Roll Call 145

haven't brushed my hair in days... it's matted in the back... hahaha. mom said i would look beautiful if i brushed my hair...

Any Netflix recommendations?

freshen up on my american sign language...

I keep forgetting the P and the Q but now i think i can remember now.

I know some signs like mom, dad, and "how are you" and stuff. and you me friends which is universal with all the sign language.

I also know dirty words like ******** and **** you

I lied... friends in different sign languages are different.

Sleepy from the haldol and the Geodon

Hope this goes away with time

It's a rainy day and I have a cold so I'm just hanging out at home watching Criminal Minds

I think after about a week I felt better on Haldol.
I only took 8 or 10 mgs max though. I don’t know how much your taking.

I used to love criminal minds.
I haven’t watched it in years.

I stayed home sick today. Was feeling bad this morning but now I'm feeling better. So I feel guilty about staying home. I don't even have my computer, so I can't work from home.

I feel like laying here and not moving till tomorrow

Love my new rosary

So much for my mom senses. My son does have strep. I’m surprised because he usually throws up when he has it and this time his stomach is fine. He is really such though. 102 fever, red swollen throat, hoarseness/muffled voice. He slept from 11 Wednesday night until 10 Thursday night. Sat up for 15 minutes and went back to bed. Got him up at 10 for a shower and the doc. He’s back in bed now .
I bought a Dunkin’ Donuts coffee on my way to cvs. It’s so good freaking $3 though. That’s nuts.
If I ever get out of line here at cvs I’m going to see my guy and then back to work. No fun.

Sorry about your son.

ughhhhhhhhhh The city is doing inspections next week of all the apartments. I hate that, I mean there's nothing wrong with my apartment but I can't stand it, it gives me so much anxiety even though I've lived here for 3 years.

Well I've been learning all kinds of coping techniques and stuff so it's time to put them to use

No, I haven't yet. My bf is sticking to Vapewild because I guess they don't make him put his ID online. I wish I could order freely from everywhere lol.

It seems to get less with time, like Borderline PD.

There's a fun show called The Tribe from New Zealand. I used to watch when it was on cable in 2003. It's about a world run by kids.

I dont feel good. Im so stressed out.

1. I dont feel good. Im probably a bit hungover, but i been sneezing and mucus been coming up.

2. I missed my appt for T. They havent called me back to reschedule.

3. My job counselor called. He wants to make an appt to meet again and try to get and actually hourly paying job. Idk if im ready for that. I explained to him me not wanting to stay on disability forever but i need it right now.

4. My mom wanted me to come down to meet my sis. But shes only here for a few days. She packed her schedule for all three days, but she wants me to come down for a few hours but im 1 1/2 or so hours away from my moms. Its just cutting it too close for the drive. And im not gonna spend the night at my moms. Thats out of the question for me.

5. My energy is hellbound. Im too tired for any effing thing ever. I think when i see this new pdoc ima tell him to take me off haldol and put on a different AP for more energy.

6. I STILL havent gotten my vitamins and i really really need them. They are 7-8 vitamins and they help me physically and with my energy. They are delivered in a parcel locker and the office doesnt know shyt about how to get them out of THEIR OWN mailing boxes. A-holes. I called USPS up and down for days. Nothing is going on. They were 80 dollars.

7. I havent checked on anything for school. I havent signed the papers for the school money loan. I just dont have the time to.

I'm on 10mg. My doc said it'd take about a week too

I swear these pets are like kids

I just had to lock myself in the bedroom just to eat in peace

Hafta change my coil at 4. Not sure I'll be able to vape it until 8. I probably should have asked to do it at 2.

I'm so thirsty. I'm going to get a Coke unless it's sold out. After the vape.

I think you’re experiencing what I did in lack of motivation, you have to find something you live for, not a person but a thing, maybe it’s philosophy. Sometimes you stop waking up and having energy because you’ve given up on your thing that drives you. Once you have that thing you won’t miss a pdoc appointment because you want to get better, you push harder....

True but i am so confused as to whats causing me to not have energy. Because its like no matter what i do everyday, im STILL energyless. I could be really excited about something but i still wake up with no energy. I feel like something is very wrong with me medically, because it shouldnt be like this. Unless its the meds. I think im going to change from haldol to maybe geodon. Idk idk idk. Something. Anything but haldol.

Believe me im pushing very hard. I apply to jobs every single day. Im making appts to get better. Im taking my meds and vitamins as prescribed. I rarely miss them. Im still energyless.

Maybe i need a motivation yes.

Bf is getting a second job because we are struggling. I will never really see him anymore. And that pains me so much.