Roll Call 141!

Blue bird I consider you an Inspiration in general....it would make a difference in my life and probably others who read here.

Thanks SP

I would have to disagree with you.

I agree with this.

I know it's only been recently since we starting talking more, but I value you as a friend a lot here. You inspire me, and I would miss you a lot if something were to happen to you.

Bluebird youre such a light in my life where i feel i cant do anymore good.

That hit me when u said u were sleeping on your floor for 6 months

Thank you everybody, I appreciate you guys a lot. I'm not sure why I feel that way sometimes. Maybe it's because the anniversary of my moms death is coming up and I feel alone without her. Nothing is the same without her, it's just like she left and never came back, I didn't really get to say goodbye. She went to the hospital one night then I got a call that she died, and that was that. It was unexpected. I mean I know she had cancer, but was only diagnosed 9 months prior and seemed to be doing well up until a couple days before that. Then my life completely changed instantly within a couple days and I had to move back here where I haven't been since a little kid and be on my own. My emotions have been weird lately, kind of mixed up.

hey blue bird

it's totally normal to feel that way given what you've been thru. your strength and resolve to keep going and keep making goals and attaining them is admirable. which doesn't mean you aren't allowed to have down days. we all do. the one thing I've learned in this life is that things are constantly changing... for better or for worse. what we deal with today won't be the same in 5, 10 years. it gets better, we find new lives to live, new people to be around, new things that make us happy and feel worthy. stay strong but take care of yourself on days like these. although it feels sometimes that it doesn't matter whether we are alive or dead.. the truth is it does matter. more than we can ever know

my xmas loot

I am thinking of going shopping today. After Christmas sales! I don’t really need anything though.
I took the day off but I’m going to do a couple things I didn’t get to Monday.
I’m already anticipating the after holiday let down. The rest of the winter is tough for me. Especially February...worst month of the year. This Feb will be 5 yrs since I came home from the hospital the final time. Feels like a lifetime ago. I haven’t been psychotic since. As good as that is it’s also the anniversary of my beloved empty nest doggo’s traumatic death. One of the events that sparked my break. And in more recent news the 1 yr anniversary of losing both Funny Face and Sophie. I’m already feeling the losses.
I’m hoping this year will be better. I’m feeling calm and stable in general so I’m choosing to believe that 2019 winter won’t be the death of me.

Back to real day to day life
I survived Christmas 2018!!!

I survived christmas, barely.

I haven't had such bad auditory hallucinations for years.

Back to Partial today, only 3 days this week and 3 days next week.

Hey everyone. How are things going today?

I'm okay. Finally finished installing my new HDD and SSD. Just transferring files over to the HDD, and downloading my Steam library onto the SSD.

Had some voices again last night bothering me. I was able to overcome them. So far nothing today.


What's everyone up to?

Green sky, time to die!

Lol jk....somewhat

Omg I’m eating again!

I've been taking vitamin D 1000iu for a month and I think its helping with depression a bit

Hey blue bird,
Hope your feeling better. Winter is always tougher. Maybe when classes start and you get into a routine again I hope things will be better.

Hi everybody, back from the Christmas holiday. Feel like crap today even though Christmas was good. Not sure if it is just the holiday let down, or if it is missing my former Therapist, and the Christmas let down, and missing all the people in my family that died this year or what. IDK, just feel like crap. The visit at my sister's went pretty good. At least the cops weren't called. I kept getting visual hallucinations every time I went into her garage though. Totally freaked me out. At work today. Trying to be distracted, but pretty much failing at it. . Blue_Bird, I hope you are feeling a little better today. Hugs to everyone on the roll call that wants one. Kit

Nice I might try this

My vitamin d is low too....I’ll be starting next week....

I need to get bloodwork done myself...see what can be done and what I may be deficient in...

Whenever I use the sun lamp I seem to exhibit hypomanic symptoms and lately get irritable. So I can't use it it would seem...not pleasant. Maybe I will start the vitamin D tablets. Hmm.

I've been taking the same amount for a couple of weeks too. I'm sure it's helping.

I wanted a complete bloodwork done but was told that they only test for deficiencies in people who show symptoms of such.