Roll Call 153

Question for you folks. My roommate's brother has confessed that if he killed anyone he'd have no remorse. He was treated unjusticely by a former employer and so he can't get another job if he lists them as a former employer. Also he gets angered, and has had hallucinations. When I'm around him I've seen him flip out about his injustice, and in other situations he yells while having a casual conversation. He's vvery smart, has a PhD, but cannot for the life of him get a job to use it. He's not going to buy a gun, but since he doesn't have access to pot (which he self-medicates with) he has outbursts of rage, for instance, he keyed his car with, "(F)uck you God" on the back fender. He was so riled up when he had a job with google maps, that he purposely broke his phone because of frustration. He had a tablet, and he purposely broke that too. So now he's even more frustreated because he can't deliver flowers anymore without GPS.

Does anyone have an idea of what could be going on here?

You/someone need/s to sit down and talk to him about why he's so angry and his underlying issues. He won't see a therapist. He may even think nothing is wrong with him.. which produces hallucinations.. (Idk).. If he has never hallucinated, I would have suggested psilocybin.

People can be agitated for many reasons. You won't be able to know the reasons. Saying "(F)uck you God" is like saying idk he made a bad choice with his phd.. could be in debt.. can't get a job he likes.. a gf.. hates his life basically.

If I killed someone that I wanted to kill, I'd still feel sad maybe idk

I once smashed my laptop off the driveway.

Weed can trigger psychosis and when you stop smoking it, it can lead to over thinking and anxiety.

He has no financial independents, Gets stressed out to easily, Talks to himself, hits his own head, He does hallucinate, breaks stuff, talks to himself in his rage, but when im around him, he gets chatty Kathy but with a yelling voice. He hates his life to the point of extreme anger. He hasn't had a girlfriend in a very long time because he can barely afford his phone bill, of which he doesn't need because in a fit of rage at google maps, he broke his phone. He's smart, but he cracked when he had his job 3 years ago. I don't know what these symptoms are.

I think weed calms him, and since he doesn't have that, his condition is getting worse. He wanted to use my phone, which I won't let anyone use my phone. That's like asking me if they can use my social security card if you ask me. Lately he's been playing with the laser pointer for hours, b/c if he puts it in the corner he can see three dots, and then he thinks he can maybe start the fire alarm... this is with phone withdrawal. He's deteriorating pretty fast without a job and without a phone, without pot right now.

I remember when I was super young I thought birds were laughing at me and I'd get messages from weird things like my bicycle

I'd also shower with my clothes on bc I thought there was a camera in my shower . I did that when I was like 10 11 12

But my therapist said that was probably from the abuse

But yea looking back I see that I had symptoms In my childhood

Lately I've been hearing someone whispering my name loudly at work

One time someone whispered my name and I turned around and my therapist was there. He smiled and then said oh wait I probably shouldn't do that !

I get that sometimes too! The other day I heard someone call my name and I was looking around and my boss saw me and asked what was up

Eek!

Lately, because of the stress of my given circumstances, it seems like I'm on the autobahn, and it sounds like cars are roaring pass men. Tomorrow I find out if my situation is fixable in the short term.

Feeling stressed cuz social media (Lmfao).. Gonna take 50mg CBD.

I want to create something..

=[

I was absorbed in a movie and forgot I hadn't eaten anything since 12, got up and nearly walked into the wall

I have banished you from not eating regular modern human meals. Your body doesn't react to fasting well D:

lol I don't know why that happened. Normally I can go a day or two without eating, I don't do it intentionally anymore, just got caught up in things today, maybe it's the meds I'm on, not sure but the room felt like it tilted

I really hope my mom beats cancer

Edit: And SP's mom

Went to the zoo today with the bf, had a nice time.

Ditto.....

I feel strange. Not sure iF I'm panicking or what

The strangeness is a keyword that triggers my concern. No worries it will be over with time. Do you have a benzo? If not, I'd suggest just laying in bed and letting your sleep phase go down another level to meditation brain waves. If you fall asleep, that's even better.

Or you could do all the creative things that you do to distract yourself. I can't even watch movies on weird panic attacks. Maybe listening to guided meditation would help.

Thank you Desoxyn, Yeah, I have klonopin if I need it, I'm probably going to take my meds and go to sleep soon because I can't focus on the movie anymore with the strange feeling, I'll probably feel better when I wake up

sometimes I feel like they do things to make people die and it look like an accident in order to get rid of people with mental illness

That sounds paranoid to me.

Fear of poison is a sign of paranoia. Sorry you're feeling that way, BB. ((hugs))

Sometimes I have thoughts that my doctor is trying to poison me.

I told my doctor once about it and he was flattered to be part of the delusional conspiracy

That's paranoia. The strange state can increase adrenaline to make you think of threats especially false latent ones.

Omg it's raining again yesssss

*Orgasms*