Roll Call 156

Was worried my meds were poisoning me, there were spirits in my kitchen telling me that

I'm not sure what to do, I think I'll take I e if my prns. I'm hearing whispering in my ear and worried I'm being poisoned by my doctor. I hate this.

Hugs bluebird, take a prn and get a good nights sleep it will help....

I did the mbti test to what I feel instead of what I do and I found the cure
to negative symptoms.. Or what negative symptoms actually are.. (Hear me out..)..

It said "ENFJ-Assertive". So all the things that I want to do, I follow those personality traits. I just have to be really sure of myself (Because I'm always never sure of myself. But the foundations are already there in the back of my head).

Everything wrong with me can be fixed like a mathematical thing I believe (Like AD said..)

I made a Facebook post called "There's no such thing". That's it. That's all it was.

Maybe I'm going psychotic. Who knows. But I won't question it until I'm on the dark side of the moon.

See you on the dark side of the moon!

I'm dancing because we're supposed to be dancing. That's all we're supposed to do..

Research “mbti cognitive functions” and you will not be disappointed, speaking of mathematical equations.

Dance with me AD!

No ok but yeah I'll look into it..

My happiness level is a 10/10 for some reason.

Depression. Gets. Better.

Edit: Unless it's like 20 years then that's a problem... Edit: (But that's because of neuroplasticity.. the brain being so used to depression that it formed like a crystal to depression..)

Not doing well

You seem to be on a good amount of meds. When I was not well I was on like 9 but now I take 4.

Your mental state (Set) and the situation you're in (Setting) plays a large role in everything. Those two things you need to change. I try to make it simple like that for myself (Just two things) instead of thinking of it like a complete ball of madness that is reality.

So you could go to a safe place (Which you do often) and do the things that you think will help that has worked before but also switch it up by 1% every time because it happens again and again. Eventually, you'll be better and better at it. So don't give up. I know you suffer from dissociation and I believe that's like the worst possible thing.. Along with psychosis, anxiety, depression.

It's a mess. But I'm here to listen if you want to talk...

I think I might go to sleep soon. Gonna take atenolol, seroquel and melatonin rn..

Sorry to hear...hugs.

Was doing well yesterday after I got to work and after work.

Then I read an article at night about how dna testing cant factually tell you anything at all, and how it's the biggest scam of the decade. And it talked about how law enforcement uses genealogy databases now. And then I thought maybe dna testing was the gonna be the mark of the beast that God talked about. Because on the article it said that soon, one day, only 2 or 3 percent of the population will be needed to have everyone's dna.

So I looked in revelations in my bible. I read 10 chapters into it. Which, chapters in the bible are normally very short. It spoke of how god condemned nicolations, which was a early christian cult. And I googled it, and it said all this stuff about some of them were apart of the Dionysian Mysteries which were a cult that used drugs and trance inducing things like music and dance to supposedly liberate themselves.

That's something else. But I ended up finding a cult website online.

I just got sick to my stomach because I made my whole family get dna testing. And I thought my dad was going to hell cuz dna testing was the mark of the beast and I made him do it. Like get it done. I was hallucinating and having a bad delusion and paranoia.

It was just very bad last night.

i saw something like that on Gizmodo about the DNA testing...you can’t have it both ways...ie they can’t be wrong and be used for law enforcement. The short answer is they’re right for the most part about your genetics but where they get it wrong is interpretation...a lot of them go too far in claims. For example bipolar hasn’t been shown to be genetic yet but they say I have a ten percent increase in my chances...that’s pretty inaccurate even though I have bipolar.

So the quit day came and went, I quit for almost two days. My expectations aren't high. The last time it was almost a day. I just have to keep trying. I am using the patch. Generally its pretty easy with the patch. Unfortunately I don't have anything to do. I should say I don't have anything I want to do.

Went to the pharmacy then the food pantry to have lunch and pick up some fruit, got a chocolate tart too

Man. Finally got decent sleep last night. I can control anxiety in the day but not while I sleep. Still worried about my sister and what we’ll find out about her tumor.

Well my sister officially has cancer......insert swear here......

Omg I'm so sorry SP

Oh man I'm so sorry to hear that. My thoughts are with you and your family

They could have gotten people's dna using thousands of other ways. DNA is everywhere.

I'm so sorry @Sometimes psychotic Do they know the stage of the cancer yet? Kit

Yea but that's not the point. Everyone has pretty much PAID to GIVE their dna to a company.

My sister wasn’t clear on that she said it was confusing...I guess the doctor was at the grocery calling her so it can be really a lot of numbers and letters without them being written down.

So I was trying to get my sister some bath bombs from lush for self care but she already had a lot of those. She requested dog toys because seeing her dog so happy makes her happy so I sent her three toys, a sloth, ostrich with a bow tie and a flamingo...these were hand picked among his favorites...he is a destruction machine because he kills the squeakers fast. Anyway she’s going to video the unboxing and send it to me and my mom. I feel like at least doing something and interacting with her really enhanced my mood. It may not really “help” but I feel better and I hope she feels better after the unboxing.