Roll Call: 146

I'm attracted to really creative things where encrypted multiple possible meanings are reality..

Bluebird you’re doing great.....have you tried woebot it helps with this kind of thing.

Again I gotta agree with Kim.
With your mom paying your portion of the rent, your disability, bf’s job and you picking up a few hours there was no reason to say you couldn’t afford it. But in reality...even if we had said it would you have listened? You were all in.
Since then though it seems you’ve signed yourself up for quite a bit of additional debt (mattress, watches, another mouth to feed, vaccinate, etc.). And you’ve stopped working.
You can’t really be upset with people for encouraging you to move forward with life when you were convinced you were ready to move out just because you made some poor financial decisions in the interim.
It seems to me like you have 2 options. Move back with dad or you and bf need to pick up some work hours. Lots of young independent people work more than one job. When I was on my own I had a full time third shift job and a part time daytime job. When we had kids my husband started doubling his overtime. It sucked and we didn’t see a ton of each other but we were independent and self sufficient.
It’s hard but it’s worth it.

Thanks, I was actually looking through Facebook messenger today and saw old messages from woebot and was thinking of trying it again

They have an app now it’s even better....

I'll have to check that out

I was not

I told u guys from the beginning i couldn’t afford it but i needed out

Im out of here

Sorry you're struggling Newtus

Finances are tricky when living on your own especially on mostly a fixed income. My sister is my rep payee, when I was living with my mom I paid part of the rent but the rest was for things I need and a little for fun stuff but once I moved into my apartment I learned fast that money has to go to rent, electricity, food, and cat food/litter first. And if there's any leftover, household necessities like cleaning products, toothpaste, shampoo, etc. Once in awhile I'm able to spend a little extra money if I get some for birthdays or Christmas and what not but in general that's the way my money has to be spent until I get a part time job and my finances are freed up a bit. It took some time getting adjusted to, I used to go on a lot of manic shopping sprees (not saying that's what you're doing, just a personal example) but it's the only way I can manage now if I want to have a roof over my head and food to eat

I'm so sick of this cough

I’m sorry you’re upset but blaming other people for your problems isn’t helpful.

A good book that you might like is Tolstoy's Confessions. It's very religious and deals with life. The metaphors for life are beautiful.

Do you have a Kindle? If you do have a kindle you can get it for free along with thousands of other classics!

There’s also the kindle app....

No ones blaming anyone.

I just take too much advice from people who arent where i am.

Im getting off of here for the rest of the night

Yes I have a kindle, I'll check that out, thanks!

I used a lot of mental energy today. I want to do more things. But exhausted. I don't want the day to end. I hate night time. I took one benzo to ease psychedelic flashback.

Back sitting in ER all night waiting for a room for my wife. It never ends for her. I feel so awful. ☹

Morning

I got off early last night to gather my thoughts.

Im slightly in a better place now. I woke up positive and took all my vitamins except the b12. I havent been using it as much because i seemed to not have needed it as much recently even though ive been getting in a slump in the middle of the day.

Ima try to send that package off today if i can.

I hope everything will be okay

Oh no. I hope she’ll be okay

Morning! Almost forgot to pay my taxes last night. I jumped out of bed and made an online payment at like 11:30 .
Just working and taking care of my son today. He’s hurting pretty good. I gave home a perc at bedtime last night and told him to wake me if he woke up during the night and needed another. He must have slept through cuz he didn’t get me up. I’m so nervous abt giving him percs...that’s how it starts right?
Cold and windy today. Does not feel like spring today.

I got percs after my surgery in my twenties they told me to take them before the pain because allowing the pain to set in is what caused addiction. They also made me puke so I switched to Advil.

Yeah. Percs are not my friend either.
I rarely take relief.
Now if they were offering up free morphine drips that’d be a different story lol.

Hahaha...my work program was still not working this morning. My boss called and he tried a few things. Just seems to be down but since he uses the free version we don’t get tech support. Anyway, he sounded just like I did yesterday when I was dealing with it.
Half-way through he’s like “**** it. I just signed up for a new service.” So now I have a shiny new program to figure out.