Roll Call 105

It’s more like this weird impulse than anything. It’s not rational and I’m not thinking right in that moment. Hey maybe it’ll help the psychotic fish!!!!

It might be because I stopped taking my meds for a few days and then am just getting back on them.

Or just taking them once a day all dose together instead of half twice a day. Wait I think I took more than I should have last night lol maybe that’s why I feel great I think they’re making me feel great idk what’s going on honestly I need to chilllllll.

Personally I am getting nothing out of my pills!

My pills work. I really have no symptoms. They saved my life.

Im very very upset.

Im not sure if i should let the bf come over today.

I think my dad has been drinking already today. Either way, he hasnt gone to the doctor in maybe 6-7 or 8 years. He has a few health problems that are getting worse. Plus he needs a check up. He sleeps hours upon hours on his day off. Hes only up for maybe a few hours a day on his days off. I keep wondering if its a heart problem because my aunt died from a heart attack.

I'm sorry you are upset.

Ugh, I always drink coffee before class and then I have to wait, like, an hour and fifteen minutes to pee. -___- so annoying

I have separation anxiety from my cats lol I miss them so much when I'm gone

My mom fell at home and now she's in the hospital. I'm very worried.

And for some reason my Prozac was doubled today. Went from 2 capsules through yesterday, to 4 or 5 capsules today. Why couldn't they increase more gradually ? Like 3 capsules/day for a week, and then 4? It's stupid and it doesn't make sense. I'm going to be wandering around now like Ichabod Crane again.

I'm worried about my mother. I haven't spoken to her in 2 or 3 weeks because there's no privacy here.

Oh no. I hope your mother will be okay.

Time to try out this new AP...

it's called Vraylar...

Going to Overeaters anonymous on Friday

Thank you, valley!

@Angelique
I hope your mom is okay

@Erti
I hope the new AP works

my pdoc is changing my meds, he increased my geodon
he is going to decrease my stelazine because I am on the max dose and am still having symptoms (does that make sense??? it doesn't make sense to me... )

Thank you, Kori! I hope the changes in your meds works out well.

Good evening/afternoon everyone. How are things going today?

I hope your dad is okay Newtus.

I hope your mom will be okay, Angelique.

I'm okay today. Had therapy. Working on plans for the trip. Trying to keep my head attached, my train of thought is going all over the place, and incoherent at best. But I will persevere and get things done. <3

Thank you, Findingreason! I hope your cognition will fall back into place. I know what it's like to not be able to finish a sentence.

In the independent living program in the psych hospital when I was in group, my train of thought was so bad that they thought I wouldn't be able to do it until the psychiatrist put me on Invega.

I couldn't complete a sentence for the life of me.

You're welcome!

Thank you too. <3 I was on the phone with my partner getting stuff done, and the voices just started talking a lot, making it difficult to even form sentences talking to her...

My roommate, Miss Universe, is hanging around and talked to me. I'm wondering if she paid her phone bill because that was always the one thing she needed from me - phone tech support. It scared me to see her next to my bed. I'm still not sure if she's still in here. The lights are out.

Criteria for Major Depression in DSMV here.

All of my symptoms that do point to depression are caused by my lack of emotion. I find it strange to call it depression since I'm not depressed, I just... don't feel much of anything at all. I don't have a mood that is up or down. Technically it is depression, but it's weird to call it that, and even DocJohn had trouble labeling it that. My anhedonia isn't just about blunting pleasure, but also it extends to blunting sadness, because I can't feel sad. I'm just a walking zombie.

I tried therapy for 3 years and it only gave me a lot of grief. I don't think I want to give it another try. I don't want to go through another troubled therapist. They seemed more troubled than me.

Chemically my brain just won't function emotionally. Maybe ECT is the answer. It just kills me that the sign up for Obama care if RIGHT when my work cuts off and becomes completely stagnant. I can't pay the $150 a month with the $1500 deductible. I'm really jealous of those that have health insurance.

I go back and forth on my diagnosis all the time. What is certain is that I experienced depression (actual sadness and not anhedonia) along side with a severe paranoid delusion for a year until I finally was treated. If I went off my Geodon I might find out if I'm schizoaffective or bipolar with a mixed state but why in the world would I do that really? Maybe schizoaffective depression type. I don't really know.

I relate to the thread you linked. The depressionforum online on a different website has a huge study on anhedonia and it's really disheartening to see all these people stuck without emotions for years. They just don't recover, once it sets it that's it just about. There are VERY few people who have recovered from what I have.

Newtus, don't forget to wear your seatbelt. I just got a seat belt ticket. It was crazy.

Lol. We were parked. In front of my house.

He was paranoid my dad saw us. But my dad wasnt even in the house.

He should be paranoid. If your father caught you guys parked outside the house without your seatbelts on he'd crucify him.