Roll Call CIV (104)

Yes, very much so.

You tried! I thought you would have loved it because it had so much heart, so you'd relate. If I'm not interested in something in 60 pages to an hour I drop it too. I'll never forget the first episode of black mirror. I keep on hearing how great that show is but when you have a world leader
That's the second show that was so disgusting that I couldn't follow through. I couldn't follow Game of Thrones because the story like with Reak disgusted and triggered me as much. After an hour or 60 pages and it doesn't interest me I drop it like a bad habit.

Yeah my mom has been watching game of thrones....I don't know how she put up with all the unecessary elements (incest etc) but she said it impossible to watch anything else after because the production costs are so high each episode is like a movie.....personally I'm glad I never got into it....

Daystripper???? Lol dt is a daystripper. Day stripper.

Yes like the opposite of painting

That's a great question, SP. When I was on an SSRI I felt absolutely no emotion besides anger and frustration, then I was taken off that and put on lamictal where a wave of angst and fear was added to my emotional capacity. I read and learn out of angst. One of my biggest fears, what drove me to the university, was my fear of failure, of becoming a loser. So out of these basic, primitive emotions I try and repurpose them into just starting a task. If I can start the task then everything will flow from there I hope. That's the key for me is to start a task most of the time. I tried reading those Scottish books and I got frustrated and gave up of course. Philosophy is hard enough to read without a language barrier. I no longer have the need to express myself out of passion of course. I do it because I fear my fate was written in water.

She can't get me off her mind. My subliminal messages have over come her subconscious and she has no choice but to submit to me. It's inevitable now, Junk.

Hmm wonder if that's my issue they have blunted most of the negative emotions like anxiety so I don't have the negative factors driving me to the same extent.....problem is positive ones are blunted too...so no drive overall.....

Does anyone use pandora? Now that I'm using it more it seems like they want to combine all my diverse musical tastes into one station instead which kinda sucks.....can anyone briefly tell me about Spotify free version?

She did it again. This time she threw paper towels in the toilet. I wish they'd send her to a hospital.

I'm forced to use Spotify, the best iTunes Alternative for Windows users, since Microsoft Groove became irrelevant. In brief, Spotify is good. They make the best playlists around I think. Every Friday they come out with a discovery playlist inspired from your own library and what you frequently play, that will play stuff you haven't heard before. It has a vast music catalogue like Apple Music. You can click and play whatever songs you want. So if you want to hear Beyoncé's Lemonade, you search and you can play it. But there are commercials of course. Spotify Premium cost $10 bucks and I think is worth it. Another cool feature of Spotify is its social media connectedness. If you connect it to your facebook you will see the playlists your friends have made and you can play them and add them to your own list of playlists. I have a lot of friends who are musicians so this is very beneficial to me. I don't particularly like the Mobile app though. It's not very intuitive.

Excellent review

I pay for Pandora premium. I like it a lot

Can you say something to her? Directly? I would end up saying something

How does that work, isn't it only like $5? Do they mix songs from your stations? For me they seriously were putting imagine dragons and Alan walker on my Melanie marteniez station....it was really weird to hear songs like that all together without good transitions......

It's $9.99. No they don't mix the songs up unless you create your own playlist. You can also select individual songs to play and while albums. It's not just radio stations. Also... No commercials!!

I’ve done nothing today. Oh I was able to watch Mr Robot the newest episode without questioning reality as we know it. Yay for meds.

I see the psychiatrist finally on Tuesday nervous about that don’t know what to say never been to one before lol.

I think she gets a kick out of seeing me get upset. She doesn't care about anything. I wish that would help, but it wouldn't help me. Remember that roommate you had with hiv and blood all over the bathroom?

My vape is not working and I did not bring enough Kleenex out to wipe the tank which is leaking all over. I was almost going to scream but I just gave my bag back and left.

Aaah I see. Is there another bathroom you can use? That's so just disgusting.

I have been awake 12hours I am exhausted

I asked my mom about going into pre-pharmacy university transfer in January for 2 years. I'll have to apply as a mature student because I'm 21 or I'll have to do online chemistry grade 12 which I did do but I went to the hospital and couldn't do the second half of it.

Some other courses too would prepare me for it but I'll be learning the same stuff at the start anyways. The things I haven't learned in high school will just be small bumps to overcome and more of a challenge from what I'm not prepared for in comparison to the colossal amount of studying I'd have to do anyways.

I can't really comprehend what I'm doing right now but I feel like that's what I want to do and it makes good money. Then I have money to travel the world, not have to rely on disability and do what I want to do and be independent. I would use disability for something good for the time being to move into my apartment and study.

I've always been interested in molecules and what they do to the human body but it also involves a lot of memorization. Even though you'll forget some of the molecular structures and such, you still have to memorize them. But there's so much more than that. It's a bachelors of science in pharmacology.

If I can't do this, I would love to have a job that works with the understanding in physics and radiation.

I'm in a good stable mind now so I believe I can do it on this Invega injection. I'm ambitious about going to school because I know what it's like to have to work jobs that I don't want to do. My heart is ok so maybe I can go back on Concerta to help focus idk. At least I'm not tired anymore.

The only problem is that I self medicated with drugs and used them because I was bored. I don't really have cravings for them and if I really want this job, I will have to stay clean for the rest of my life which is my plan.

My mom told me to tell my dad about it. He did he would pay for my schooling. I think I should go for it for that reason if everything is paid for.

Here in BC if I go back to school for the 3rd time I was told they might pay for it because I am on pwd(disability).

Not sure what I want to do this time around to be honest for university I am going for a degree.

And yes pharmacists do make lots of money.

Yet are you just going to school for the money aspect in long run or because of the passion?

Passion for sure. The money is just a bonus.

My mom just told me that applying for a mature student is 22 not 21 so I'd either have to wait a year or wait a year and do chemistry alone so I might as well do prepare myself until I'm 22.

If I had much cravings for the research chemicals that I researched the hell out of and then tested on myself, I would say "One more time" before I quit for the rest of my life. But I don't want to one more time.

I feel happy thinking about my future in a good way because I have something to look forward to and learning is great so I can enjoy myself to get where I want.

Isn't that what life is.. Either suffering for the content, hedonia, etc of what you want in the present, enjoying yourself as much as the goal that is completed or even better, enjoying it even more than the goal

I'm not afraid of the English classes that I will have to do anymore either because I'm better at writing than I was in the past.

Also I'm going skiing on December 3rd for my moms birthday as well as Christmas so I'm looking forward to that as well.