their actions.
There is someone better out there for you.
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  #613  
Old Aug 09, 2017, 07:51 PM
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gawww... I went to the doctor not knowing that I was getting a pap again. got that done... pretty much spend the day with my stepdad.
  #614  
Old Aug 09, 2017, 07:54 PM
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sorry you are feeling this way, newtus

i can understand it, though. but i've never really had my heart broken before, not seriously anyway
  #615  
Old Aug 09, 2017, 07:54 PM
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gawww... I went to the doctor not knowing that I was getting a pap again. got that done... pretty much spend the day with my stepdad.
those suck!
i actively avoid those if i can
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  #616  
Old Aug 09, 2017, 07:54 PM
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Originally Posted by ofthevalley View Post
I hope you get out soon
Thank you, valley! These two smokers, a woman who recently came back again and is friends of group 2, and a man with a nasty smokers cough from group 2 (I'm in group 2 still), keep trying to upset me because I think they noticed me watching, which i did. Well, the woman in Group 1 (she was in group 2 until my roommate went overboard and spoke to the social worker about) and the man have been staging pda's in front of my face, but if it's real, it only happened in the last week. It's pissing me off. I was going to get a beginner's vaping kit, like for $10/user for about 4 people, and now I think I'm kicking him off the list.

Last edited by Angelique67; Aug 09, 2017 at 08:32 PM.
  #617  
Old Aug 09, 2017, 07:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Kori Anders View Post
sorry you are feeling this way, newtus


i can understand it, though. but i've never really had my heart broken before, not seriously anyway


Thank you. Ive had my heart broken twice very seriously. To my first love i dated for 6 years. And then this one.
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  #618  
Old Aug 09, 2017, 07:58 PM
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those suck!

i actively avoid those if i can


I would avoid those but one of my relatives died from ovarian cancer. Ugh but i still havent gotten one and im 26.
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  #619  
Old Aug 09, 2017, 07:58 PM
ofthevalley ofthevalley is offline
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Originally Posted by Erti View Post
gawww... I went to the doctor not knowing that I was getting a pap again. got that done... pretty much spend the day with my stepdad.

Eww I have getting paps. I have one coming up too.
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  #620  
Old Aug 09, 2017, 07:59 PM
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I just explained to a new friend that my instagram is dark because i vent sometimes about "a mental health issue i have". Idk if she understood but she said she still wants to hang with me.
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  #621  
Old Aug 09, 2017, 08:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kori Anders View Post
those suck!
i actively avoid those if i can
Well, my last pap didn't get enough cells so I had to do one coming in while I also had them check me out for std's (long story). Plus I haven't had my period in over a year.
  #622  
Old Aug 09, 2017, 08:01 PM
ofthevalley ofthevalley is offline
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Originally Posted by Angelique67 View Post
Thank you, valley! These two smokers, a woman who recently came back again and is friends of group 2, and a man with a nasty smokers cough from group 2 (I'm in group 2 still), keep trying to upset me because I think they noticed me watching, which i did. Well, the woman in Group 1 (she was in group 2 until my roommate went overboard and spoke to the social worker about) and the man have been staging paoa in front of my face, but if it's real, it only happened in the last week. It's pissing me off. I was going to get a beginner's vaping kit, like for $10/user for about 4 people, and now I think I'm kicking him off the list.

If he is actively trying to upset you I would definitely kick him off the list.
That's really nice of you.
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  #623  
Old Aug 09, 2017, 08:02 PM
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Originally Posted by ofthevalley View Post
Eww I have getting paps. I have one coming up too.
At least when you get one you don't have to get one a year later.
  #624  
Old Aug 09, 2017, 08:02 PM
ofthevalley ofthevalley is offline
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Well, my last pap didn't get enough cells so I had to do one coming in while I also had them check me out for std's (long story). Plus I haven't had my period in over a year.

Oh I don't have periods either. The doctors still don't know how I got pregnant.
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  #625  
Old Aug 09, 2017, 08:03 PM
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I just took my haldol
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